


Roses For Jean

by MsUwU



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drama & Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-02-26 21:39:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 74,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18725494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsUwU/pseuds/MsUwU
Summary: To Hannah Watson the idea of destiny is a way of life; if it was meant to be, it will be. So when she meets Marco by accident hours before her friends Eren and Mikasa set them up to meet, Hannah can't help but wonder if this is what destiny has in store for her...-Fluffy? Yes.Romance? Yes.Copious amounts of crying? Yep.Jean? YES. (Have patience, it's worth it I promise.)Cursing? Fuck yes.Drama? Probably.





	1. Destiny or Bullshit?

**Author's Note:**

> Going through and editing this slowly, bear with me when things shift!

  
** -Hannah- **

I fumbled to get bus fare out of the bottom of my consistently cluttered and disorganized purse when the large tin can on wheels came into my view. Just as it pulled up to the curb, I managed to trip and drop all of my coins on the ground, half of it falling into a sewer grate just off the sidewalk's curb.

" _Fuck my life_ , " I muttered as I pick myself up off of the ground and dust off my pants.

Someone tapped my shoulder and handed me exact change for the bus, his warm hand brushed mine as he passed the coins. I looked up to see my savior, who happened to be a boyishly handsome man about my age. He's had a slightly athletic build, brown hair parted in the middle, and a sprinkling of freckles strewn across his cheeks. A blush swept over my face as the embarrassment from staring registered in my mind. His eyes crinkled up just slightly at the corners as he smiled kindly and motioned for me to get on the bus before him.

I board and slipped the change into the appropriate slot, taking an open seat beside a window. The man took the seat in front of me and put his headphones on, immediately bobbing his head along with the tempo passing through his ears. All I wanted to do was work up the courage to thank him, but he probably doesn't give a shit and wouldn't want to be bothered anyway...

Once I got to work and settled in at my desk, I propped an elbow up on the surface, letting my chin be held up by my hand as I thought about the handsome strangers smile. _Damn it Bus Guy, get out of my head!_ It's not like I'll ever see him again, I've never seen him at the bus stop before... or at least I never noticed. How could I have not noticed him though?

Just like that, it was as if the cloud parted and God said, _'Get your shit together, Hannah!'_ because a cup of coffee was placed in front of my dazed face to help me get back in the game.

"Hannah, you look like you need this." A familiar voice nudged me out of my comatose state. I perked up as the smell of freshly brewed dark roast coffee filled my nasal passages. "Sweet baby Jesus, good lookin' out, Eren."

"You really should get more sleep, you know." He chastised.

"That's not how insomnia works, asshat." I rolled my eyes, trying to focus on the warmth that the cup radiated through my fingertips and traveled throughout my body. Eren sighed as he sat down at the desk across from me and ran a hand through his jet black hair. "I know, I know. I just worry about you, Hanny."

I rolled my eyes, "We're not kids anymore Eren, stop calling me that. You don't have to worry, I'm f-"

" _Fine_. I know, you're always fine." He interrupted as he folded his arms across his chest and walked to his desk.

\-   
A few hours later there was a tug at my arm, "Let's go."

"Mikasa I brought my lunch today." I groaned to no avail as she continued to pull until I was fully out of my chair. Being the smart ass I am, I let my body go limp, making myself fall into her and forcing my frustratingly beautiful raven-haired friend to catch me. She does at first, but then realized what I did and let me fall to the ground as she backed up.

_Maybe if I play dead she will go away..._

We've been friends since childhood, so the quiet woman already knew all my tricks and could read me like a damn book. "Hannah I'm not a bear, playing dead won't work."

I rolled over onto my back, letting my tongue hang out the side of my mouth. She huffed and nudged my cheek with her boot before tapping it impatiently against the floor. Waiting. I stared up at her, "Why do you want me to go so bad anyway? You know I don't like being unnecessarily social."

"There's someone I'd like you to meet. Now get up, we're going." I did as she said and then leaned sideways to look at Eren's desk, but it was empty so my gaze returned to Mikasa. "He's already waiting at the door." Her usual monotonous voice informed.

I grabbed my jacket off my chair and slid my arms through as I followed Mikasa's lead, admiring her shiny black hair as it brushed against her shoulder with each step. How does she even get her damn hair to look like that? I need to remember to ask later...

Eren grinned at us, "Took ya long enough! Let's go."

"Where are we even going anyway? And who are we meeting?" He led us out the doors and we start walking, apparently our destination isn't too far from the office. "His nam-"

I cut off Eren and threw my head back in frustration. " _His?_ Dear lord tell me you assholes aren't trying to set me up again."

"Hannah, just have an open mind for once! If you keep going this way you're going to end up a bitter old spinster!" He shouted, his eyes lit up with a determination that I know very well will still end with me eventually caving.

With one hand on my hip and the other waving around to accentuate my arguement, I continued. "You guys can't keep playing matchmaker! If I meet someone, I meet someone. I'm not going to go around fucking forcing it. Don't mess with destiny, Eren!"

_Sometimes I think this little shit doubts my determination..._

I know destiny seems like bullshit, and it probably is, but I've always been drawn to it as a concept. When I was a young teenager crying over an unrequited love to my mother, she told me ' _everything comes with time'._   Being the impatient kid I was, I asked ' _Well when will that be? I'm ready now!_ '

My mother's response is what made this conversation stay with me forever, the memory only growing stronger and more persistent since her passing. She sighed and held my face in her hands as she replied, _'Hannah, there is never a time and place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a single moment, in a heartbeat.'_

So that's what I'm waiting for, a sole moment where my heart speaks up, letting me know I've found what I've been aching for, and that's why I don't want to be set up by my friends. Speaking of friends, Eren's face was getting redder by the second as his temper increased, a trait which I've always found a bit amusing.

"HANNAH FUCKING WATSON. YOU'RE GONNA COME WITH US AND HAVE A NICE TIME OR I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS INTO NEXT WEEK."

I couldn't help but laugh at how angry he got. When Eren gets worked up he looks like an angry Yorkie. He glared at me, "We're here. Play nice and maybe you'll actually like him."

Eren held the door open for Mikasa and I and she nodded over to a man in the corner. As we got closer my eyes to started to widen as I recognized the person in front of me. I pointed to the man with a smirk, "Hey, you're the nice guy who gave me bus fare this morning. Thanks, man. I'm guessing your name isn't _Bus Guy_ though?"

He smiled brightly as he stood up and reached out a hand for me to shake, "I'm Marco. I imagine your name isn't _angry_ _pretty girl_ , as I've referred to you in my head since this morning?"

Mikasa stifled a laugh but Eren didn't try to hide his as he pulled out a chair for his girlfriend and watched me for a response. When my hand met his warm one I already felt my cheeks warm up just a little. "Hannah."

"Angry pretty girl _is_ pretty accurate though." Eren chuckled as he grinned knowingly at me in the way only a friend could. My eyes rolled back dramatically, "Fuck you, Jaeger."   
  


 


	2. Four Roses and a Side of Asshole

** -Hannah- **

"It was nice to meet you, Hannah." Marco waved with his kind smile as Eren, Mikasa, and I make our way back to the office. I waved back slightly, "You too."

"You liked him, right?!" Eren smiled as he clapped his hand on my shoulder. I shook it off and continued walking as I avoided meeting his eyes. "He was...nice."

He groaned and threw his head back, "What is it this time?"

"You don't have to say it like that you little shit!" I punched his shoulder, causing him to hiss in a low tone but it's obvious he's already getting worked up again. "Why can't you just give someone a chance for once!"

My fingers lifted up to pinch the bridge of my nose, "Why are you so obsessed with my personal life?"

"Because you don't have one!"

Ouch. I mean, I guess he's not wrong... but I have them, and Armin! It's not like I don't have any friends, just not a boyfriend. Who cares?!

I stayed silent on our walk back, not bothering to bite back at Eren this time. I laid my jacket on the back of my chair once again before I stared at the spreadsheet on my computer as if it was encoded in ancient hieroglyphs.

Another coffee appeared in front of me. "Truce?" Eren's voice rings sincere in my ears and with a sigh my head nodded, not turning around because I hadn't fully forgiven him yet.

He placed a piece of paper on my keyboard, "Please just think about it, Hannah. Even if you just make another friend it's worth putting yourself out there."

I looked down at the scrap of paper and saw a phone number with Marco scribbled messily above. I shoved it in my pants pocket and drank the hot coffee my friend brought me, letting its warmth try and melt my god damn cold heart.

\--

When I got home from work I heated up some leftover pizza and fed my cat, Tuna. The chunky gray tuxedo kitty demolished the food on her plate before joining me on the couch with a purr.

After situating myself cross-legged on the cushion, I put on Monty Python and The Holy Grail for the millionth time, quoting along with my favorite scenes with a mouth half full of pizza-y goodness.

"She turned me into a newt!"

All of a sudden I couldn't breathe. I tried coughing but it didn't do anything. I rushed over to the sink and ran the tap, sticking my mouth under the running water to try and lubricate my throat but it just fell out of my mouth. My panic continued as I pulled out a kitchen chair and made myself fall on it in a makeshift Heimlich maneuver. Finally, my airways cleared as a gross ass mushy bite of pizza flew onto the table, " _Holy fuck!"_

Tuna just looked at me and blinked, clearly not giving a fuck. I swear that bitch would eat my decaying corpse if I died right now - I love her so much, she's perfect.

I sat back on the couch and leaned my head back with a groan, Eren was right - I am going to die alone as a crotchety old bag. The thought spurred me to do something I didn't actually anticipate myself doing, text some guy Jaeger set me up with.

 **Hannah**  
Hey, Bus Guy.

 **Bus Guy**  
Hey, Angry Pretty Girl. I'm actually kind of surprised to hear from you.

 **Hannah**  
WeLl, ExCuSe Me.

 **Bus Guy**  
You free for a drink tomorrow evening? I'm going to be meeting with a friend a block away from the cafe we were at today, you should come with.

 **Bus Guy**  
Not a date, no pressure.

 **Hannah**  
I don't know if I should be happy or offended that it's not a date?

 **Bus Guy**  
Probably both. We're meeting there at 6:30, right after work. I'll text you the address of the place tomorrow.

 **Hannah**  
Okay.

-

The next day passed by pretty quickly with minimal human interaction, thank god. Near the end of the day, my phone vibrated on my desk, making a loud buzzing sound that caught Eren's attention.

"Watson, are you... " he opened his mouth in surprise, "texting someone?!"

I stared blankly at him, blinking slowly a few times before answering. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Well yeah, but I didn't think you'd actually do it."

My shoulders rose and fell lazily in a shrug, "Neither did I, actually."

"What changed your mind?" He asked, leaning back in his chair with a smug smile.

I tilted my head to see Eren better and give him a wink. "I'll never tell."

He shook his head as he exhaled, "Whatever, Hanny. I'm glad you are broadening your horizons."

-

I walked over to the pub Marco had sent me directions to and leaned against the outside wall.

 **Hannah**  
Here.

 **Bus** **Guy**  
We're at the bar, saving you a seat.

I opened the heavy wooden door to the classic looking pub. I made note of the sports team memorabilia and tin alcohol signs that line the wooden plank walls as I made my way to the large bar in the center of the venue.

I spotted Marco and he waved me over, "Hey Hannah!" He greeted as I sat down in the chair beside him and his particularly attractive friend. Marco quickly rolled his hand as he went through a small introduction.  "Hannah, Jean. Jean, Hannah."

I nodded in acknowledgment and his face fell into a slight scowl. Marco picked up where their conversation left off, sports or some shit I don't care about. I used this time to take a good look at the men in front of me, noting Marco's cute sprinkling of freckles across his cheeks as well as Jean's sharp jaw and muscular build. _Damn_ , he must work at that.

The bartender approached and asked for my drink order, "An old fashioned with Four Roses if you've got it." He nodded and turned around to get started.

Jean piped up, "Four Roses? You too good for Jim Beam, Angry girl?"

I lifted my shoulders in a sheepish shrug, "I'm not a nineteen-year-old college kid anymore."

He narrowed his eyes slightly and scoffed, "So you do think you're too good for it."

"Hey man, I'm not trying to start a fight, I just ordered a fucking drink."

Jean is about to stand up but Marco put a hand on his shoulder and forced him down into his stool. The bartender brought me my drink and I stopped him before he left. "Oh! While you're here, could I also get another old fashioned but with Beam and one of whatever my freckled friend here is drinking."

Jean cocked an eyebrow at me as I slid Marco's drink in front of him, "Thanks for saving my ass yesterday, now we're even."

"Jean, come here," I called over to him with a tilt of my head. 

He stayed in his seat and glared, "I'm not a fucking dog, you bitch."

I rolled my eyes. Tough guy, huh? "Get over yourself and just try this drink, asshole."

Marco nudged his friend and he begrudgingly took the empty seat on my other side. I slid him my drink made with Four Roses.

"Take a sip," I instruct and he does so. Afterward, I swapped out that glass with the drink made with Jim Beam and motioned for him to also have a taste of that one.

"Which drink do you want to finish. One or two."

"One, obviously it's the-"

"Four Roses."

I slid it over to him, "Four Roses is smooth with a spicy kick and a hint of caramel, making it ideal for an old fashioned." My lips touched the glass as I took a sip of the drink in front of me, not bothering to give any further information as I'm certain I've proved my point. Jean grumbled something under his breath but continued to sip at the drink.

Marco chuckled, "You're just full of surprises, Hannah."

I lifted a sarcastic eyebrow at him, "Wouldn't everything be a surprise since you don't know me?"

Jean clicked his tongue and I could see his jaw clench afterward, "You don't have to be such a bitch."

I tilted my head to look in this assholes direction, "Proving a point doesn't make me a bitch."

"He invited you out with us and you're just trying to start shit!" Jean started raising his voice, earning the attention of another patron at the bar who watched with a melancholy expression.

"Having an opinion doesn't mean I'm starting shit, either."

After I slid out of my seat and before I walked out of the door, I gave a salute to Marco, "Thanks for trying."

\--

** - ** **Jean-**

As she walked out the door, I turned to the bartender and pointed to my drink, "Which whiskey was this made with?"

The man took a second to look at the slightly darker consistency before reaching his conclusion. "Four Roses."

"FUCK!" My hand slammed against the wooden bar, making it shake and earning a frown from the bartender who was just helping me. Marco chuckled, "You don't have to be right about everything Jean."

 


	3. I Just Told Him He Was Cute

** -Jean- **

"Ugh, Marco why did you invite her?" I questioned as we walk to my car. "She reminded me of you." He shrugged.

"Of me?! There's no way I'm anything like that twat!" I scoffed. Marco stared at me blankly, blinking twice before facing forward once again.

"Don't be like that! You know I'm not!" Now I'm fucking defensive. "She didn't even smile!"  He arched an eyebrow, "You didn't either, actually. You didn't even give her a chance, you just started criticizing her drink choice and then she defended it. I'd say that in this situation, _you_ were the asshole."

"Pfft. Whatever, she deserved it anyway."

"How?"

We got into the car and I slammed my door shut. "God damn it, Marco. She just did, okay?! She's like fucking Jaeger."

"Oh, so that's why. You hated her before you even met her, purely because she's friends with Eren." His knowing smirk pissed me the fuck off, "Fuck you, Marco. I hate her because she was a bitch, end of story."

"Hmph. Well, your loss. I thought she was pretty hot." He mused as he buckled himself in. Marco wasn't wrong. Her long auburn hair cascaded down to the middle of her back, it had a slight wave to it that made me want to reach out and run my hand through to feel how soft it must be. 

Her emerald green eyes held an intensity I hadn't seen before and those damn pouty lips were the same pink that her cheeks were. It seemed impossible to me that she was even single, so naturally I concluded that she must be fucking nuts.

"Ugh. Normally I'd say go for it, but I don't want her hanging around. You can do better."  Marco chuckled, "You know nothing about her, settle down Jean!"

I ran a hand through my hair and exhaled slowly in an effort to calm myself before driving Marco home.  I just couldn't help but go over everything in my head, why am I so worked up over this? I can't believe she didn't even smile! _AND_ she tried to make a fool out of me. UGH.  Whatever, I better not have to see her again.

\--   
**-Hannah-**

 **Bus Guy**   
Sorry about Jean, he's not usually like that.

 **Hannah**   
What is he usually like?

 **Bus Guy**   
Okay, I guess kinda like that. Just not as bad.

 **Hannah**   
That's okay, didn't ruin my night or anything.

 **Bus Guy**   
Phew.

Marco's a nice guy, I'd say I don't know how he's friends with someone like Jean, but it's probably because he's the kind of person that can get along with anyone. 

I don't let it get to me and just repeat the words of my mother, ' _Water off a ducks back,_ _Hannah.'_

I ran myself a hot bath and lowered myself in.  Tuna jumped up on the edge and sat down, continuously meowing at me as if she's confirming that I'm okay. Over and over and over again until I get the fuck out.

The next day at work, Eren yet again sets a coffee in front of me and I swivel around to face him. "So I heard you met Jean."  He teased with a smirk. 

I rolled my eyes in response as I took a sip of my drink, causing Eren to chuckle a little. "Yeah thats pretty much how I feel about him too. Especially because he's into my fucking girlfriend."

I choked on my drink, " _What_?! You guys are like fucking soul mates or some shit like that. He knows you're together, right?"

"Yuuuup." He draws out the word, popping the P for dramatic effect. "How do you know he's into Mikasa? I mean, don't get me wrong, she's hot. But did he just straight up say it?"

"I wasn't there the first time they met, but she did say she had a boyfriend and he still kept hitting on her.  The next time she met up with him and Marco I tagged along. He got the picture but kept staring at her."

I laughed, "You can't blame him for looking at her. He has eyes, you know."

"Why are you defending him! He's a dick!" Eren started to get more worked up and I sighed, knowing I better fucking diffuse this before it becomes a huge issue.

"I agree, he is a dick. I also think that Mikasa is an attractive woman and people like to look at attractive people. That doesn't mean he's going to try and swoop in and steal her from you, idiot. You're just projecting your fears onto him."

Eren clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, breathing deeply before he opened them once again. "Whatever."  He replied and walked back to his desk.

\-   
**Bus Guy**   
Hey Hannah, do you like billiards?

 **Hannah**   
Perhaps. What's it to you?

 **Bus Guy**   
Jean and I are headed to a pool hall later, you should join us.

 **Hannah**   
Not that I care, but does Jean know you're inviting me? He doesn't seem to be my biggest fan.

 **Bus Guy**   
I let him know, don't fret!

 **Hannah**   
If you say so...

\-   
Marco sent me the details and I headed over after work, finding the two of them sitting on stools with pool cues in one hand and a beer in the other. 

I got a beer from the waitress and joined them with a simple, "Hey."

"Hey Hannah!" Marco greeted, accompanied by his bright and friendly smile. Jean just nods his head towards my drink, "What, no fancy fuckin' cocktail this time?" I shrugged, he's probably just trying to get a rise out of me. "You guys about to start a match?"

Marco nods, "Yup!"

"Cool, I call winner." 

He pointed his finger at me like it's a gun and squeezed the trigger, "You got it."

Although Freckles played a decent game, Jean was the winner.  Winning against him will taste so sweet. As I watched Jean rack the balls, I rubbed the tip of my cue with the bubblegum pink cube of chalk.  
"Stripes or solids?" He asks.

"Actually, do you wanna play 8 ball?"  He lifted an eyebrow at me, "Do _you_ want to play 8 ball?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

"Touché."

Jean reset the rack to set up for the game and we flipped a coin to see who breaks.  Jean flipped heads and he shot a clean break, sinking a few balls.  He smirked confidently at me and I saw Marco shake his head behind him.

I studied the table for a moment, walking around a little until I find a good angle and called my shot. "Two in the left center side pocket." I put a slight spin on the ball to curve it where I wanted it to go, and sunk it.  I motioned with my cue to the 3 ball, "Right back corner pocket."

Again the ball sails smoothly across the green felt across the table and into the designated leather pouch. This goes on two more times, missing a tricky shot on the 6 ball. "Fucking finally." Jean mumbled.

I sat back on the stool beside Marco as I watched Jean try and carefully set up the shitty shot I left him. "Dang Hannah, I didn't think you'd be a shark." 

I couldn't help but smile, "We had a table in the basement when I was growing up. I spent a lot of time down there."

Jean missed his shot and cursed, raising his eyes slowly to see if we were watching, which we were. When his eyes met mine and he looked a little startled, I tilted my head sideways in confusion.  Jean rolled his eyes and I shook it off, already seeing the perfect shot and calling it. I can hear Marco teasing Jean from here, "What was that look, man?"

"What are you talking about?"

I continued calling shots, running the table while listening in. I couldn't help it, they weren't being quiet about it anyway.   
"She has a pretty smile, doesn't she?" Jean scoffed, "Not pretty enough to tempt me."

Well now you just made it a fucking game, Horse face. We'll see about that.   
"Jean?" I glanced over my shoulder at him, catching his attention.  "I'm about to shoot at the 8 ball, did you want to watch?"

He stood and took a few steps closer until he was close enough to tower over me.  I rested the butt of my cue lightly on top of his shoe as I tilted my head upwards to meet his eyes, giving him a sly smile. "You're not trying to intimidate me right now, are you?" 

He stepped even closer, his brown eyes not leaving mine for a second. I raised myself on my tip toes, resting my hand lightly on the side of his neck as I whispered, "It's not working."

I pulled away and grinned with pride when I noticed the blush on his cheeks.  Marco chuckled as well and I made my last shot, sinking the 8 ball in the left front pocket.  Jean is still standing where I left him, but just staring at the pool table.  I walked over and rested my hand on his arm, "Don't be mad, Jean. It's just a game."

I sat and chatted with Marco for a bit before I headed to the bar to grab another beer. I thanked the waitress who grabbed it for me and when I turned around, I found myself suddenly caged in by a muscular set of arms. My startled gaze met Jean's features and the expression they held was something I haven't seen from him. 

The depths of his eyes are swimming with doubt and confidence somehow at simultaneously. "Why do you keep making a fool out of me?" His voice was low and gruff in a way that, had he been almost any other man, would've made me weak in the knees. "Have you stopped to consider that perhaps it's you making an ass of yourself?"

He remained silent for a moment, either taking his sweet god damn time coming up with a clever retort or actually contemplating his actions.  _Ugh_ , this is taking too long.  I crouched slightly and ducked under his arm, freeing myself as I could have moments ago and heading back to my acquaintance.

"That looked...intense." Marco commented. I took a sip of my beer, "I have no idea what the fuck that was about."

"He's a complex man, Hannah."

"If by complex you mean he HAS a complex, I agree."

Marco laughed, causing his freckle speckled nose to wrinkle in the cutest way.  I just had to pinch his cheek. "You're really cute, Marco." I teased.  He immediately blushed a dark crimson color and I chuckled, "Relax, Freckles. Take the compliment."

Jean came back with another beer in hand, his expression more composed than earlier and now rather stoic.  "What compliment?" He asked and I replied with a shrug. "I just told him he was cute, that's all. "

Jeans eyebrows knitted together for a moment before replying, "Jeez, and I thought _you_ were the third wheel tonight. "

\--   
_What did I just do?_ I sat at the bar for a minute, wondering what the fuck that was supposed to be. After I composed myself I glanced back at them and when I saw Marco blushing I made my way over.

"Relax Marco, take the compliment." She laughed.

She was so much different than the last time I saw her, she's more approachable today. When I saw her smile earlier it caught me so off guard that I swear my heart stopped beating for a second.

"What compliment?" I asked, knocking back a swig of my beer, knowing that freckled fuck doesn't blush when just anyone complimented him. Only when it's someone he's interested in.

"I just told him he was cute, that's all." She shrugged. 

So she's into him too... Wait, why the hell do I care?  She's a bitch anyway, that's Marco's problem. "Jeez, and I thought _you_ were the third wheel tonight. " I elbow her side, trying to brush it off.

 


	4. He Definitely Rehearsed

- **Jean** -

"So when are you asking the angry girl out?" I slipped the question that's been burning in my god damn mind all day into our conversation at lunch. Marco looked up from his sandwich, amusement present in his eyes, "Why, are you interested?"

I scowled, "In that bitch? No way."

"Didn't seem that way yesterday."  Not this shit again. "Like I'd ever date someone like her. So not my type."

He hummed, "I suppose you do normally go for blondes...specifically dumb ones." I sported a boyish grin and shrugged sheepishly. "Except Mikasa. You were into her for a while if I remember correctly."

"Shut it." I nearly growled, not wanting to even think about that fucking beautiful woman on the arm of that asshole Jaeger.

"Well anyway to answer your original question, I'm probably going to ask Hannah out this weekend."

"Where you going to take her?" I tried not to sound too interested but for whatever reason, I just needed to know. "Not sure. Going to text Eren and see what she's into."

"Cool." He raised a suspicious eyebrow at me but didn't say another word as we both scarfed down our lunches and got back to work.

**-Marco-**

I'm not convinced that Jean's uninterested in Hannah. We were talking about video games and then out of the blue he asked if I'm going to ask her out?He's clearly been thinking about her, but if he says he's not interested I'm not going to push it. I thought they would've hit it off but I guess they're too similar.

Still, I've been into Hannah since I met her at the bus stop, even if she could be a little stand offish at times. It's clear from last night that once she feels comfortable she's actually quite charming, especially when she smiles.

Maybe it's because she only smiles when she feels something, not just on reflex like the rest of us usually do to be polite. Which then makes her smiles much more meaningful, a reward earned for having made her happy in a fleeting moment.

 **Marco**  
Hey Eren, where do you think Hannah would want to go on a date?

 **Eren**  
Marco! That's awesome!!!!

 **Marco**  
I haven't asked yet, so don't get too excited. Chances are she'll say no. Suggestions?

 **Eren**  
There's a carnival in town this weekend, Hannah used to love going when we were kids.

 **Marco**  
Thanks man.

\- **Hannah** -

After work I headed home, thankful there were no other fucking recreational activities planned for tonight and that at least it's Friday and I can sleep in a bit tomorrow. Not that yesterday was horrible, it was actually kinda fun.

I made some pasta for dinner before feeding the cat, who was constantly weaving through my legs as I cooked. While I'm shoveling forkfuls of Alfredo into my piehole, my phone lit up and I pressed 'accept'.

"Hey Bus Guy, hold on." I mumbled with my mouth full. He chuckled and waited patiently as I finished chewing. "Sorry, didn't want you to think I was dodging your call or anything. That was probably pretty unattractive though."

"I'm glad you answered, I would've been disappointed if you hadn't." He admitted with a playful tone.

_Shit, is he flirting with me?_

"Well, you have my attention. What's up?" I replied curiously. "I heard the carnival is in town this weekend and wondered if you would want to go?" His voice was smooth and casual... suspiciously smooth and casual. Did he practice? _Holy shit that's fucking adorable._

I guess I was silent for too long because he then added, "A-as a date."

 _There's_ the nervousness I was expecting.   
"Sure. When?"

"Oh that's o- _wait_. You want to?" I burst out laughing, "Geez Marco, don't act so surprised. I'm not as huge of a bitch as everyone thinks."

My eyes squint as I winced, shouldn't have said that last part... "No one thinks your a bitch." He replied matter of factly.   
"Jean does."

"Well Jean doesn't know what he's talking about. So the date?" He changed the subject, thank god.  I smiled at the thought of it, "Yes, the date. When is this happening?"

"Tomorrow afternoon? I'll pick you up at one?"

"Sounds good, Bus Guy."

"Alright, text me your address. Bye, Angry Pretty Girl."

I chuckled, "Bye."

-

Somehow I'm looking forward to this, it's been a while since I've been on a date that wasn't forced upon me by Eren. My phone buzzed on the table and I glanced at it. Speak of the devil...

 **Cry Face**  
HANNY!!!!!!!!!

 **Hannah**  
Yes?

 **Cry Face**  
You're going on a date with Marco! I'm so proud of you!

 **Hannah**  
Christ Crispy, Eren. I'm going on a date not marrying the damn guy. Calm your tits.

 **Cry Face**   
First comes love, then comes marriage...

 **Hannah**  
Fuck off.

Ugh, great. So Eren knows. Maybe he'll stop pestering me...or maybe he'll pester me more. I groaned in annoyance and get up to do some cleaning before flopping on my bed with a book and letting my legs tangle off the end of my mattress.

A few hours later I put the novel down on my night stand and my phone went off again, leaving me to wonder who the hell would be texting me this late.

 **Bus Guy**   
Sweet dreams

 **Hannah**  
Night

After texting Marco back, I set down my phone and shut off the lights, climbing back into my bed and under the covers. Tuna jumped up and stepped on my chest, trying to make herself comfortable. She laid down but a second later my frustration grew as she started circling around again, so I just picked her up and placed her beside me, scratching the back of her ears like she preferred before I drift off to sleep with a faint smile on my lips.

\--   
**-Jean-**

 **Bodt**  
Hey man, she said yes to the date!

 **Kirstein**  
Really?

 **Bodt**  
I was surprised too, but I'm looking forward to it! Just gotta get her out of her shell and smiling again like at the pool hall.

 **Kirstein**  
Good luck with the ice queen.

 **Bodt**  
I'm taking her to the carnival, Eren said she loves those. I'm sure it'll be lots of fun.

 **Kirstein**  
That's not a bad idea, maybe I'll ask Christa to come with.

 **Bodt**  
Uh, it's a date Jean. You're not invited this time.

 **Kirstein**  
Like hell I'm not. It'll be a double date then, deal with it you freckled fuck.

 


	5. A Slight Change of Plans

**-Hannah-**

Even after being woken up by Tuna kneading my head, I was in a surprisingly good mood. I fed the cat and then made a pot of coffee while perusing Twitter for pictures of cute baby animals and ridiculous memes.

 **Bus Guy**   
Morning! Still on for this afternoon?

 **Hannah**   
Morning, Sunshine. Yup still on.

 **Bus Guy**   
Good cause uh, there's a slight change of plans...

 **Hannah**   
Go on...

 **Bus Guy**   
Soooooo it turns out its going to be a double date.

 **Hannah**   
Oh... with who?

 **Bus Guy**   
Jean and his date Christa.

 **Bus Guy**   
I'd understand if you didn't want to go...

 **Hannah**   
Pfft. We can just ditch 'em if they get weird, Freckles.

 **Bus Guy**   
PHEW. See you later!

Okay, _now_ my mood isn't super great, I won't let Jean ruin anything though. Plus, he'll be busy with Christa or whoever so he won't be up our asses the whole time.

I downed the pot of coffee quicker than I probably should've and ate some breakfast before hopping in the shower and getting dressed.

I picked out a pair of black skinny jeans with a slim fitting crimson red deep vee neck t-shirt, keeping it casual since we're going to be out walking around all afternoon. I played with my hair in the mirror, holding it up loosely around the top of my head to see if I want to put it up or not. I decided to just leave it down and bring a hair tie in case I changed my mind or something.

Barely a minute later there's a knock at my door. When I opened it up there's Marco's trademark blindingly bright smile, holding three sunflowers tied together with a yellow ribbon. "Hey, Hannah."

I smiled back. He suddenly became a bit nervous and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand as he held out the beautiful flowers towards me.

"These are, um, for you."

I took them from him and clasped his hand in mine, pulling him inside. As soon as the door shut behind him, I raise myself up on my tip toes and placed a kiss on his sun-kissed cheek.

"You're so sweet, Freckles. Thank you."

His face heated up instantly, "I'm glad you like them."

My smile grew as I walked over to a cupboard and pulled out a vase, filling it with water. As I arranged them in the vase, I admire the softness of their petals. "Sunflowers are my favorite, actually. So you choose perfectly. "

I glanced up at him and he was smiling ear to ear, a moment later his smile faded as he sighed, "We should get going before Jean starts laying on the horn."

I nodded silently, impressed and flattered that Marco was this thoughtful. Thinking of it had a light blush radiating from my cheeks. Following Marco's lead, I hopped into the backseat of Jeans beat up Pontiac Sunfire.

"Finally." Jean grumbles and his date swats his arm playfully. "Jean, be nice." Her delicate voice chided before she turned around and smiled politely. "Hi, I'm Christa!"

"Hannah." I reply simply with a nod, not really wanting to interact with her much as I see straight through her fake ass smile. I watched as Jean rolled his eyes at me in the rearview mirror but chose to ignore it and turned to look out the window. Marco makes small talk with everyone for a while before sliding his hand on top of mine, squeezing it gently.

My eyes widened at his unexpected touch but I soon relaxed, exhaling the breath I was holding in as I enjoyed the soothing warmth of his skin.

Once we get to the carnival and Jean parked the car, the first thing out of his mouth is: "Let's go on The Drop of Doom!"

He lifted an arm to point at the tallest tower in the park, I could already see a group of people in seats going up and then screaming as they quickly plummeted to the ground.

Christa piped up, "Um, maybe we could try a different one?" Her effortless smile seemed to convince Jean enough to look around at other rides, but now I was intrigued. I raised an eyebrow at Marco and he shrugged, "I will if you will."

Picking up his hand, I started pulling him towards the metal death trap. "Okay, see you guys later." I called out as I started running with my date through the crowd of people and away from Little Miss Perfect and Jean.

I glanced back at Marco with a grin but my hair flew into my face so I turned back around. I released his hand as we approached the relatively short line but he quickly scooped it back up, lacing his fingers with my own and making my heartbeat quicken.

"You nervous?" He asked, his cheeks pink from running just highlighted his freckles more, distracting me from his question. BAgainst my better judgement I lifted my free hand to cup his cheek, letting my thumb and my gaze wander over his soft skin.

"My mom had freckles too. When I was little I used to call them sun kisses." I mumbled with a soft smile before letting my hand fall back to my side again.

Marco gave my hand a gentle squeeze, "Sun kisses, I've never heard that before."

I leaned my head against his shoulder, suddenly feeling much more comfortable with him than I ever would've thought.

Maybe it's just the memory of my mother that softened my heart today, or maybe it's just his kind and thoughtful personality. Either way, I'm enjoying my day with Marco.

- **Jean** -

Christa won't shut the fuck up. God, I forgot she could be a chatterbox when she wanted. The girl's hot, but she's obviously clueless to the people around her.

We're waiting in line because apparently the Ferris Wheel is the only thing she's interested in going on. Why agree to go to a carnival if you're not going to go on any rides? Why did I even bother to bring her?

Then I see them. I see _her_. Walking hand in hand with Marco, huge smiles plastered on both their faces as Hannah points out different rides that she wants to try.

A scowl pulled down my lips, how could she be so cold when she met me and now be a charming ray of god damn sunshine? Seeing her laugh with Marco just pisses me off, she should be laughing with me. It should've been me she thought was cute at the pool hall. _UGH_. Why am I so hung up over this chick I barely know!?

Christa tugged at my sleeve, "Jean?" She asked. I hummed in response.

"Did I do something to upset you?" I glanced back at her, putting on a fake smile, "Nah, don't worry sweet cheeks."

"Great!" Christa linked her arm within mine, pulling me slightly closer to her as she used her other hand to tuck a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

When we got onto the ferris wheel, I looked down at the crowd, trying to find the couple while Christa blabbered on about her friend Ymir. Suddenly her chirping stopped and she pointed to the tilt-a-whirls, "Ooh! There's Marco and Hannah!"

My eyes locked onto Hannah's figure as she gripped the large metal wheel inside their split bucket-like enclosure. Her hair was wild and in her face, only her bright smile shone through her brown locks, although I'm sure her emerald eyes were lively and bright. Hannah was squished into Marco's side, he also was sporting a grin as she maneuvered them in as many circles as possible.

I let out a sigh unintentionally and the blonde beside me noticed, "You like her, don't you?" My eyes widenend and I turn to face her, "No way, she's a bitch."

"Then why do you keep staring at her? I'm not mad or anything, but I'm not stupid Jean."

"I'm just making sure Marco's okay, that she's not giving him the cold shoulder."   
Christa sighed in defeat and rested a hand on my forearm, "If you say so."

I leaned over and captured her lips in a kiss that was slightly more aggressive than I meant it to be, "You're the one I want, Blondie." I smiled against her lips, hoping to convince myself rather than convince her yet I can't help but wonder how it would feel if they were Hannah's lips...

** -Hannah- **

After going on at least twenty rides and eating some hotdogs from a booth, we sat on top of a picnic table near the food stalls, watching the sunset gently fade the afternoon glow to prepare for the cool shades of the evening sky.

My gaze caught Marco's and he spoke up, "You know, I'm really glad you said yes to coming out today Hannah."

Although his usual bright smile is always genuine, the soft closed lip smile he now sported captured my heart even more. "Me too, I've had a great day with you." I returned his smile with a gentle one of my own.

He picked up our intertwined hands and put them in his free hand, encasing mine in both of his as he let his thumb trace gentle circles on my soft flesh.

I breathed out a content sigh as I leaned my head against his shoulder in an effort to be closer to him. Marco shimmied closer to me, unwilling to part our hands and placed a kiss on the top of my head before resting his on top.

" _Uuuugh_." Jean came up behind us with a groan, then started making vomit sounds. Marco breathed out before addressing his friend. "Hey, Jean."

"God you two are gross, cut it out."

I could practically hear his eyeroll from here.  I looked over my shoulder at him, he'd taken a seat on the other side of the bench, facing away from us. "You don't have to be an ass about it, Jean." I grumbled.

He jumped up and stood in front of me, " _I_ don't have to be an ass!? I'm not the one fawning all over my date like a school girl with a crush!"

My eyebrows furrowed and just as I'm about to reply, Marco does instead. "Jean, what the fuck man?"

"What? It's true." He sneered. Christa approached Jean, having come back from the bathroom. She saw that Jean was worked up and placed her hand gently on his arm. The angry horse faced man shook her hand off and scoffed, causing the blonde to walk away dejected and sit on the other side of the table.

I smile sadly at Marco before pulling away, not wanting to make the situation any worse.

"Jean." I called out in a calm voice, bringing his attention to me. "Relax, I'll keep my hands to myself, okay? I know you're worried about Marco." I held up my hands, palms facing him for a moment before folding them in my lap.

"Tch. Whatever."

** -Marco- **

What the hell was that? Jean's never been that rude to girls I've dated.. maybe he and Christa had an argument and that put him in a bad mood? I know it's not him being protective over me since it's never been an issue before.

I hope Hannah's not upset, I am grateful that she handled him quite well though. Honestly, I'm grateful of pretty much everything she's done today and I think other than Jean's outburst, this has been the best date I've been on.

Hannah's features had lit up like a Christmas tree, I hadn't realized she enjoyed carnivals this much but I couldn't help but let the enthusiasm she had rub off on me.

Her laugh was intoxicating, her smile radiant, and her touch warm. I couldn't stop smiling when I looked at her, she just inspired so much joy in me that I couldn't help it. Although I wouldn't want to even if I could.

The drive home was rather quiet, the only sounds being the hum of the engine and the low music from the radio. When we pulled up to Hannah's place she opened her car door and smiled sweetly at me.  "Jean, do you mind waiting a few minutes?  I just want to walk Hannah to her door."

"Whatever. Just be quick." I slid out after her, following her lead into the building and up the stairs to her apartment door.

"I'm sorry about Jean." I apologized quietly. She leaned her back against her door to face me and shrugged, "No need to apologize, you can't control him."

My lips curled up in a slight smile, glad that she's so understanding. "Could I take you out again some time? _Without_ Jean.."

She let out a breathy laugh, "Yeah, I'd like that."

The smile she flashed me reached up to her sage colored eyes, entrancing me. Hannah held my gaze for a long moment before her eyes flickered to my lips and back up. She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and I couldn't help but feel the need to kiss her.

I studied her eyes for a moment longer before shifting closer to her, lessening the gap between us and resting my forehead against hers.

"Would it be okay if I kissed you?" I spoke softly. She nodded her head the slightest bit and I finally tore my eyes away from hers. My eyes closed as I tilted my head and pressed my lips against hers.

Hannah opened the door behind her as she pulled away from my kiss with a soft smile. "Thanks, Freckles." She whispered before placing her plump lips on my cheek and disappearing behind the door.

I stood there for a moment, slightly dazed, before I returned to the car. Jean didn't say anything, he just started driving away to Christa's.

When he parked outside he muttered a goodbye and when she leaned in to kiss him, he backed away. I saw the pained expression on her face but stayed silent until her door closed behind her.

I hopped between the two front seats and over the center console to sit shotgun, "So are you going to tell me what happened or am I going to have to force it out of you?"

Jean ran a hand through his hair before banging it on the steering wheel. "God, I hate her so much!"

I tilted my head, "Christa?"

"Hannah. She just gets on my fucking nerves!"

"Did something happen? You guys barely spoke today..."

He pulled the car out onto the road again and was quiet for a while. "She just pisses me off. Let the bitch stick with Jaeger."

"I really like her Jean. I'm not going to just write her off because her mere presence annoys you, she hasn't done anything wrong." I defended, Jean can't just dictate who I am and am not allowed to see.

"Whatever. Leave me out of it, I don't want to hear about her anymore."

 


	6. The Second Date That Wasn't

** -Hannah- **

I leaned against my door after I entered the apartment, trying to calm my racing heart. How is it that Marco's so sweet? How could someone like him possibly be interested in someone like me?

I fed Tuna and gave her lots of attention before I changed into my pyjamas and made a cup of tea to curl up in bed with. As I sat up in my bed scrolling through cat related memes, a text popped up.

**Bus Guy**  
Still up?

**Hannah**  
Yes?

**Bus Guy**  
Can I take you out for dinner tomorrow?

**Hannah**  
Hmm I'll have to think about it...

**Hannah**  
Yes.

**Bus Guy**  
I'll be there at 6. Goodnight, Beautiful.

**Hannah**  
Goodnight, Freckles.

\--

The next day passed by excruciatingly slow. The nervousness in my stomach wouldn't go away, along with the heaviness of my chest. I'm scared of being this close to someone again, of being vulnerable. Marco though, he seemed different... he's too kind to lead someone on that he's not interested in, and I genuinely don't believe him capable of cheating on me like fucking Reiner.

That asshat messed me up so badly. We met in college and ended up moving in together after graduating. I realized what a shit decision that was a few weeks later when he was stupid enough to accidentally text me instead of his piece on the side. To say it was a messy break up would be an understatement.

That's when my barriers went up. That's when I stopped going out, stopped talking to my friends, and decided maybe I just didn't need human interaction after all. I just wanted to disappear...I still do.

I don't think I could handle being deceived like that again, it would break me even more than I am now. It was easier to just play the role of a bitch than to be the carefree girl I once was.

**-Marco-**

**Kirstein**  
What are you up to later? Lets play PUBG.

**Bodt**  
Going out, sorry.

**Kirstein**  
What? I thought I was your only friend.

**Bodt**  
You know you're not. If you must know, I'm taking Hannah out.

**Kirstein**  
Again? For fuck sake Marco... She a fuckin' witch or something? How'd she trick you into that?

**Bodt**  
Yes, again. I'm really into her, can you just stop being a dick for once and be happy I actually found someone I enjoy spending time with?

**Kirstein**  
It's your funeral.

-

Shaking off Jean's bad vibes, I head out to the coffee shop where Eren and I had plans to meet up during the day today.

He sat at a table by himself and gave me a slight wave when he noticed me. I headed to the counter and ordered a coffee before joining him.

Immediately he raised an inquisitive eyebrow, "So how'd the date go?"

I chuckled, "Ah, so this is the only reason you wanted to catch up, Jaeger?"

He shrugged, "Pretty much, yeah. I know Hannah wouldn't tell me even if paid her so you're the next best option. Plus there are a few things you need to know."

Now I'm the intrigued one. "What do you mean?"

Eren took a slow sip of his drink, setting it down before repeating, "So how'd the date go?"

"Well, aside from Jean it went well."

"Jean went on your date? So it wasn't _really_ a date then, Marco." He sighed as he rolled his eyes and let his shoulders fall.

"Jean invited himself and Christa to tag along... then he just got really weird? I don't know how to explain it. Before that happened Hannah and I had a lot of fun."

Eren hummed with a slight frown, "Fucking Jean."

I let out a breathy laugh, "Oh well. It didn't ruin anything. We're going out again tonight, just the two of us."

He perked up, straightening his back. "Really? You asked already?"

"Yup."

"That's awesome, man! I knew you'd be able to get through to her." He grinned proudly.

"So what did you mean when you said there are things I should know?" It's hard to hide my curiosity as well as my concern.

Eren cleared his throat, looking down into his mug silently for a minute. "Do you remember Reiner?"

"Tall, blonde, burly guy?" I questioned, having a fuzzy mental image of someone I once knew of.

He nodded, "He and Hannah had dated all throughout college. She was completely and utterly devoted to him. They had even talked about getting married down the line... "

I pursed my lips, already not enjoying where this is going. "Okay..."

"After college, they moved in together. To say she was happy would be an understatement. Turned out he had been cheating on her almost the entire relationship. _Years_ , Marco."

"Shit. I can't imagine how that would feel." _You think you know someone_...

"She pushed everyone away. Mikasa, Armin, and I were the only ones who kept trying to get through to her and eventually she accepted that we weren't going anywhere. Over the past few years, we've tried to help her make friends and meet people but she's never been interested in making any effort. So for her to hang out with you and Jean this past week is a _huge_ deal."

I took a sip of my coffee, letting the warmth of it help me process the information given. While I was glad Eren felt he could share this with me, I can't help but think that she wouldn't be pleased to know he had.

I shot Eren a friendly smile, "Well, I'm glad that she feels comfortable around me, I enjoy her company."

His green eyes narrowed slightly, "Don't you dare pull any shit with her. Don't lead her on if you're not interested."

I held up my hands in front of me, "Whoa, dude. First of all, I'm not a jerk so I wouldn't intentionally hurt Hannah. Secondly, if I wasn't interested I wouldn't have asked her out on a date, let alone a second."

He grinned, "So what's the plan for tonight, loverboy?"

**-Hannah-**

I'm not sure where we're going, which made choosing an outfit fucking difficult. I sighed as I went through my closet, hangers scraped against the metal bar they clung to as I assessed my options.

When my eyes landed on a simple forest green dress I knew it was what I was wearing tonight. It's a simple scoop neck with a fitted bodice that flows out at the hips and lands just above the knee. I paired it with dark brown heels and tossed my hair up in a messy bun, letting a few strands fall around my face to frame it before I put on minimal makeup.

I opened the door when I hear his knock, motioning with a grand gesture for him to come in. My lips curled up into a smile as I enjoyed the sight of him dressed up in dark wash jeans, a charcoal grey button-up, and a navy blazer.

"You look nice." I greeted, finally letting my eyes meet his light brown ones.

His cheeks were dusted with a slight pink, " _Wow_." He breathes out.

I shifted my gaze to the floor and fidgeted awkwardly on the spot, "Is it too much? I wasn't sure where we're going so I can change..?"

"Don't be silly, you look incredible Hannah. I wouldn't change a thing about you even if I could."

My eyes snapped to his, the gentle expression in them has me believing him. Fuck, how is he so sweet? How had I not met him sooner?

I kissed his cheek, "Thanks, Freckles. You're too sweet."

Marco smiled and laced his fingers with mine, giving a squeeze. "Ready?"

The hesitation I normally would've felt wasn't there. Somehow over the past week I've grown to trust the man in front of me, something I never thought I'd be capable of again, and definitely not this quickly.

It scared the shit out of me. I glanced up at Marco, his kind eyes set on mine reassured me that I was making the right choice.

"Yeah, let's get out of here."

-

Marco led me to his dirty red pick-up truck and opened up the passenger side door for me. I smiled as a thank you and he quickly jogged around to the other side of the vehicle and hopped in.

"I didn't think you'd be a truck kinda guy." I noted but Marco just shrugged.

"I bought it off my dad once I started college. It gets the job done so I don't really think much of it."

A low hum escaped from my lips, but I didn't realize it made Marco feel self-conscious.

"I-I eventually plan on getting something else though..."

I giggled, "Don't be embarrassed, I don't even have a vehicle. Honestly, I figured you didn't either since we were taking the same bus when we met."

"Ah, yeah that day the truck wouldn't start..."

With such a simple coincidence, I remembered the words my mother had once spoken to me. _'It happens accidentally, in a single_ _moment_.'

Marco looked over at me and took hold of my hand once again. I couldn't help but smile up at him as an overwhelming fondness of him spread through me like wildfire.

"So kind of like fate that we met then, huh?"

He lit up with the sweetest spark in his eyes, "I thought so too. Then when it was you that Eren had brought to lunch, it just solidified my theory as fact."

Marco leaned over and kissed my cheek, and that's when it happened. Everything went black and my life was forever changed.

 


	7. Before She Awakens

**-Jean-**

My phone buzzes next to me, an incoming call from Marco.  "Hey man, she ditch you ready?" Sniffles and steady beeps are all that I hear in response.   
"H-hello?"

 "Jean it's Marco's mother." She takes a deep breath before continuing, "There's been an accident. You should come say goodbye."   

My heart drops through my feet down to the floor, "What do you mean say goodbye?"

"Jean... is your mother around?" Her meek voice asks.

"Y-yeah I'll go grab her for you Mrs. Bodt."

I take the stairs two at a time until I reach my mom who's lounging on the couch, and hand the phone out to her.

She takes it with a questioning look before lifting it up to her ear, "Hello?"

I rush back up to my room to throw on a hoodie and grab my car keys. Before I have a chance to rush out the door, mom grabs my arm. "I'm driving, Jean."

"Fine. We're leaving now, let's go."  She throws on her jacket over her housecoat and pyjama pants and slips on her shoes as I open the door and rush to her car.

On the drive there, my mind is racing. What the fuck happened? I have to say goodbye? He's my best fucking friend, he can't leave me! I need him!   For fuck sake, we've been through everything together!

My breaths get faster and more shallow, white and black specks start to cloud my vision as I continue panicking.

"Jean." My mother calls out, placing a hand on my shoulder and squeezing it.

"Breathe."

"HOW CAN I FUCKING BREATHE WHEN HE CANT?!"

 She doesn't reply, letting only the sound of our breathing fill the silence of the car. The engine halts and we make our way through the building, mom leading the way. She knocks quietly on a door and Mrs.Bodt opens it, giving me a sad smile.

"Jean we'll wait out here." She advises.

I walk slowly into the room, the sound of a breathing machine and a heart monitor fill my ears. I stand in front of Marco's bed, completely shocked with the sight in front of me.

His face is mangled and bleeding, what's visible of it that is. Large white bandages stained with crimson wrap around most of his head and face leaving gaps for his eyes as well as around his nose and mouth for the breathing apparatus. His blanket is pulled all the way up to his chin, saving me from what horrors lurk underneath.

After what feels like hours I move to the chair by his side, "I don't even know what to say, man." 

I drop my head into my hands, lifting one to pull at my hair.

" _I told you not to go.._ " my voice whispers out before the desperation kicks in, "You can't leave me, damn it!!"

Once again a hand is placed on my shoulder and I shake it off. "Jean, we need your help with something." Her voice is quiet, an attempt to be soothing but it just grinds my fucking gears.

"I'm not fucking leaving."

"You can stay, honey. We just need to know about the girl he was with." My eyes widen, _Hannah_. "What about her?"

"The paramedics found her phone surprisingly intact in her purse, but there are no parental names in her contacts, we're not sure who to call.."

"How the fuck should I know?" I growl. I shouldn't even bother thinking about her right now. She's the last person I want to be thinking about, Marco's fucking dying!

My mom pries my hands away from my face as another set of hands places a phone with a small crack in the screen into them. I look up at Mrs.Bodt, her puffy bloodshot eyes search mine.

"Please take a look to see if you recognize anyone, Jean. Marco would want us to take care of his friend." She smiles sadly at me as more tears fall from her eyes.

She's right, Marco would tell me to help. I sigh and scroll through the contacts on her phone. The idiot put everyone under a nickname for fuck sake, it's like decoding a god damn secret language!

I scroll back up to the beginning and try again, _Bus Guy_. I click on the contact to view the number, confirming it's Marco's cell. I return to the previous screen and another stands out to me, _Cry Face_. If that's not fuckin' Jaeger I would be surprised.

I press the small green phone icon next to the contact name, bringing the device to my ear.  "Hanny! How's the date?!"

 I clear my throat, "Jaeger, it's Jean. Does Hannah have any family you can contact to come to the hospital?"

His voice becomes frantic, "Hospital?! What room is she in? What happened?!"

 I just hold the phone out to Mrs.Bodt, I don't know any of the information and I can't fucking handle that asshole right now.

-

The next morning Mrs. Bodt shakes me awake in the waiting room. I straighten up and face her, immediately knowing what happened just by her empty expression.

The blank void where her once expressive and kind eyes were, now cold and distant. I cling to her, clawing fistfuls of her sweater as I sob, knowing my best friend is gone.

She rubs my back in an attempt to soothe me. "Jean?"

"What?" My voice comes out as a whisper.

"Who was Hannah to Marco? He.. he didn't tell me about her." She sniffles, trying to keep her composure.

I release her from my grip and slouch down in my seat, staring forward at the crisp white wall in front of me, "A friend I guess. It was their second date."

"S-so he cared for her." She squeaks out.

"Yes." She picks up my hand and squeezes it lightly, "Jean can you check on her for me? I-I just can't. But I know he would want one of us there for her."

I look up to the ceiling, not because I think Marco's above _'watching over us'_ or some shit like that, but because I can't think of another place to look to talk to him.

"You owe me one, you freckled fuck." I mumble with a sigh before glancing back at his mother's painfully blank face.

"Where is she?"

-

The room is empty except for the girl. I don't know why I'm surprised Jaeger's not here, he probably would be a shitty fucking friend.

I take the uncomfortable looking empty chair beside Hannah's bed as I study her condition. Her brown hair is matted down in some places and sticking up in others, with gauzy bandages that look like they're due to be changed wrapped around her forehead a few times.

Her face is bloody and bruised, her left eye swollen shut. Both Hannah's arms rest above the white hospital sheet that covers the rest of her, leaving her left arm cast visible.

She doesn't have any breathing tubes for some reason, but the steady rise and fall of her chest along with the constant beep of the heart monitor give some peace of mind in that regard.

I walk over to the nurse's station and clear my throat to get someone's attention. A nurse with greying hair and tired eyes looks up at me in annoyance, "What?" She asks. 

"When was the last time someone was in to change the bandages for the patient in C204?"

She grumbles and looks through a few file folders until finding the right one.

"When she was brought to this ward last night."

"Her bandages need to be changed again."

She sighs, "We'll get to her when we get to her."

I narrow my eyes at her, "This is a _hospital_. Get your lazy ass up and change the bandages she's bleeding through!"

The woman glares at me but I don't back down. Finally she grumbles and gets up from her chair and I follow her to Hannah's room, making sure she actually fucking does something.

I cringe when she takes off the gauze, getting a look at the part of her scalp that was shaved and the line of stitches caked with blood along with the other small lacerations that were too minor to get stitched up but still slowly dripping with red liquid.

The nurse re-wraps her head and fills a syringe with a liquid I can only imagine is a painkiller, sticking it into the vein on the inside of her good arm and goes to leave.

"Are you not going to clear the blood off of her face?" She opens a closet door and tosses a cloth at me, "She doesn't have any broken bones in her face, just small scrapes and severe bruising. Wet the cloth and be gentle."

The fucking bitch then leaves the room. "For fuck sake." Why become a nurse if you don't give a shit?

I follow her instructions and lightly dab her skin, noticing her pained expression as I do so.

"Don't make that stupid face." I mumble to her, not sure if she can even hear me.   

 


	8. Because Of Me

**-Jean-**

I grabbed Hannah's phone and get Jaeger's number to send him a text, putting his contact name under the same as in hers since it's pretty accurate.

 **Jean**  
Why the fuck aren't you here?

 **Cry Face**  
I had to leave early this morning for work. Coming back afterward.

 **Jean**  
Some fucking friend you are.   
You want her to wake up alone?   
You're pathetic.

 **Cry Face**  
You think I don't want to fucking be there? Fuck you, Jean. You don't know shit.

-

For the first time, I didn't bother fighting with that asshat. I just didn't have the energy.

I laid my head back and cursed as it hit against the wall. Why aren't her parents here? Why isn't anyone else here? Why is it just fucking me? I barely know her! I'm only here for Marco for fuck sake.

After a while of being slumped in the chair beside her, I fell asleep. I woke up to the sound of voices, immediately becoming annoyed as I heard the cry baby talking to her.

"She can't fucking hear you, Jaeger." I mumbled.

"You don't know that." He quickly defended.

"Even if she could, you think she'd want to hear about your day at the office?" My sarcastic quip earned me a glare to which I just rolled my eyes.

"Why are you even here?" He asked, his voice quieter.

"Marco's mom asked me to. He'd want someone to be here."

The idiot nodded simply, "Well I'm here now. You can leave."

"And what? Go home to drive myself crazy? I might as well stay..." I let out a breath, "Marco would have."

An hour of silence passed before I broke it, "Eren, why isn't anyone else here? Where's her family?"

A low, drawn-out breath escaped from him. "Both her parents were only children, as is she. Her mom passed a few years back. Her dad a year later. We were neighbors and grew up together. "

-

The days passed slowly, my mom and dad stopped by before and after work with food and to try to convince me to go home. My dad stayed silent, just gripping my shoulder in a silent show of support, not knowing what to say.

For whatever reason I justified staying in this room, waiting for her to wake up. Even though we're obviously not close in any sense of the word, she was the closest thing I have to him.

I still couldn't believe he was gone. We were supposed to be there for each other and now I'm just... _alone_. Utterly and completely alone.

I know my parents are here but it's not the same. The bond Marco and I have... _h_ _ad_...is something I'll never experience again. I trusted him, I relied on him, he was my brother. I'll never see his god damn dumbass smile ever again. He won't be there to tell me when I'm being an asshole, which was most of the time anyway, but somehow that never stopped him from being my friend.

When I think back to the last conversation I had with him my eyes stung with tears that I couldn't control. _'It's your funeral.'_

I banged my head against the wall behind my chair. I'll never be able to take that back. My last words to my best fucking friend were about him dying. The burning guilt set my chest ablaze, _I'm such an asshole._

I glanced at her hand that was resting on her bed next to me and with a sigh I placed mine on top of it, providing warmth to her cold skin.

He would want me to be here for her, he would probably give me one of his patented disappointed looks if I refused, knowing I'd eventually cave. So I stayed here, next to the last person who saw him alive, next to the girl he defended to me.

 

**_-_ Hannah-** _  
_

_"So kind of like fate that we met then, huh?"_

_He lights up with the sweetest spark in his eyes, "I thought so too. Then when it was you that Eren had brought to lunch, it just solidified my theory as fact."_

_Marco leans over and kisses my cheek, and that's when it happened. Everything went black and my life changed forever."_

I heard steady beeping next to me but struggled to open my eyes. One of my arms felt heavy and the hand of the opposite arm felt oddly warm and clammy. My fingers gripped onto the warmth and a weight lifted off of the bed I was laying in.

"Hannah?!" The voice came out panicked, "Hannah, can you hear me?"

I tried as hard as I could to squeeze what I now realized was a hand underneath mine. My body finally allowed my eyes to flutter open. I blinked away until the blurry image in front of me became clear and my gaze landed on someone I hadn't expected.

"J-Jean?"

"Hey, Hannah." He smiled lightly. "Stay here, I need to get a nurse."

"I dd-don't think I could go if I w-wanted to." My words stumbled out hoarsely.

He smirked, "Smartass."

Jean slipped out the door and came back a moment later with a short red-haired woman who took my vitals as he stood anxiously out of the way, but his eyes didn't leave mine.

The woman took notes on her clipboard before smiling at me, "The doctor will be in later this afternoon."

"Thank you," Jean said quietly, the woman nodded.

He rushed back to sit on the side of my bed, taking hold of my hand once again.

"What happened?" I asked Jean.

He pursed his lips and his eyebrows knitted together, "Do you remember anything?" My eyes closed as I thought back, remembering Marco's soft lips on my skin and then... nothing?

"Jean, where's Marco?" He squeezed my hand and just stared at me, turning to face the wall in an effort to hide the emotion on his face.

"Jean, wh-where's Marco?" The tremor in my voice obvious as his silence spoke volumes. Tears began welling in my eyes as my chest began to feel as if the weight of one thousand bricks had been added to it.

"H-he didn't make it." Jean choked out before breaking down into sobs, collapsing into the seat beside my bed with his face in his hands. The water in my eyes spilled over the brim and wet my cheeks. I tried to sit up but failed miserably as my back ached in a blinding pain I'd never experienced before.

_It should've been me._

I heard the door creak open and a tall woman with greying hair came into view. "Jean?" She called out softly before her eyes laid upon the scene in front of her.

I smiled sadly at the woman and she walked up to Jean, rubbing slow circles on his back with her palm. "Jean you need to eat something, dear." She instructed, from her caring nature I assume it was his mother.

"I'm fine, Jean. You need to take care of yourself."

He placed his warm hand on top of mine after pulling it away from his moist cheeks. His gaze lifted slowly to meet mine once again, this time the pain within them very apparent. He sighed, "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Jean left the room with a final glance before his mother took the chair beside my bed. I took a deep breath to tried to compose myself; the scent of bleach and stale air burned my nostrils.

"Mrs. Kirstein?" She nodded before hesitantly placing her hand on top of mine.

"Can you tell me what happened? I only know that Marco..." I trailed off, not daring to meet her eyes.

She breathed in deeply and squeezed my hand. "I suppose he wasn't paying full attention to the road... he ran a red light and the driver's side of the truck was hit after entering the intersection with enough force that the vehicle was flipped on its roof."

"It's my fault," I whispered, the familiar weight of guilt and regret building up in my heart every second.

The image of his radiant smile burned into my mind, showing itself to me with every blink.

She leaned up to brush my hair out of my face."Sweetheart... it's not your fault."

"I distracted him. It- it's my fault." I whimpered, "He died b-because of me... It- it should've been me."

Mrs. Kirstein took my face in both of her hands, "Hannah, please look at me."

Her voice was soft yet stern, a motherly tone I hadn't heard in ages. My eyes slowly traveled up to her face, making note of the graceful fine lines that define her features as well as her tired eyes.

"You listen and you listen well, Hannah Watson. This is not your fault. None of this is on you. You _survived_. Marco wouldn't want you to blame yourself and you know that."

I couldn't help but sob, leaning my cheek against her hand to feel some sort of human contact.

"You have some good friends, you know that? They've all been taking shifts here so you wouldn't wake up alone. My son hasn't left your side all week, Hannah."

"Jean?" I breathily laughed and she nodded, lifting an inquisitive eyebrow. "I just thought he hated me, that's all... how long have I been here?"

Mrs. Kirstein patted my cheek before letting her hands rest on top of mine, squeezing gently. "Jean can be a handful, but he's a devoted friend. It's been six days since the accident, you suffered some head trauma as well as broke an arm, and have whiplash. It's really a miracle you're here with us, Hannah."

Jean slipped back in and his mother took a seat in the chair once again, letting her son sit beside me on the bed. I struggled to smile through my tears, "What did you have for lunch?"

He smiled sadly, "It's six am, dummy. I did have a sandwich though."

I let out a laugh, "Sorry for waking you up so early."

"Pfft, you better be." He teased. "I let Jaeger know. They'll be up as soon as they can."

Mrs. Kirstein stood up and leaned over, lightly placing her hand on my cheek and I leaned into her motherly touch once again. "I'll check in on you later, I've got to get going to work."

"Thank you, Mrs. Kirstein."

She smiled kindly, "I'll have Jean put my number in your phone. If you need anything please let me know, sweetheart." I nodded in response and she kissed the top of Jean's head before leaving.

Jean let out an exhausted sigh. I inspected his face, noticing the dark circles under his red eyes and his pale skin. "Your mom's really nice, Jean."

He smirked, "Yeah, yeah. Everyone loves her but they didn't have her nagging at them every day for years."

I sat silently, wishing my mom could've been here with me.

"Sorry." His voice was quiet, "Eren told me about your parents..."

I managed to shrug, "There's nothing I can do about it. After mom's aneurysm, my dad just...gave up. He wasn't the same. She was his world, you know? It was as if he died of a broken heart."

"Your dad had passed from a heart attack is what he said?"

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. "Yeah, about a year later, almost to the day."

Silence filled the room as we both became lost in our thoughts but I'm the first to speak. "How long has it been since you've slept, Jean?"

He scratched the top of his head, "A while. I take naps when the others are here."

"Jean you should go home and get some rest." He shook his head, "No."

I raised my hand to feel the gauze around my forehead, "Do I look like a mummy?"

"You look like shit, Hannah." I winced in pain as I shifted to one side of the bed, patting the now open spot.

"Then at least lay down and sleep, Jean."

His eyes widened slightly before exhaling heavily, "I'll just sleep here." Jean slouched down in his seat, resting his head back against the plastic cushion of the backrest and closing his eyes.

When I closed my eyes all I saw was Marco. Aside from the throbbing agony in my head and the sharp yet consistent stabbing pains in my back, I felt the ghost of Marco's kiss against the scrapes lining my cheek.

 _How could this happen?_ He was my light at the end of the tunnel... the first person I let myself begin to trust again. Even Eren said he was one of the best people he knew, the most reliable friend. Now I'll never get to hear his laugh again, never get to revel in his kiss, never get to truly know him... _and it's all my fault._

 


	9. Well, Thanks

**-Jean-**

I called Jaeger on my way back up to her room, and he answered groggily, "This better be fucking important, it's not even six am, asshole."

"Hannah's awake."

"We'll be there soon."

My phone beeped, signaling that the call had ended. Upon opening the door I found my mom and Hannah having a conversation that left her in tears. My mom noticed I was back and moved to the chair beside the bed, letting me sit beside the injured woman. It was hard to see her like this, hooked up to all these god damn machines, bruised and bloodied.

After mom left we talk a little about her parents... I hadn't known they were gone until I was trying to find numbers in Hannah's phone to call to let them know what happened, the only familiar numbers being Marco and Eren's.

After I refused to leave, Hannah moved over to one side of the bed, patting the open space next to her. "Then at least lay down and sleep, Jean."

The gesture took me by surprise, the more I thought about it the more sleeping on an actual bed became an appealing thought, but it just didn't feel right.

"I'll just sleep here."

So I slouched down in my seat, letting my head fall back against the shitty chairs worn out cushioned back and closed my eyes.

Sleep doesn't take me quickly and I sat here wishing that she was well, wishing that Marco was still here, and wondering what am I going to fucking do without him? A tear fell down my cheek at the thought, I have no idea what to do.

-

**-Hannah-**

I wake up to the sound of muffled laughter. Already annoyed, I squinted open my eyes to see Eren taking a god damn picture of Jean drooling in his sleep.

I glared at my childhood friend, "Fuck you, Eren."

"Yeah, fuck off Jaeger." Jean mumbled before his eyes shot open when he realized what's going on, wiping his face with his sleeve.

Eren walked over to Jean and slightly pushed his shoulder, "No no, don't let us interrupt your beauty sleep."

Jean scoffed, "Shut up."

I couldn't help but smile at the situation and Mikasa crossed her arms whilst lifting an eyebrow at me. I motioned for her to come closer, "This is probably the most normal thing that's happened in the past week."

She smirked, "You're right, Hannah."

After a quick visit Eren and Mikasa leave, they both still had to head into work. A heaviness in my chest remained and I took a breath to try and calm myself. Jean slouched back down in the seat beside me.

"What's on your mind?" He inquired, looking up at me with concern.

"I... I just wish Marco were here." Jean frowned, lifting a hand to rub his forehead, "Me too."

"You guys were best friends, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, since middle school. He saved me from a beating when I was telling off some dumb jock." My lips curled up slightly, "That sounds like you both for sure. He seemed to have kept you pretty grounded, huh."

"Something like that. He had a personality that was challenging not to like. He was a friend to everyone." Jean's voice became quieter as he reflected more on his time with his freckled friend.

"I wish I had gotten to know him better..." Unintentionally my voice came out as a whisper.

"He really liked you, you know," Jean admitted with an annoyed sigh. "He said that?"

"It was obvious, Hannah. But yes, he did. Even when I told him not to bother."

My eyebrows scrunched together as I turned my head to face Jean, wanting to look him in the eye. "You told him not to bother with me?"

Jean's face heated up, "Uh. Yeah... sorry."

"When?" I felt tears sting the brim of my eyes. I don't know why this surprised me so much, it wasn't really a secret that he didn't like me.

"A few times..."

I raised my hand to pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration, "When was the last time, Jean?"

He sharply inhaled, "Sunday morning." I tried to hold my composure as I gritted my teeth, "Please leave."

"Hannah." He breathed out.

"I'm fine. You've seen with your own eyes. You've done your good deed, now you can leave." My voice wavered but my tears didn't fall yet, they did blur my vision though.

"Please, just lis-"

"Jean." I cut him off sharply.

He rose from his chair with a dramatic sigh. Just before opening the door he called out, "I'm going to be in the waiting room. If you need anything the nurses know who I am and they can come to get me."

I just turned away from him, what's the point? He may have been here but that didn't mean he gave a shit. Clearly, he's just here because he felt guilty, I don't need his god damn pity.

-

Later on, when the doctor left, a nurse remained as she finished writing whatever report on her clipboard.

"Is your boyfriend this big of a pain in the ass all the time?" The woman asked.

I let out an uneven laugh, "He's not my boyfriend. Truthfully, I barely know the guy. He's an asshole though, but somewhere under that is a decent human... I think."

The woman chuckled, "I think you're right. He harassed us all the time to look after you. I'm relieved to see him in the waiting room for once, maybe we'll get some damn peace for a while." She hooked the clipboard back on the wall and left.

Eren, Mikasa, and Armin visited shortly after. "Hey Hanny, how are you feeling?" Armin asked, sitting on the side of my bed.

"Oh you know, like I got hit by a fucking car. Oh, wait..." I forced a smile, trying to cope with humor.

"Hannah, You shouldn't joke like that!" Armin scolded with a furrowed brow.

"Relax, you know asshole my default setting."

He sighed in defeat, giving me a sad smile. "I'm glad you're going to be okay."

I wish Marco was too...

"I brought you a book." Mikasa placed her copy of _A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius_ on the table beside my bed.

"Thanks, Mikasa... although I don't think you could've chosen a more depressing book."

The raven-haired beauty shrugged and Eren pipes up, "At least it might be something to keep your mind occupied."

I nodded, letting my eyes close as I began falling into the black hole that now controlled my brain, contorting my thoughts as I tried to fight the gravitational pull threatening to drown me in its nothingness.

-

When I woke up again, I heard snoring along with the incredibly obnoxious beeping of the monitor that I couldn't seem to tune out. I glanced over at Jean, his chair pulled closer to the bed as he was bent over with his head against an empty spot of my mattress, his hair a disheveled mess. My lips pursed in annoyance as I couldn't tear my eyes away from his knotted brown hair, trying to resist the urge to fix it. After a long few minutes and an exasperated breath, I lifted my hand to try and untangle it.

Jean grumbled and tilted his face toward me, furrowing his brow in confusion, "What the fuck are you doing?" His gruff sleepy voice questioned.

"The birds nest on top of your head was bugging me." I stated plainly, continuing to fix it even when he rolled his eyes. "Why did you stay?" My voice came out quieter than I expected, but I needed my assumptions to be confirmed.

"Marco would've kicked my ass if I didn't."

I hummed, "Would he have? He didn't seem like the type to me... I didn't know him very well, though." The knots in his hair were now gone, but I acted like they weren't, for whatever reason finding this somewhat soothing.

"You're right, he wasn't. He would've guilted me to no end though."

I could see that to be true, especially from what I've heard of him from Eren.

"Well, thanks, Jean. I'm grateful to have not woken up alone, even if you were only here for Marco." I slid my hand back into my lap and away from his surprisingly soft tresses, relieved that at least someone was looking out for me, even if it was out of respect for someone else.

 


	10. Obligations

**-Jean-**

Several days later the doctor discharged Hannah from the hospital as her bleeding was finally under control and she wasn't in as much pain.

My mom came into her room after having spoken with the nurses, "We have to leave by eleven. Hannah, I'd like you to come and stay with us for a while."

She shook her head, "Thank you, Mrs. Kirstein but I just want to be at home."

My mom pursed her lips, she's not used to not getting her way but it seemed she couldn't argue much with Hannah for some reason. "Fine, but I insist on taking a spare key."

Hannah grabbed her purse next to the bed and rifled through it to pull out her Bananya lanyard with several keys dangling off of the keyring. She pulled off the one duplicate key and handed it over to my mother, who looked satisfied enough and scraped the metal key onto her already full keychain.

Hannah grumbled and slumped back down into a laying position on her bed.

"What's wrong now?" I groaned in annoyance.

"I don't have anything to wear home." She muttered.

Mom walked to the closet and pulled out a small bag with sweats and a t-shirt, placing the folded clothes neatly on the foot of her bed. "I thought about that."

She smiled in relief, "Thank you."

I narrowed my eyes as I recognized the items, "Those are my clothes!"

Mom rolled her eyes, "Shut it, Jean. " Hannah smirked and stuck her tongue out. 

"You've got to change, Hannah. We don't have a lot of time."

She rubbed the back of her neck with a wince, "I-I think I'll need help."

**-Hannah-**

Mrs. Kirstein helped me out of my hospital gown and paused for a moment before letting out a shaky breath as I felt her eyes burn into the bruises on my back. My face went beet red as embarrassment flooded through my body, the fact that I was butt naked in front of someone I barely knew set in.

I heard her rustle plastic behind me and I glanced at her, "I figured you'd need a pair of these as well. I had to guess your size, I hope they fit."

Tears started to well up in my eyes, her kindness overwhelmed me in an instant. She noticed but didn't say anything as she motioned for me to step into the underwear and I pulled them up the rest of the way with my good arm, a grimace crossed my face as the stabbing pain in my back returned from the movement.

She grabbed Jean's sweats off of the bed and we repeated the process, folding up the waistband a few times so that I didn't trip on the excess material.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" My meek voice questioned as Mrs. Kirstein bunched up the T-shirt and slipped it over my neck, carefully threading my casted arm into the left sleeve and letting me do the right on my own as the fabric fell down loosely around me.

She took my right hand in both of hers, "If I was gone, I would hope someone would be there to take care of Jean in such a situation. I'm sure your mother would want the same."

Tears continued to silently streak my cheeks as the memory of my mom's bright, smiling face flashed before my eyes.

An annoyed voice called through the door, "Are you done yet or what?" Jean's mom rolled her eyes, "You can come in, Jean."

A light blush rose to his cheeks when he came back and Jean turned away. He picked up the clear bag the hospital provided that had my bloodied clothes and broken shoes inside and collected my purse as well.

"That's a good look for you, Jean. We should get you one of your own." I teased and his mom chuckled.

"Shut the fuck up, you're lucky I'm even driving you home." I nodded, "You're right. Thanks, Jean."

"Whatever. Let's go."

"I'll stop by later with some food, okay Hannah?"

"Thank you, Mrs. Kirstein."

"Call me Marie."

"Now that you've seen me naked, I suppose it's appropriate for us to be on a first-name basis."

I stood up and we slowly made our way through the hospital's bleak hallways before getting to the main entrance and allowing the large sliding doors open. The fresh air wrapped around me in an instant and sent a chill through my body. A sudden weight landed on my shoulders and I looked up at Jean, who stared down at me with a disgruntled face.

I pulled his sweater closed with my right hand, "Thank you." I mumbled and he started walking forward.

The sun was bright in the blue morning sky, I closed my eyes and stood still for a moment in an effort to try and feel the sun's rays.

"Hurry up, idiot." Jean called out and I frowned slightly before walking up to the passenger side door of his ancient Pontiac. I hesitated, should I really be riding in a car? What if there was another accident? Was Jean that reliable of a driver? I'd only been in a car with him once and to be honest I was quite distracted by Marco's presence.

I cursed as I tried to fight back tears once again at the thought of the handsome man and his sun-kissed cheeks.

Jean leaned over and opened the door a little, motioning me to get in. I slowly lowered myself down and clicked in the seat belt.

"Don't worry, I'll drive cautiously." Jean murmured in a surprisingly soft voice.

I didn't reply, just lowered my face away from the window and into the warmth of Jean's black hoodie, letting the subtle woodsy scent of his cologne invade my senses.

**-Jean-**

I noticed Hannah's hand shook as it hovered above the handle of the car door. I gave her a minute before I leaned over the center console and opened it for her. She painstakingly slowly sat down in the bucket seat and buckled herself in.

Hannah took a few deep breaths, looking lost in her thoughts. After the aftermath of her last time in a vehicle, I couldn't blame her for being wary. "Don't worry, I'll drive cautiously."

She buried her face into my sweater and I drove silently to her apartment.

I got her situated on the couch after she begrudgingly refused to lay in her bed before raiding her cupboards to find a glass. I filled it with cold water and poured two of the painkillers the doctor sent her home with into my hand, bringing it to her as she fought to reach the remote on her coffee table.

She sighed in defeat and propped herself up to take the pills and glass from me. I took the cup from her hand and placed it on the table before she grabbed the remote and lifted up her legs to sit on the other end of her couch, letting them rest in my lap. "You don't have to stay, Jean."

I didn't immediately respond. I felt an overwhelming obligation to make sure she was okay. It's what Marco would want, right? What if it's not what she wants though? She probably still thinks I'm an asshole...

I glanced over at her, "Do you want me to leave?"

She spent a moment letting her now dull emerald green eyes study my brown ones before she breathed out a quiet, "No."

"Then I'll stay."

"Jean, I'm sure you have a life, things to do..." She looked back to the TV before she continued, "What about Christa? I'm sure she's worried about you."

I let out a chuckle, "Pretty sure Christa couldn't care less after my embarrassing outburst at the carnival."

She smirked, "Yeah, what _was_ that?"

My head shook, "I don't even know." Hannah responded with an unconvinced "Hmmph."

"I think I was just jealous to see Marco so... _happy_."

"You didn't even enjoy your time with Christa? She's so beautiful, I couldn't imagine someone not having a nice time on a date with her. " My shoulders fell down in a lazy shrug as I started flipping through channels on the TV, "Pretty sure she wasn't into me, she wouldn't shut up about this chick Ymir."

Re-runs of Monty Python's Flying Circus popped up on the next channel and I left it there, letting my eyes bore into the colored pixels of the screen in front of me. A pained groan sounded from Hannah and I turned my attention to her only to see a large grey cat now curled up on her chest. "You have a cat?"

She smirked, "No."

I rolled my eyes and she continued, "Mikasa was taking care of her while I was in the hospital. She has a key in case of emergency."

I slid further down the couch and re-adjusted her legs before I let my heavy eyelids close.                                                                          

 


	11. Jeany and Hanny

**-Hannah-**

The sound of a key turning the lock of my door woke me up. I tilted my head and gave a slight smile to Jean's mom. Lifting a finger to my lips, I pointed to the sleeping man beside me in an effort for her not to wake him. She smiled and brought the bags she was holding to my kitchen, unpacked them and opened up cupboards to find where things go.

I heard her rustling around with some pans before the sound of her chopping vegetables traveled through to the living room. A warm feeling tingled in my chest as I let my tense and aching body relax again. I couldn't remember the last time someone else cooked dinner for me...

Twenty minutes later Jean's mom came into the room and tugged on her son's ear. He grumbled and swatted her hand away.

"Dinner's ready, Jeany."

I snorted at the nickname and he shot a sleepy glare my way, "Shut it _Hanny_."

I laughed it off as I slid my legs off of Jean's lap, letting my feet hit the cold floor.

-

"Dinner was wonderful, Marie."

She smiled, "I'm glad you liked it. I made lots of leftovers and packed them up in the fridge. I also made and wrapped up a few sandwiches and cut up some fruit for you."

"You are an angel." I complimented and she rolled her eyes. "Don't be silly, Hannah."

I looked at her straight in the eye, "I'm not, I mean it." Marie pinched my cheek lightly before washing the dishes. "Jean, I assume you plan on continuing to invade Hannah's space this evening?"

"Don't say it like that, I asked." He defended and she raised an eyebrow at me with a smirk.

I shrugged off her insinuating expression and felt a light blush cross my cheeks. _Wait, why am I blushing?_ I don't want her to get the wrong idea... I just don't think I'm ready to be alone with my thoughts.

"You should go home and shower, it seems Hannah is too nice to point out your stench. I'll stay here and keep an eye on things. "

Jean looked over at me for approval. "You do kinda smell," I admitted with a chuckle.

"Alright. I'll be back."

After Jean left, his mom made us some tea and sat with me at the kitchen table. We sit in relative silence for a while, the sound of Monty Python's laugh track carried through every once in a while.

"Still think he hates you?" Marie spoke up. I stared into the beige sea of my drink, "Marie, he's only here because of Marco."

She hummed quietly, "I'm not so sure of that."

I took a sip of my tea, "It's only been a few days, I don't think his hate could dissolve that quickly. He seems too stubborn for that."

"Did you want me to help you with a bath?" She asked after a few more minutes passed.

My face turned pink at the idea of her once again seeing me nude. "I think I'm going to try and give myself a hobo bath."

Marie chuckled, "Alright. Could I at least get you some pajamas or something from your room?"

I rubbed the back of my neck, looking down at my feet, "Actually Marie, I think I'm going to stick with these ones for tonight. You know, less laundry for later."

She smirked, " _Right_ , less laundry. Whatever you prefer, honey."

I slowly made my way to the bathroom, wet a cloth with some warm water, and scrubbed a bar of soap against it before wiping down everywhere I could reach, rinsing out the cloth and repeating the actions until I felt somewhat less gross. After the painful production that was getting dressed, I glanced up and caught my reflection in the mirror, staring at myself in horror. My face, neck, and collarbone were covered in yellow, green, and purple splotches highlighted by scrapes that are beginning to scab. The front of my scalp was missing a large circular section of hair, displaying a large stitched up gash.

I didn't realize I was sobbing until Marie knocked on the door softly before she opened it, finding me cradling my legs on the bathroom floor. She sat down and gently pulled me into her lap, and ran her fingers through my hair as I continued.

"How am I supposed to show my face at his funeral tomorrow?" I wiped my eyes against the sleeve of Jean's sweater.

"We'll find you a hat and I can try to use makeup to cover visible bruises." She tried to soothe me, but the uncomfortable knot in my stomach continues to tighten. "How can I face Marco's family." I whispered as I buried my face into her neck.

"Mrs. Bodt was the person who encouraged me to be with you."

I turned and rested my cheek on Marie's shoulder to face the direction of Jean's voice, seeing him leaning in the doorway with wet hair. "She must hate me by now. I still don't understand how you don't, but I imagine that will happen soon enough..."

Jean crouched down in front of me and brushed my hair, or what's fucking left of it, behind my ear. The gentleness of the gesture caught me by surprise. "No one hates you, Hannah. No one blames you, either. Shit happens and all we can do is... cope."

I sniffled and Marie pulled a tissue out of the box behind her, handing it to me. I blew my nose and Jean laughed, I can hear his mom stifling a giggle as well. She nodded over to Jean and he picked me up in a princess carry, walking me over to my bed.

" _Christ_ , you're a slob." He commented as he entered my room.

I hit his chest lightly with an open palm as I simultaneously laughed and cried. When Jean placed me in my bed I snuggled into my blanket, burying half my face into it.

He turned to walk away and I reached out for his wrist, "You're not leaving, right?" He shook his head and his lips curled up into a slight smile, "No, I'm not leaving."

**-Jean-**

I closed her bedroom door and plopped down on Hannah's couch in the living room. My mom came and sat beside me, leaning her head on my shoulder. "You like her, don't you?"

"Don't be stupid. She was into Marco." The woman pinched my cheek, "You didn't deny it. Well, I approve."

"I don't like her and I don't need your approval even if I did."

She sighed, "She thinks you hate her, you know." I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at the screen. "That's stupid. If I hated her, why would I be here?"

"For Marco, not for her."

"Ugggggh." I groaned in annoyance.

"What did you do to make her think you hate her? I know you can be a jerk but it seems like more than that."

Exhaling slowly I mumbled out the truth, " _I-kinda-told-Marco-not-to-date-her._ " She swatted my arm, "Why would you do that?!"

"She was kind of a bitch at first... although Marco pointed out it was because I was a jerk first."

My mom exhaled loudly, "Somehow I get the feeling there's more to this situation than that."

"Whatever, believe what you want."

She raised an eyebrow at me but let it go. I have a feeling this won't be the last I hear about it. "Okay, well I'm going home. If you need anything call, okay?"

I nodded and waved her off.  After she locked the door behind her, I brought Hannah two painkillers since she was overdue for them. She was calmed down quite a bit but the sadness in her eyes seemed... different. She sat up when she noticed I was in the room and I sat on the side of her bed while she took the medication. "You don't have to stay, Jean. I'll be fine on my own."

"Hannah, we went over this. It's fine." I sighed, the events of the day have finally taken a toll on me.

"I overheard you and your mom... You've done enough to make Marco proud. You shouldn't stay around me when you don't like me."

I groaned, "Hannah. She meant like as in if I had a _crush_. Stop thinking that I hate you because I don't."

"Oh." She squeaked out as a blush rose to her cheeks. "So I'll stay over if that's okay with you. You'd probably fall or some shit if you were left alone."

I rubbed the back of my neck as she coughed out a laugh, "Probably."

"You should get some rest. I'll be on the couch if you need me."

 

I changed into my pajama bottoms and a muscle shirt. Normally I'd sleep in just my boxers but that doesn't seem appropriate for the situation... so the lighter the clothes the better. I flicked the lights off and turned down the volume of the TV to leave a little background noise as I faced the back of the couch to try and fall asleep.

_She really thinks I hate her?_ I mean, I did stay with her because it's what I thought Marco would want... but I don't even know if that's how it is anymore. I feel kind of responsible for her. I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't care at all because I do. She's my friend now, the only one I have...

**-Hannah-**

Jean hadn't slept on a bed in over a week because of me, I couldn't help but think it was shitty of me to let him sleep on that lumpy ass couch of mine. I sighed and got up out of my bed, cautiously making my way through the hallway dimly lit by the bright flashes of color from the TV. I ran my hand through Jean's soft brown hair in an effort to wake him up without startling him. His eyes squinted open, "What's wrong?"

"Sleep on the bed, Jean."

He grumbled, "Don't be stupid, Hannah. Go back to sleep."

"Jean, I feel guilty that you haven't had a good night's sleep because of me. Please just sleep on the bed."

He sighed and flipped over on his back, craning his neck to look up at me on the other side of the armrest. "Hannah I'm not letting you sleep on the couch." I shrugged, "Then I won't."

"Hannah." His tone was serious, almost stern. "It's just sleeping, Jean. Relax, it's not like you have a crush on me." I teased, poking his cheek.

"You're not going to go unless I come, are you?"

"Nope." I popped the P.  

 


	12. The Funeral

**-Hannah-**

I woke up from the sound of an alarm but kept my eyes closed. I felt Jean's muscular arm lift from my waist and reach over to make the ringing stop. Jean sighed and propped himself up on his elbow to face me.

"Stop staring, Jean. I know I look like a monster." I mumbled before my eyes fluttered open. Jean frowned and hesitantly lifted a hand to lightly touch one the bruises on my cheek, "Does it hurt?"

I knitted my eyebrows together and sarcastically responded, "Does it _look_ like it hurts?" The brunette laughed, "Like hell. Guess it was a stupid question."

I nodded, leaning into the hand that lingers on my face as I craved for any human contact that made me not feel so completely empty and alone, even if it was Jean.

The ringer on Jean's phone went off and startled us both, a blush rising to my discolored cheeks at the thought of our current state, which for whatever fucked up reason, felt oddly normal. "Hey, Mom." Jean's gravelly morning voice sputtered out. He mumbled out a few _mhmm's_ before handing his phone over to me.

"Good morning Marie."

"That was a quick hand over. By the sound of Jean's voice, I'd say he just woke up... did you two _sleep_ together?"

"Ah! Um No. Well, yes. But not the way you think!" I squirmed away from Jean and he raised an eyebrow.

Marie chuckled, "I'm just teasing you, dear. I have a few things for you to wear to the funeral today. Do you have a black dress?"

I nodded but then Jean flicked me, "She can't see you, dumb ass."

I cringed, "Yes, I have a black dress."

"Okay, I'll be over in an hour. Do me a favor and make sure Jean's ready?"

"Can do."

"Bye Hannah."

Jean rolled onto his stomach with a groan, "So what did she say that made you blush?" My eyes widened for a second before I squinted, "Nothing?"

"You're a bad liar."

"She asked if we slept together," I replied bluntly, not being able to think of a better way.  Jean busted out laughing, "Of course she did. That's funny." 

I rolled my eyes, "She also told me to make sure you were ready to go in an hour, so get your ass up."

"Uuugh, five more minutes." Jean whined, pulling the blankets over our heads like a kid who didn't want to go to school.

"Hey, Jean?" I asked after the blanket settled.  "Hmm?" He turned to look at me. 

"You really think Marco's family doesn't hate me?" Jean found my hand and squeezed it, "I know they don't." 

I exhaled before whispering, "A-and you don't either?"

"Of course not."

I pulled my hand out of his and tugged the blankets off, "Alright, get up you lazy ass. You brought your clothes for it?"

He nodded, "I grabbed them last night."

-

Jean walked out of the bathroom and into the living room in a well-tailored black suit, complete with a black button down shirt and a skinny black silk tie loosely hung around his neck. It took me a bit by surprise how handsome he looked all dressed up like this. It's not that I didn't think he was an attractive guy or anything, because dear lord is he ever, but his turd of a personality skewed my opinion. So I guess he's like a _polished_ turd now? Regardless, he looked better than I'd expected.

He smirked as he saw me taking in his current look but I caught something and piped up, "You don't know how to tie a tie, do you?"

He grumbled, "My dad always did it for me."

I motioned for him to come closer and I arranged it properly under his collar. Marie's key jangled in the door just before it unlocked and she didn't hold back her " _Awww_."

Jean's cheeks bloomed with a pink blush as I finished looping his tie and tightened it to the appropriate spot. "Marie, would you mind helping me with my dress?" 

"Of course."

We entered my bedroom and closed the door. I took the dress off of the hanger and passed it to Jean's mom. She held it out and inspected it.

"This is quite tasteful, Hannah." She picked a few pieces of lint off of the high neckline dress with three quarter length sleeves and a half circle skirt that flowed just past the knee.

I scoffed playfully, "Marie, are you trying to imply that you assumed I had bad taste?"

She laughed, "Women your age tend to show off a lot more skin than this. I'm glad you're not going to have to wear the backup outfit I brought."

Marie helped me take Jean's t-shirt off as I shimmied out of his sweats. I managed to slip my bra on and have her clasp it at the back before she laid out the dress for me to step into. The garment was pulled up my body and we realized once we get to the sleeves that it won't fit over my cast.

"Fuck!"

"It's okay Hannah, we can get the emergency outfit I brought."

I sighed. I don't have the god damn patience to change another time. I backed away from Mrs.Kirstein and pulled the one sleeve up enough to cover my bra before I walked out of the room, slowly making my way to the kitchen.

Jean leaned around the couch to see what I was doing and I heard him chuckle, "Hannah you shouldn't walk around like that while I'm here."

I realized the back of my dress was wide open, putting the top of my underwear and entirety of my bruised back on display.

"Don't be a perv, Jean."

"What are you doing, anyway?" He questioned as he walks over to where I was standing, just in time to watch me cut the sleeve of my dress at the seam to fit it above my cast. 

"Well, that works I guess." He laughed.

"Now that that's done, could you zip me up, please?"

**-Jean-**

Hannah walked out of her room and headed to the kitchen. I craned my neck to see what she was doing and get a frickin' eyeful. Her dress is half way on, leaving the curves of her bruised body displayed in a way that had me struggling to keep my eyes to myself. God, even covered in bruises somehow she still looked good. I cringed internally, it's not like I've never seen a good looking woman before, I can't be fucking thinking like that. Not today. Not now. Not ever.

"Hannah, you shouldn't walk around like that while I'm here."

"Don't be a perv, Jean." She replied.

I smirked, _sassy broad_. I walked over to her and questioned what she was doing just in time to see her take scissors to the sleeve of her dress, cut it open to not so gracefully and shove her casted arm through it. I couldn't help but laugh, "Well that works I guess."

"Now that that's done, could you zip me up, please?" Hannah pulled her hair over her shoulder, revealing more dark and painful looking bruises.

I couldn't imagine dealing with that every second of every day, every touch hurting her, reminding her of what happened - reminding her of Marco.

My mom walked into the room and we made eye contact, she gave me a sad smile as she saw the emotion written all across my face. I took a deep breath and pulled the zipper up, rearranging her hair back behind her shoulders.  "Thanks, Jean." She commented before looking over at my mom, who was holding a hairbrush, a large black floppy hat, and a pair of overly big sunglasses.

"Take a seat at the table and I'll fix your hair, sweetheart." My mom instructed as she walked over and placed the items down.

I took the seat across from Hannah and watched as she visibly relaxed when my mom started brushing through her long, tangled brown hair.  "My mom used to brush my hair when I was little." She murmured with closed eyes to no one in particular, more like she was reliving a distant memory.

My mother hummed in response as she continued her gentle brushing, obviously slowing her pace to take her time after Hannah's comment.  When she finished she placed the large sun hat on top of Hannah's head and handed her the sunglasses to put on. Hannah took a slow, calculated twirl in her completed outfit and jokingly asked, "Well, what do you think?"

If you disregarded the frayed edges of her left sleeve, she actually didn't look bad. The closer you looked, the more obvious her various bruising and scrapes were though.

"You look like a grieving widow who got hit by a bus." My mom backhanded the top of my head for the comment and I flinched.

Hannah shrugged it off with a laugh, "Just the look I was going for."

"Ready?" Mom asked me with a worried tone.

"I'll never be ready."

-

Throughout the entire ride to the funeral home I couldn't stop crying. I needed to get it out now so that I wouldn't break down during the speech Mrs. Bodt asked me to give. Hannah, who chose to sit in the back seat with me, stayed silent. When we're almost there, she reached her soft hand out to rest on top of mine, giving a gentle squeeze of support before pulling it back into her lap.

**-Hannah-**

Walking in through the heavy wooden doors of the funeral home had me feeling as if passing through there was admitting that Marco was really gone. It was admitting that I would never get to hold his hand again and that the world took him away from me before I had time to truly discover the person he is... _was_.

Jean glanced over at me and leaned in, "That's Marco's mom, we should say something."

I nodded and took a deep breath as we slowly walked over to the teary brunette woman that stood with her husband. Mrs. Bodt saw Jean and wrapped him in a tight hug, whispering something in his ear as I shook Mr.Bodt's hand.

"I'm very sorry for your loss, sir."

His head just tilted down, not wanting to look at me, or not being able to. Jean was wrong; I'm a fucking monster. _They do hate me_.

God, I couldn't fucking blame them either. I would hate me too. I do hate me too. My train of thought was interrupted as I felt someone take the sunglasses off of my face.

Mrs.Bodt gave me a sad smile, "You don't need these inside, sweetheart." She reached for the hat as well but my hand clamped down on it quickly, too embarrassed to show what I actually looked like right now as I winced in pain.  Marie leaned into her ear, I assume explaining the plethora of accessories.

Mrs.Bodt nodded in understanding and carefully wrapped me in a hug, whispering in my ear, "Thank you for being there with my son, Jean said he really cared for you. If there's anything I can do for you please let me know."

I pulled out of the hug with my eyebrows knitted together and tears streaming down my face, confused but at the same time relieved by the kindness she was showing me. Marie hooked her arm around my shoulders and led me away to a pew. We passed Eren, Armin, and Mikasa on the way and I gave them a nod of acknowledgement.

The Bodt's decided against open casket, thank god. I don't think I could've handled the smiling image of the sweetest man I've known being replaced with a dull and lifeless body. The thought alone left me shaking.  Beside me, I saw Jean's hands gripping at his pant legs so tightly that his knuckles were white. His face was red and his eyes were squeezed shut. I wish I knew how to take this pain away from him.

_It_ _should've been me._

Only three people even gave a shit about me, an entire room full of people are here for Marco. He was everyone's friend.

 _It should've been me_.

How do I fucking barter with God, or whatever the fuck being is responsible for life after death, if there even is one, to trade my life for his?

I placed my hand on top of Jean's tensed one. He didn't relax so I wedged my fingers underneath to pry his grip off of his pants before he ruined them. When Jean turned to face me, I saw a sadness in his eyes that I never wanted to see again; a depth of dark despair and fear that felt as if it could swallow me whole before I even had the chance to blink.

Knowing I couldn't take the pain away, knowing how deeply he cared for his friend, it created a hole in my heart. A wound that I didn't think I could ever mend, knowing it's my fault for causing such pain to so many people.

Marco's parents said a few words, as well as the director of the funeral. Jean was called forward and as he walked in front of me to leave the pew I caught his hand for a fleeting moment. Jean reached the podium at the front of the room, closed his eyes and took a deep breath to compose himself before unfolding a piece of paper that was tucked into his jacket pocket.

_"Marco was my best friend. Truthfully, he was my only friend. He was the only person who bothered to put up with my crap, who called me out on it, and who held me to a higher standard than I held myself. Marco has helped shape me into the man I am today and showed me the man I'd like to one day become. He smiled through all hardships as if he knew it would all work out, yet he didn't realize the brightness of his smile was often a beacon of hope to others, a light in the darkness. Marco was a friend to everyone he met, but was a brother to me. He lived a life not of mistakes and regrets, but of lessons and memories."_

There was not a dry eye in the room. Although I was buried in the depths of myself loathing, I wished I could reach out to Jean. I wished I could lay my hand over his heart and take out the pain and suffering I had caused.

But I can't.  

 


	13. An Incredible Kindness

**-Hannah-**

Jean's mom drove us to their home instead of my apartment and offered to cook me a good meal which I was in no position to refuse. Jean's father considerately pulled out a chair at the kitchen table for me and I smiled politely, "Thank you Mr.Kirstein."

Jean smirked a little and I tilted my head in confusion. "It's weird seeing you so polite." Playfully, I scoffed, "I am always fucking polite, you ass."

I heard Marie giggle from the kitchen and I smiled at the sound. The woman came to the table to drop off glasses of water for us before heading back to the other room.

Mentally and physically drained from today's events, I laid my head against the table but it dropped a little too hard and I sucked in a sharp breath of air. Beside me, Jean sighed and got up. He came back moments later and placed something cold against my cheek.

"This might help since you forgot to bring your pain medication with you, dummy."

I mumbled a thank you and rearranged the ice pack over my eyes and the bridge of my nose.

As we're getting ready to leave, Jean excused himself to go pack a few items. I looked up worriedly to his mom, "He doesn't need to stay over... He needs to take care of himself too."

Marie sighed and wrapped her arms around me, petting my hair soothingly, "Sometimes taking care of someone else is a way to care for ourselves, Hannah. Please let him help you if he wants to. He doesn't have anyone else. "

I let out a long breath and clung to her, I hadn't thought of it like that. It's not like I hated having him around, I just don't want him to feel like he has to be there. If I'm being honest with myself, he's been there for me more than my actual friends have... not that I'd have let them help me that much anyway, which I'm sure they know.

**-Jean-**

I dumped out the contents of my old high school backpack on the floor of my bedroom and started shoving clothes into it along with a few small things I had forgotten yesterday. I grabbed my pillow off of my bed and headed back down. I stopped at the stairs landing, not wanting to interrupt whatever moment Hannah and my mom were having.

"I think we've all cried enough for today." My mom concluded as she lifted her head up and noticed my presence. She patted Hannah's back gently before she released her, spun her around and gave her a light push toward the door. The brunette stumbled and on reflex, I dropped everything I was holding and was over to her in a split second.

Hannah steadied herself on her own before a shaky laugh slipped past her lips, "My legs aren't broken Jean, just my arm."

I scowled, "Well, you still walk like an old lady who just had a hip replacement."

She smiled and reached to pat the top of my head, "Thanks, deary." She said in a shitty sounding old lady's voice, leaving me to roll my eyes as she made her way to the front door.

When we got back to her place she got settled on the couch and I made us some popcorn, grabbing her meds at the same time. I put the bowl in her lap and handed her a glass of water with the pills. She swallowed them and I took the glass, setting it on the table before digging in my bag for a box set of DVDs.

"I hope you like The Office because that's what we're watching." I said whilst walking over and popping a disc in the player.

Hannah moved her legs aside for me to sit down and I placed them on my lap once I was comfortably seated.  I started quoting along with the show, which irked her, and she started pelting my face with popcorn. As she tossed the third piece, I move my head quickly and caught it in my mouth, chewing it with a smirk.

Hannah burst out laughing, "You're such an idiot, Jean." She shook her head and returned to watching the show.

A few hours later she was passed out on the couch, snoring up a storm. I let her rest there for a while until I was ready to call it a night. I gently moved her legs and got off the couch while avoiding any sudden movements. I slipped an arm behind her knees and another behind her neck, lifting her up close to my chest and began walking to her room. Hannah stirred a little but let her hands grip lightly onto my shirt as she snuggled into my warmth.

I managed to pull back the blanket on her bed and slid her underneath, placing the covers on top of her before slipping out of the room and turning off the light. I turned off the lights in the living room as well and let my head hit my pillow on the couch.

I couldn't get out of my head. I couldn't get out the image of Marco's beat-up body in the hospital bed. The sounds of his breathing apparatus and heart monitor haunt me.  When I did finally fall asleep, all that played in my head was what I imagined Marco's last moments to be on a loop. There was no way it wasn't painful, no way he hadn't felt his bones crushing and ribs stabbing into his organs. _Fuck_. I hoped it was a shock like it seemed to have been for Hannah. Actually, I don't think I ever asked her what it was like, just what she remembered. Maybe it came back to her?

I seemed to have worried myself to sleep and into another nightmare as I was shaken awake by a teary brunette. She lifted her hand to wipe my face and I realized I'd been crying. Hannah lifted my head up and sat underneath me, resting my head in her lap as she brushed her hand through my hair, both of us remaining silent as if we had an unspoken agreement.

The sun shining in my eyes through the open slit of her curtains woke me up. I glanced up and saw Hannah's head craned to the side as she slept. I stretched my legs out a little, trying not to disturb her but she started to stir, immediately pulling her hand out of my hair.

"S-sorry." She mumbled.

"Go take a shower, your hair looks greasy as fuck. I'll make breakfast."

**-Hannah-**

I walked over to the kitchen and pulled a garbage bag out from the sink, slipped it over my cast and tried to tie a knot in it with one hand, using my teeth to try and tighten it. I huffed in frustration and Jean chuckled, leaning against the refrigerator.  "Are you just going to stand there and laugh at me?!"

He nodded with a smug smile, "You didn't even ask nicely."

I groaned with exaggerated annoyance, "Jean could you pretty please with a god damn cherry on top tie this fucking garbage bag around my cast so I don't get it wet in the shower?"

He walked over and held my cast, carefully tying a tight knot just below my elbow.

"See, you just had to ask." I rolled my eyes and headed to the bathroom, grabbing a towel on my way.

I turned on the knob and managed to undress on my own, cringing at the idea of trying to re-dress myself later. The hot water hit my skin, burning at first but as my body adjusted and my muscles loosened from the heat, it's relaxing.  I ran a hand through my hair, starting at my forehead and absentmindedly touched the gash in my head. A yelp of surprise left my lips and pain flashed through my body as if I'd been struck by lightning.

Jean knocked on the door, "Hannah? You okay?"

I leaned against the shower wall to keep myself standing. My eyes squeezed shut from the immense pain shooting through me.

"Hannah I'm going to come in, okay?"

I couldn't move my lips to call out a response, but the last thing I needed was for Jean to see me like this. He entered the room and sat on the closed toilet seat beside the tub.  "Hannah, did you get hurt?" His voice was steady yet laced with worry.

"I'll be f-fine." My words came out in a sob.

Jean sighed, "Hannah if you're hurt I can help."

"You can't see me like this."

"At least come out of the shower so you don't slip and fall." He advised.

"I- I still need to wash my hair, Jean." My sorry excuse for a self whimpered out. I felt so pathetic. So fucking weak.

"I'll help."

"You can't see me naked."

"It's not as if I've never seen a woman's body before, Hannah. You're making it a bigger deal than it is. Just let me help you so we can eat breakfast." His voice was soft and genuine, but my hurt pride made this so much more difficult to accept.

"It's bad, Jean. I look like a fucking zombie, it's disgusting. No one should have to see this."

I heard Jean move to sit on the side of the tub, just on the other side of the shower curtain.

"Look, you don't really have a choice but to accept my help. Regardless of your injuries and bruises, you're..." He paused, exhaling slowly before continuing, "Beautiful. I won't look longer than I have to, just let me wash your hair and then we'll finish making breakfast, 'kay?"

I nodded my head, accepting that I have to rely on others right now. This is how my life will be until I start healing.  "Are you nodding? You know I can't see you, right?"

I sniffled and laughed lightly, "I was."

"Okay, put the shampoo on the ledge here and then turn around." Jean instructed.

I did as he said, making slow movements so as not to fall. Jean slid the curtain open, the metal hooks scraped against the rod holding them up. He reached up and took the removable shower head off of its holder, changing the temperature from hot to a bit warmer than lukewarm before wetting my hair. He carefully avoided my embarrassing bald spot, cupping water in his hand to get the spots near it.

Tears slid down my face as Jean gently lathered and massaged shampoo into my hair.  "You holding up okay?" He inquired in a barely audible whisper, both of us feeling uncomfortable.

I mustered the courage to only nod my head, I knew there was no other option.  Jean carefully rinsed my hair before placing the showerhead back in its spot. I looked over my shoulder as he turned around to grab my towel off of the hook.

Jean held open the towel and turned his head away in an effort to give me the illusion of modesty. I took a deep breath and leaned over to turn off the water before wrapping myself in the warmth of the fabric. Jean opened the door and I followed him to my bedroom.

"Wait here a minute."  I nodded once again, staying quiet because I had no words to express how pathetic I felt losing my independence and what little modesty I could cling to.

When he got back he stretched out a large black sweatshirt to fit over my head, gently weaved my cast through one of the sleeves and let me get the other arm inside. Jean set down a pair of grey sweatpants on the ground for me to step into. I kept the towel wrapped around me as I walked to my dresser, blushing as I took out a pair of black bikini briefs and placed them on top of where the sweats were.

Jean arranged them and then shimmied the clothing up to where the towel hit just above the knee before he turned around and let me pull them all the way up with my one good hand. I slid the towel off and let it fall to the ground in a heap.  Jean took that as his cue to turn around, he immediately wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Hannah." His low voice reverberated in my ear, soothing my tears slightly.

For a moment, I found myself wondering how the asshole I met a few weeks ago could be the man who's shown me this incredible kindness.

 


	14. Reliving a Not-So-Distant Memory

A week goes by and Jean is still staying with me at my apartment. My back pain is much more manageable, so I'm able to mostly move around like before. The doctor said my head wound is going to take much longer to heal and my arm will be cast for a few more weeks.

Jean had taken me to my appointment and on the drive back we just listened to a podcast in the car. When he parks outside of my building he stays still for a long moment before resting his forehead on the worn black steering wheel. "Can I ask you something that's been bothering me?"

My eyebrows knit together as my stomach starts churning as the anxiety starts bubbling up at the thought, "Sure."

"What were Marco's last moments like?" He sounds strained as if it hurts him more to say it aloud.

I rub the back of my neck with a sigh, knowing someone was bound to ask me at some point."We were talking about fate, actually. How it seemed we were meant to meet that day..." Jean tilts his head towards me but doesn't meet my gaze. I find myself lifting my hand to my cheek, where I last felt Marco's touch. "Then he kissed my cheek...that's the last thing I remember before waking up."

"I hope that you were the last thing he remembers too." Jean breathes, noticeably trying to hold himself together. I twist in my seat so I can rub his back in a supportive way, hoping my touch can at least let him feel less alone. Jean's hands grip the steering wheel, the plastic sound of it squeaking under the pressure surrounds us. I place what's visible of my fingers through my cast on top of his closest hand to me. He looks up at our hands and grumbles something mildly incoherent to himself. "I'm sorry, Hannah."

I lift my hand from his back to his hair, trying to reassure Jean that we will get through this. "It's not your fault, Jean."

Jean hits the steering wheel with his spare hand, "I told him not to go!" He sobs. "I should've tried to convince him! Then you both would've been okay..." I pull my hands into my lap, focusing on the skin around my fingernails before quietly admitting to him. "It's my fault, Jean. I distracted him."

The man scoffs, "For fuck sake Hannah, it's not on you. The world doesn't revolve around you, damn it!" My eyes sting with hot tears, "I never thought it did." My shaky hand jostled the door handle before finally clasping it and pushing it open.

"What are y-"

"Go home, Jean. I think you need some space if that's how you feel."

\--

"For fuck sake Hannah, it's not on you. The world doesn't revolve around you, damn it!" As the words leave my lips I know I don't believe them. From the first day I met her my life revolved around her, my mind wouldn't give me any peace for crying out loud! She doesn't even know any of that! It's not even her god damn fault either.

I fucked up.

"I never thought it did." She murmurs, trying to hide a sniffle. Great, I fucking made her cry. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her trembling hand reach for the door. "What are y-"

"Go home, Jean. I think you need some space if that's how you feel." She spoke softly before closing the door behind her.

"Fuck!" I curse, banging my fist against the steering wheel. Why did I fucking say that? Why do I always manage to be an asshole? Why am I such a fuck up!

-

After calming myself down enough that I felt coherent enough to drive, I walk into the house and slam the door shut. Mom pokes her head out of the kitchen, "You okay, Jeany?" I slide down into a chair at the table, resting my forehead against the cool surface. Her hand ruffles my hair, "Where's Hannah?"

I groan and bang my head against the table. My mom sits down next to me, "What did you do, Jean?" Her accusing tone says enough. "I lost my cool in front of her."

"You've cried in front of her, she never made a big deal about it before, Hun." She tries to soothe. "This was different. I said something shitty and she told me to go home."

Mom pats my head. "What happened that made you so upset?" I tilt my head to the side, facing her. "I asked about Marco's last moments. She said they were talking about how fate brought them together... that the last thing she remembers is Marco kissing her cheek."

"Sweetheart..." she breathes out, rubbing my back in circles for a moment before pulling away again. "Maybe that's the last thing he remembered too. Wouldn't that have been a nice memory?" I nod, shoving my face into my folded arms. A light chuckle escapes from my mom, "That's not the part you're upset about, is it?" _God, how can she read me like a fucking book?!_ I shook my head no.

"It's okay to be jealous, Jean."

"Being jealous of my dead best friend is so messed up, mom. How do I even fucking process that?"

"You can't help how you feel, but you can control how you act upon it. How are you going to smooth things over?" She asks.

"I can't just go up to her and say that I wish it was me that kissed her and not Marco. That's so fucked up! Especially so soon!"

"Jean, you could just apologize and do something nice for her in return. You don't have to bare your heart and soul, dummy." She flicks the back of my head and I look at her once again, "Like what?"

She shrugs, "You'll figure something out."

-

_(Several hours later)_

He's just mad. He's just mad. He's just mad. He just needs time. He's not deserting me, right? Fucking Eren hasn't been here in DAYS! Jean's been here every day... we're still friends, right? Oh god, does he even consider me a friend? Fuck, I don't even have his fucking phone number.

 _Wait_.

I do have Marie's. I don't hesitate before press the little green phone icon next to Mrs. Kirstein's contact information. It only rings twice before she answers, "Hi sweetie, how are you?"

"Surviving... " I sigh before continuing, " Have you seen Jean? Do you know if he's still mad at me?" She's silent for a minute, making me think he is. I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to fight back the tears unsuccessfully. "You'll see him soon, Hannah. Don't get too worked up, okay? You two will sort it out, I promise." She barely gets the words out before Jean walks in through my unlocked door. "Thanks, Marie." I breathe out before hanging up.

"You really shouldn't leave your door unlocked, you know." He smiles sadly at me and I rush over, wrapping my arms around him. "I'm sorry Jean." I sniffle and he drops the bags he's holding, kindly placing a hand on the back of my head to lean me against his chest. "You have nothing to apologize for, idiot. I let my emotions get the best of me and took it out on you like an asshole. "

I laugh softly through my tears, shifting my face to try and look at him. "You are kind of an asshole." He scoffs, "Look who's talking Miss _I'm-too-good-for-Jim-Beam_."

I pull away from Jean, not daring to look him in the eye as I mumble, "Thanks for coming back." He lifts my chin up with his index finger, "You're my only friend Hannah, I'm not going anywhere." I sigh before wiping my tears on the sweater I stole from Jean this morning. "So what's in the bags?"

Jean grins, "Why only the most extravagant array of snack foods known to man! We're having a movie marathon." I raise an eyebrow at him, "Isn't that what we've been doing every night anyway?"

He shrugs, "Perhaps, but not like this!" Jean picks up the three grocery bags and places them on the kitchen table, digging through one of them and pulling out several DVD's. He holds them up as if they were a hand of playing cards. "Step Brothers. Talladega Nights. Anchorman. Night At The Roxbury. It's a Best of Will Ferrell marathon, so get ready to laugh your ass off, Banana!"

I shoot Jean a smirk, "Banana?"

"Hannah Banana, get it?" I roll my eyes sarcastically, "Of course I get it, dumbass. I didn't realize you were so cheesy." Jean flashes me an incredibly mesmerizing grin, "You ain't seen nothin' yet, Hannah Banana."

"I assume your mom fed you before you left?" I question as my stomach loudly growls at me to stuff it with food. "Surprisingly not, actually. She did bake us a bunch of muffins though." Jean starts unpacking the egregious amount of snacks onto the table before finding the slightly squished muffins at the bottom. "I'll have to thank her later. Since we're having Treat-o-palooza tonight, I'm making us a veggie stir fry for dinner."

"That's not going to cancel out, you know."

"Shut your pie-hole."

-

Hannah was dancing along to oldie's as she chopped vegetables and tossed them in the pan. One misses and the pan and hits the floor but she doesn't seem to notice, continuing on humming along to the song.  I stand there for a minute with my arms crossed, leaning against the fridge as I commit this moment to memory.

I haven't seen her this carefree before and it's mesmerizing. I tear my eyes away from her and pick up the carrot slice she dropped, blowing it off and walking behind her to toss it into the sizzling pan. Hannah turns her head slightly and glances back at me, her eyes have a lively glint that catches me off guard. A blush rises to her cheeks as she notices the very minimal distance between us, questioning with a slight nervousness, "W-where'd you get that?"

I shrug, trying my damnedest not to back away from her. "You dropped it." Her eyes widen, "Are you trying to kill us?!"

I chuckle at the reaction, "I inspected it first and concluded it was not a lethal carrot." My phone buzzes in my pocket and kills the moment as Hannah bursts out laughing.

 

 **Christa**  
I heard about Marco... we should catch up.

 

My smile turns into a slight frown as I read the message. Why the hell is she even doing this? I thought she hated me? She should hate me after that god damn shit show of a carnival. The memory of Marco and Hannah sitting on the picnic table flashes quickly behind my eyes and without realizing it I let a sigh pass through my lips.

Hannah takes the pan off of the stove and notices my expression. "You okay? Who texted?" I hum, not sure if I should mention it or not... It's not like I'm interested in the dumb blonde anyway and I know lying isn't the smartest option. "Christa. She wants to catch up."

Hannah nods, her brown hair bobbing slightly against her shoulders. "Oh." Her voice sounds quietly. She turns away from me to start dishing up the food, "You should go. I'm sure it'll be nice to see her, give you a break from this swamp hag you're used to seeing." She lets out a breathy chuckle.

"You don't look like a swamp hag, more like a colorful sea beast." I elbow her side, trying to lighten the slight tension I'm feeling. She hands me a plate and pats my cheek, "You really know how to compliment a lady, Jean."

 **Jean**  
Okay, I guess.

 


	15. Gone Leavin'

I've run out of vacation days, sick days, and banked time. Today's going to be my first day back at work in over a month and I'm not fucking ready to be back in that shithole without Marco. To look at his empty desk beside mine and not hear his god damn chatter all day is going to be pure hell, a constant reminder of everything that happened to him... and to Hannah. Speaking of that emerald eyed fuck, she insisted I sleep in her bed last night, leaving her on the couch. While part of me is relieved to not have to be subjected to more hours on lump city over there, I hate the idea of her sleeping on the couch. She's been through enough to deserve to sleep in her own damn bed.

When I woke up this morning, I was greeted by the sight of Hannah's mop of brown hair tied up on the top of her head while she was in the kitchen making breakfast. She turned around and let out the cutest fucking squeak, startled by my presence. I chuckled at her and she swatted my arm, "Go get dressed for work, breakfast will be ready by the time you're done."

"Thanks, Banana."

I change into my work clothes since it's an office I have to dress less casual. Barf. So I slip on my black pants and a forest green button-down, forgoing a tie as I usually do because I can't be bothered to learn to tie one. After I plopped down at the kitchen table and Hannah places a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast in from of me with a grand sweeping gesture of her hand to highlight the meal. "You're gonna give Vanna White a run for her money, sweet cheeks."

She chuckles and picks up a piece of toast off my plate, shoving it in my mouth. "That's enough outta you, eat your damn food." After biting down, I raise my hand to my forehead and pull it away quickly in a salute, "Yes Ma'am!"

After breakfast Hannah leans against the back of the couch, watching me putter around and doing the last of my prep before work.  I slide my shoes on and she holds out a bag for me. I tilt my head to the side as if to question what it is and she lets out a sigh that tears at my heart strings. "I figured you'd need lunch so I put some things together for you." The slightest blush on her cheeks tells me she's not sure how I'll react, but honestly, it just makes me want to hug her even more. I straighten myself up and open my arms widely. Without a second thought, she's burying her face against my chest and I wrap my arms around her, savoring the feeling of being close with her.

After a moment she pulls away, "I don't want to make you late..." She mumbles, tilting her head down and looking at the floor beneath my feet. God, she's so cute. I wish every day I left for work I got to see her bird's nest morning hair and sleepy green eyes standing in front of me to see me off for the day. The sound of a sniffle breaks me out of my thoughts. She's this upset that I'm leaving for the day? "If you're worried about being alone Hannah you could call my mom?"

"She works too, dummy. My sick leave still has an entire month left and I'm never going to get to see you...both." She quickly adds, not wanting to sound desperate. I take a deep breath and put my hands on her shoulders, slowly moving forward until my forehead rests on hers. Not a position I've found myself being bold enough to take, but it just feels... right. "You'll be okay, Banana. You can text me all the time and I'll be back before you know it." I try to make my voice as calm as possible, trying desperately hard not to let it show that now it feels unendurable to leave her for more than a few hours at a time.

Before everything happened, I would've called someone pathetic for a scene like this. It's different now though, we've both been through so much that the other has been our life raft, our salvation. Tears still streak down Hannah's rosy cheeks so I lift my hands to cradle her face, wiping what tears I can with my thumbs. "Hannah, please look at me," I ask with my forehead still resting on hers, appreciating the last few moments of her warmth while I can.

When her gaze greets mine I smile sadly, "I know today's going to be hard for both of us, but we've made it through worse right? We can do this." Her eyes fill up more quickly now, constant water pouring over the brim of her eyes and wetting her impossibly long eyelashes. "W-what if something happens to you, Jean." She whispers.

I pull my forehead off of hers, keeping the supple skin of her cheeks in my hands as I slightly move to look more deeply into her eyes. "I can't control my destiny, but I promise I will do everything in my power to come back to you, Hannah." She nods, pursing her lips. I exhale deeply before leaning in to place a kiss on her forehead, letting my lips linger for a few long moments. Hannah's eyes widen slightly in surprise but quickly relaxes, the volume of her tears decreasing.

"I'll see you soon, okay?"

She nods and squeaks out, "Okay, Jean."

-

When I get to work I notice the desk beside mine had been cleared out, all of Marco's are things gone... I wonder what they did with them? That's actually a huge piss off. One of the senior associates takes the seat that once belonged to my best friend and I glance over with furrowed eyebrows to see the asshole. The blonde guy, I'd never bothered to learn his name, pulls out a shoe box from under his desk and hands it to me. "These were the personal items Bodt had in his desk... we thought you might want them or know who to pass them along to."

"Thanks."

The day passes by excruciatingly slowly. Every once in a while I turn to tell Marco something funny but then see the eyebrow guy, who's name I learned was Erwin, and remember. I won't be able to laugh with him again. I won't be able to bitch about work or girls to him. I won't be able to go out for beers after work... nothing.

When lunch time rolls around I head to the break room with the lunch Hannah had cared enough to prepare for me. She had packed it in a brown paper bag which I found amusing as it made me feel like a kid in school. I take out the items she'd packed which included a sandwich, an apple, yogurt, and one of the muffins my mom made. As I go to unwrap the wax paper that contained my sandwich, I find a note taped to the bottom.

 _You better not be having a shit day._   
_Chinese tonight?_

_Banana_

 

A shit-eating grin quickly swept across my face. How she could manage to put a smile on my face with just ten words on a day like this made me fall for her more. It may not seem like much to someone else, but it's obvious she cares and for me, that's enough.

 **Jean**  
Thanks for lunch, Banana. Chinese sounds perfect.   
How are you holding up?

 **Banana**  
Oh you know, same as usual except it's annoyingly quiet without your motor mouth going all the time.

 **Jean**  
Aww, I knew you cared.

 **Banana**  
Yeah, yeah. Hurry up and work so we can hang out.

 **Jean**  
You got it, sweet cheeks. 

 

By the time five o'clock rolled around, my eyes had almost completely glazed over in a melancholy sadness that was mixed with boredom. My mind constantly switched between grieving Marco and wondering what Hannah was doing, if she was okay. After our moment this morning, I'm not quite sure how I should act? All I want is to hold her and shower her with affection, but I'm not sure that's what she wants... especially since soon. She and Marco had been talking about how it was fate that brought them together, how could I compete with that? How could I ever compete with the memory of him... would it be wrong to try and be with her? Would he be upset? Is she upset that seeing me is a constant reminder of him?

-

I spent the entire day alone with my own god damn thoughts and now I remember why I fucking hate myself. Why can't I shut my mind off? Why does it constantly race and fucking snowball thoughts until I've picked apart every minuscule detail and figured out the worst-case scenario for every possible outcome? I ended up doing a lot of cleaning the apartment since it was in dire need and washed all sheets and clothing. After all that I still had four god damn hours before Jean would come home... er, come over? I guess it's not his home...although I am getting used to having him around. I know I would've driven myself crazy if it weren't for him these past few weeks. With a sigh, I pick up the book Mikasa had lent me and started reading.

When Jean arrived after work his eyes scanned the room for me and once they found mine he raced over to where I was sitting on the couch. "Hannah, why are you crying?" He asked, concern seeping from his voice. I smile sadly at him and lift up the book, "This book is really depressing."

Jean exhales as he takes the book from my hands, dog-earring a page to keep my spot, and then tossing it across the room. "Hey! That's not my book, Jean!  Mikasa's gonna kill me if it gets ruined." The brunette frowns at the mention of her name and my eyebrows scrunch together. "What, you don't like Mikasa either?" Jeans cheeks start betraying him as they bloom with a gentle blush.

"Oh... you _like_ her. I can understand that she's quite beautiful."

"N-no, I don't." He sputters out nervously but I pat his head lightly. "It's okay, Jean. I won't tell her."

"I don't like her, there's nothing to tell." My eyes roll hard enough that they'll probably spasm. "I have eyes, it's obvious by your reaction to just her name that you do." He sighs and avoids my eyes, frowning slightly. I poke his shoulder to try and lighten the mood, "Now, let's order some food and you can tell me about your day."

 


	16. A Date and a Date with Marie pt 1

I groggily wake up to the sound of Hannah's alarm clock, for the second time in a row now she's still not letting me sleep on the couch. It's quite frustrating, but seeing her morning bedhead as I walk past her sleeping figure on the couch more than makes up for the frustration. When she hears me rustling around in the kitchen she sits up with a slight groan. I hand her a cup of coffee before lifting her legs for me to slip underneath and then placing them on my lap. "Hey, Hannah?"

Her gravelly morning voice hums in response as she takes a sip of her drink. "Was your dad a boxer?" She tilts her head like a confused puppy, "No, why?"

I let a sly smile cross my lips, "Because you're a knockout." Hannah facepalms as she lets out a breathy chuckle, "Yeah, yeah. I know I look horrid in the morning."

I smile genuinely at her, although my cheesy antics may be as a joke, I truly do find her to be one of the most beautiful women I've seen. "Banana, the only thing I would change about you is your last name." She groans, "Aren't you supposed to be going to work or something?" My smile turns into a frown, "Why are you so anxious to get rid of me? As I recall, yesterday you couldn't bear the thought of being without me."

Her face turns red and she swings her feet out of my lap to hit the cold floor, standing up and walking to the kitchen. Hannah grabs a brown paper bag from the fridge and drops it in my lap. I tilt my head up to see her on the backside of the couch. "Aww, see I knew you cared. I'm actually going out for lunch today with Christa though..."

Her expression fell and she walked around and grabbed the bag out of my lap. Before she took a step away, her phone rang on the table beside us. Who the fuck is calling her at seven am? She answers the phone and I just hear her part of the conversation, waiting patiently to be filled in when she hangs up. I cock an eyebrow at her and she shrugs, "Don't worry about it."

Hannah heads into her room to change, not bothering to look back at me or anything... what the hell was that about?

-

Erwin was a nice enough guy to sit next to, but I still catch myself glancing over and expecting that freckled fuck to be there. Every time I think of Marco I'm reminded about Hannah and what happened this morning. She didn't even say goodbye when I left... how is she acting so polar opposite from yesterday? Why wouldn't she tell me who called?

Lunch rolls around and I meet up with Christa at a café a few blocks away from the office. I peer around a little before my eyes fall upon the multi-faceted golden blonde hair that belonged to her. Her chin is propped up in her palm as her piercing blue eyes stare out the window, reminding me how breathtakingly beautiful she is. I take the seat beside her and when she smiles, my lips couldn't help to lift up as well at the sight of it.

"Hey Jean, it's nice to see you." Her feminine voice flows seamlessly into my ears as if she were a siren singing to me across the bumpy sea. "Hey, Christa. You wanted to catch up?" She places her delicate hand lightly on top of mine, "I was worried about you. How are you holding up?"

I take a deep breath, exhaling heavily before answering. "I'm getting by." She gives me a sympathetic glance before asking, "How did it happen?" God, that's a shitty thing to ask. How did she even find out he died if she didn't know what happened? "He and Hannah were driving somewhere and were in a car accident."

She tilts her head, "Hannah died too? I hadn't heard anything about her." That's kind of rude. _What the hell is wrong with her?_ "She didn't die, she's pretty beat up though and has a huge gash on her head. It was scary." I admit. Christa hums, "That's good I guess."

_"Good you guess?"_

She grimaces for a moment before backtracking, "I mean it's good she's ultimately okay, unfortunate she was injured." I narrow my eyes at her, " _Riiiight_." I forgot how oblivious she is to the people around her, clearly just selfishly motivated. She squeezes my arm, "I'd like to help if I can. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you, Jean." I accidentally let a small sigh escape my lips as she gently ghosts her fingers up and down my arm. She smirks, "We should hang out tomorrow night. My place? _For old time's sake?_ " At the moment my fogged-up brain just nodded silently, craving the type of intimacy that can help get out some frustration and anxious energy. How could I say no to an absolute goddess...

-

I was surprised when Marie had called me so early this morning, asking to spend the day with me. After hearing about Jean's date, the last thing I wanted was to be alone with my thoughts yet again. Why did it piss me off so much? We're just friends after all... I take my time dressing, although a cast arm makes everything take a bit longer anyway. My jeans and plain sky blue t-shirt are paired with one of the hoodies I got from a concert I had attended.

Once again I find myself staring at the face I don't recognize as my own in the mirror, my bruises now turned to a sallow yellow on my face making me look like some jaundiced motherfucker. The scrapes turned into to scabs that have begun to fall off and the stitched-up gash on my head is starting to become slightly covered with the brown colored peach fuzz of new hair. I gently touch around the area before sighing and grabbing a slouchy beanie to cover my embarrassing bald spot, not wanting to freak out small children on the bus and trying to save what little god damn dignity I have left. I can still hear Jean moving around the apartment, if he stayed much longer he's going to be late, so I decided to sit on my bed and wait for him to leave. I just don't want to say something I might regret or make him feel guilty for trying to have other friends or a relationship... he deserves to be happy and I know that I'm not enough to do that anyway.

The bus ride to Marie's is fairly short and I only felt a few stares from other passengers. Before I even knock on the door she answers and pulls my inside, wrapping me in a hug. "I've missed you, darling. I'm so glad you came." I smile sadly, her kindness towards me always reminds me of my mother. Not that it's a bad thing, it's just bittersweet. "I've missed you too, Marie. Thanks for thinking of me."

"I was hoping we could do some baking today! Do you mind going through some recipes with me and then heading to the grocery store to pick up ingredients?" I smile, "That sounds perfect."

After flipping through dozens of cookbooks, we finally decided on several kinds of muffins and cinnamon rolls. She thought things that were easy to grab for breakfasts would be the best option, especially because she knew Jean enjoys them... and so did Marco. We make our shopping list and hop into her car. While perusing the baking aisle, I grab chocolate chips off of the shelf but Marie stops me, "Oh, Hannah. Grab the milk chocolate ones instead, Jean and Marco like those better." I pause momentarily at the name and her eyes widen, realizing what she said and sighing. "Sorry, sweetie." She apologizes with a sad smile and I nod.

When we're back in the car I speak up after having been silent the rest of the time in the store. "What other things did Marco like?" Marie hums, "For holidays I always made him double chocolate chip brownies, those were his favorite but I have a suspicion it was only because I made them less often than other treats.  "I nod, "That makes sense... my mom used to only make pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving, it was my favorite as well. If I ever ate it any other day though, it just never tasted as good."

"Marco would never tell me when he didn't like something I cooked or baked though... he was much too kind and always ate anything I put in front of him. One day I swear I saw him gag on brussel sprouts but he managed to choke them all down, insisting they were delicious." I managed a breathy laugh, "He did seem like the type to do that."

My smile falters as I accidentally whisper my thoughts aloud. "I wish I had gotten to know him better." Marie places her hand on my knee, "I know honey, he would've loved getting to know you as Jean and I have... but we can't dwell on it too long. We just have to be grateful for the time and experiences we did share with him." I silently nod, knowing she's right but having a hard time letting it go.

 


	17. A Day And A Date With Marie pt. 2

"Could I tempt you to stay for dinner tonight, Hannah?" She inquires thoughtfully.

"How could I ever turn down a meal cooked by you?" I smile softly back at her.

"Perfect. Let Jean know?" She parks the car and glances over at me.

I clear my throat, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly, "Actually, would you mind?"

"Did he say something rude again? That boy is g-"

"No, no he didn't. I just don't want to be the one to interrupt his date..."

Marie's kind brown eyes soften, "Oh. Do you know who with?"

I roll my eyes, "Only the most beautiful damn woman I've ever seen. "

"Ugh, Christa." She says as we both get out of the car and grab the grocery bags from the back seat, walking inside and placing all the ingredients out on the counter.

"I never thought I'd hear you say something bad about someone, I'm incredibly intrigued." I lift an eyebrow at her, waiting for the rest of her opinion.

"That woman has been sinking her claws into Jean for years, constantly using him to make her feel wanted and then tossing him away when someone else catches her eye. He knows this yet he keeps going back to her like a lovesick puppy. I really don't get it."

I frown, "You know, I hated her the moment I met her on the way to the carnival. Her fake smile pissed me off, but now I'm more pissed off hearing how she treats Jean."

She laughs, "You have a good woman's intuition, Hannah. Maybe you can be the one to make him realize she's only trouble."

"If he's truly like an addict, he has to want to quit, right?"  Marie hums in response, passing me a recipe as she turns on the stereo, putting on her CD of The Beatles greatest hits.

\--

Mom had phoned me earlier in the day, letting me know that Hannah was staying over for dinner and I should come over as well. I sighed in relief that it was just my mom who had called her this morning, but I still couldn't help wondering why she wouldn't tell me that.  I couldn't stop thinking that she was out with one of Jaeger's friends or something, spending the entire afternoon pissed off at her or anxious thinking of meeting up with Christa tomorrow.

When I walked into my house, the scene before me caused a chuckle. My mom and Hannah were both covered in flour and cocoa powder, dancing around the kitchen and singing loudly to HELP! by The Beatles. I lean against the kitchen table as neither of them even heard me come into the house, waiting for someone to notice I was here.

Mom is the first to see me, jumping in surprise as I startled her. I laughed and Hannah turned around, her smile fading had my heart tighten in my chest. Why would the sight of me cause her to lose one of my favorite things?

"Keep going, don't let me interrupt." I smirk and my mom teasingly starts coming closer to me.

"Give me a hug, Jeany!"

I back away, placing my two index fingers in a cross as if she were a vampire.

"No way! Begone!"

My mom turns to Hannah, looking her up and down and laughing gently at her current state. "You should go take a shower sweetheart. Jean will show you where it is and give you some clean clothes."

She nods, "Would you mind tying up my cast first? I'm not supposed to get it wet."

"Of course dear."

I lead her up to my bedroom, grabbing a shirt out of the closet and a pair of sweats from my dresser.

"Here you go, Banana. Towels are folded up on the shelf in the bathroom."

She takes the pile of clothing and turns to leave the room, not bothering to say anything. I couldn't help but take a few quick steps up to her and wrap my hands around her waist. I don't know why she looks so depressed, but I can't just do nothing. I hug her, regardless of how messy it will make my clothes. She places her hands over mine for a moment, patting them before continuing forward to the bathroom.

After she finishes bathing, she walks out of the bathroom in my baggy clothes, her long hair practically black with it wet like this. It only enhances her sad jade eyes more, instantly making me feel more guilty. I don't know what I did to make her so upset, but I need to fix it.

"Hannah, please tell me what's wrong." I prompt, placing my hand on her shoulder.

She glances back at me, "You should start staying at home again, Jean. I appreciate you helping me out, but you were only staying to take care of me and I'm now able to do basic things on my own again."

My eyebrows scrunch up in confusion. I actually have really enjoyed being able to spend so much time with her and I thought she did too...

"Are you saying you don't want to be friends anymore?"

She rolls her eyes, "Don't be stupid, stupid. Of course I want to be friends."

I sigh in relief, at least that's not something I have to worry about.

"Did I do something wrong?" At this point I'm rapid firing out all of the questions running through my head.

She shakes her head no.

"Do you not like having me around or something?"

Hannah sighs, "Jean. Have you stopped to consider that I've lived on my own for years and in an instant all of my independence was taken away from me? I'm going to be starting work soon too and I need to start getting back to reality, to how things were before."

She's right that I hadn't thought about how much of an adjustment it might be to go from being alone all the time to constantly having someone around. I just didn't realize it was an issue for her because she never mentioned it... but I guess I never asked.

"If that's really what you want Hannah... I'll drive you home after dinner and pack up my things."

She nods and silently walks back to the kitchen.

After dinner Hannah had offered to do the dishes, and after being stubborn enough to win against my mother, was in the kitchen scrubbing plates.

Mom took this as an opportunity to pull me into my room. She closed the door before smacking the back of my head with her hand, "What the hell are you doing?!"

I rub the back of my head, "Ow! What the fuck?!"

"I thought you liked Hannah? What are you doing with that stupid woman again?"

I roll my eyes, "I know you hate Christa but you don't have to be so obvious about it."

She smacks the back of my head again, the same spot as before and now it's throbbing in pain. "She keeps treating you like crap, Jean! Are you trying to ruin your chances with Hannah?!"

Sure Christa is more of a fling than anything else, but I know that and so does she. We kind of just lean on each other when we need the kind of connection that only happens in intimate moments. I just keep misinterpreting the connection in those intimate moments but that doesn't leave her at fault.

"I'm not ruining anything, from the beginning there was never a chance. She doesn't like me in that way, I'm nothing like Marco."

This time my mother resorts to flicking my forehead to induce pain rather than a smack. " _Doesn't like you in that way_? Tell me why she was moping around all day, hmm?"

"Oh please, she was singing and dancing with you when I came in!" I argue.

"After I spent hours trying to get a damn real smile out of her!"

"She's barely talked to me all day, Mom. She doesn't care."

My mother pinches the bridge of her nose and breathes deeply to try and calm herself down before addressing me once again.  She looks me straight in the eyes, "If you don't have feelings for her, that's one thing. If you do and you don't take a chance, you will regret it for the rest of your life."

I just nod, letting her know I've heard her. She opens the door and lets me leave.

I head back to the kitchen and dry the dishes Hannah's washed, putting them in their proper places. We're quiet, neither of us daring to break the silence. I couldn't stand the thought of Hannah not being my friend anymore and that's a real risk if I do say something. I don't even fully understand how I feel for Christ sake. Do I even want a relationship? I've never been the relationship kind of guy...

\--

Jean quietly gathers his things while I sit on the couch and read Mikasa's depressing as fuck book. Apparently when I'm upset I just want to read shit that makes me more upset. What an amazing self-preservation tactic, Hannah.

He stops at the door and drops his bag on the floor, "Hannah?" He calls out quietly and I turn to face him.

"Yeah Jean?"

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

My heart aches at the notion of him leaving and I wish I could tell him, but I can't. I can't get in the way of his happiness, no matter how lonely it might make me. I especially can't let him stay here, knowing that the longer he stays means the more attached to him I will become, seeing as the past few weeks we've already formed an intense friendship.

Clearly after this morning I can't even handle knowing he wants to even hang out with someone else and I can't stay hurt over something like that. I can't do that to him and I can't do that to myself, I can't lose someone else. I just can't.

"I'm sure, Jean. You need to sleep in your own bed instead of my lumpy ass couch." I smile sadly at him, thinking about how I won't get to see him in the morning.

He takes a deep breath, "Okay. If you need me I can be here in fifteen minutes, even if it's two am."

I smile, "Thanks Jean."

...and just like that, he's gone.


	18. Black Sunday

Mom gives me the stink eye when I walk back into the house, "Didn't bother smoothing things over, I see." I glare at her, "She's used to living alone and wanted her independence back. I can't force her to let me stay there forever." She rolls her eyes, "It's your life, Jean. Just don't bother to come crying to me when Christa rips out your heart again and you blew your shot with someone who could love you as you deserve." I grumble curses as I take the stairs back to my room, carelessly tossing my bag on the floor before collapsing onto my mattress. Why does she even care so much if I'm with Christa rather than Hannah? Christa is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, who couldn't be happy with someone like that?

Hannah is beautiful in a different way, and we've been through so much together now, but I just don't even know if we would be compatible in a relationship anyway . She was all over Marco, especially at the carnival and I'm not kind like him or attentive in the way that I'm sure he was. I can't live up to those kinds of standards or expectations, I wouldn't be a good boyfriend.

After an hour of torturing myself mentally, I send Hannah a text.

 **Jean**  
Whatcha doin

 **Banana**  
Watching the DVD's you forgot here. You?

 **Jean**  
Wishing I could watch the DVD's I forgot there.

 **Banana**  
Your loss, man. You did it to yourself. You'll just have to pick them up tomorrow after work I guess.

 **Jean**  
I've got plans tomorrow evening actually. Maybe the day after?

 **Banana**  
K

For some reason, that struck a nerve she hadn't intended to hit. Am I losing out? I mean, I know I'm losing the chance of being with her, but I can't figure out if the risk is worth the reward. I'd be crushed if she wasn't in my life anymore...

-

The next day I found myself tapping my pen on my desk mindlessly. I didn't realize until Erwin spoke up, "Something wrong, Kirstein?" I shook my head no, not wanting to bother this guy with my shit.

Just before noon I feel a tap on my shoulder and glance behind me to see a familiar face. My eyes widen slightly and I turn around in my chair, taking in the sight of a normal-looking Hannah. She's covered her bruised face with makeup, she's got these skin-tight jeans on with a shirt that hugs her curves perfectly, and a slouchy brown beanie to hide her wound. "Hey Jean, you mentioned yesterday that you'd take this lunch I made today, so I thought I'd bring it for you." I'm still too busy admiring how good she looks to respond. I've only really seen her in my clothes lately, which is cute in its own way, but this is different...

Erwin scoots his chair over and kicks my foot. "Hi, I'm Erwin." He stands up and offers his hand to her. "Hannah."

Erwin smiles at her and I see a blush rise to her cheeks, instantly pissing me off. I clear my throat to gain her attention once again, "Thanks, Hannah." She smiles awkwardly, "Sorry to bug you at work though. I guess I'll see you another day since you've got stuff going on tonight."

Erwin's ears perk up, "Hannah, seeing as you're free, let me take you out for a drink tonight." Hannah looks down at her feet for a moment as I sit here silently waiting for her response, my heart racing with worry. Please don't sa- "Okay." Her voice comes out as a squeak.

Erwin grins, "Great. I'll meet you at the lounge on fifth at six?" She nods and we both watch as she walks away, her luscious brow hair swaying with each step. "Jeez, you're friends with her?" Erwin asks with a raised eyebrow. I frown slightly, "Yes. Don't be a dick or I will cut your balls off."

He laughs and holds his hands defensively in front of him, "I'm a perfect gentleman." I shake my head and before returning to my work, send a quick text to Christa.

 **Jean**  
Let's meet at the lounge on fifth for a drink before heading to your place.

 **Christa**  
Sure, could be fun.

 **Jean**  
See you at 630.

-

Last night I even tried to smooth things over by inviting him to come by but I guess he's got another date with Christa. When I stopped by Jean's work with the lunch from yesterday I hadn't expected his coworker to join in our conversation, let alone ask me out. In the moment I thought that I should take a page from Jean's book and try to date someone, it's probably a good distraction, right? God knows I haven't gotten laid in ages, although there's no way I'd actually show my body in this state to anyone.

I made it to the lounge a little early and sat at the bar, asking for an old fashioned with Four Roses. He pours it and as I take my first sip I frown. "Too strong, sweetheart?" The bartender asks with a smirk, I'm sure thinking I couldn't handle anything that wasn't pink and full of sugar. "Not at all, just brings back memories." He hums and crosses his arms on the wooden bar, leaning in closer to me. I lift an inquisitive eyebrow at him and he smirks, "What's a pretty girl like you doing _alone_ in a shabby place like this?" The fact that this asshole emphasized the word 'alone' sent a chill down my spine. What the fuck was that? 

Quickly an arm was placed around my shoulders.  I glanced up to see Erwin and felt my self relax. "She's not alone, actually. Just waiting for me." Then he turns to me, letting his hand move from around my shoulders to lift my chin, turning my face slightly to place a kiss on my cheek. "Sorry I'm late, Honey." He says against my cheek before turning my face more to whisper in my ear, "I'm sorry but play along, I don't trust this guy."

"I guess you'll just have to make it up to me later," I say with a wink. The bartender's eyes narrowed as he looks back and forth at the two of us.

Erwin broke the silence first, "I'll take a Black Sunday, thanks." I lean into Erwin's ear, brushing my hand on top of his blonde hair as I continue playing the part to keep this skeezy guy away from me, "You know when Wild Turkey is the _least_ potent alcohol in a beverage that it's a good drink." He laughs and pulls the bottom of my stool to be closer to him. The blonde slings an arm over my shoulder before closing most of the space between us and lowly says, "I like a woman who knows her liquor."

I pull my face away just as the bartender drops off Erwin's drink. Someone grabs my drink and I turn around to cuss them out but my eyes land upon a familiar head of brown hair drinking from my glass. He flags down the bartender once more, "She ordered Four Roses, this is Jim Beam." The man narrows his eyes at Jean, "You weren't here, how would you know what she ordered?"

"She's my friend, I'm not an idiot." Jean slides the glass in front of the guy and he rolls his eyes but takes the drink away to get started on another. "H-hey Jean. Thought you were busy tonight?" He glares at the arm around my shoulder and then his eyes flicker up to mine, showing an intensity I haven't seen before. "It just so happens that this is actually where we were meeting up anyway."

 


	19. Oops

_Previously on Roses For Jean..._

_"H-hey Jean. Thought you were busy tonight?" He glares at the arm around my shoulder and then his eyes flicker up to mine, showing an intensity I haven't seen before. "It just so happens that this is actually where we were meeting up anyway."_

_...Annnnd we're back._  
___

"Oh."

Great, now I have to watch Christa hang off of Jean's arm all fucking night. I take a deep breath and grab my fixed drink from the bartender, taking a bigger sip than I probably should've.

Erwin's eyes widen as he glanced at the door, so obviously, I knew who it was. I shook his arm off of me and propped my elbows up on the bar, making an effort to not look as pissed off as I feel. I get asked out on a date and he ogles some other chick, plus the other chick is my best friend's gross ass date. Fuck this. "Christa!" Jean grabs her attention, consequently losing my own. I have no interest in interacting with this dumb bitch.

There's a light tap on my shoulder before two delicate arms wrapped around my waist. "Oh, Hannah, Jean told me what happened. I'm so glad you're okay!" I rolled my eyes, had _she_ even believed the shit coming out of her mouth? "Thanks," I reply coldly, prying her hands off of my waist.

"Hannah, I never noticed you had such beautiful hair." Her voice takes a different tone but I try to ignore it as I take another sip of my drink, staring straight ahead at the wall of alcohol in front of me. "You shouldn't cover it up, it's not doing you any favors you know." Before I had time to react she pulled the beanie off of my head, putting my embarrassment at an all-time high. I sit still for a moment before downing my drink and spinning around, shooting her the evilest glare I could.

"Oops." She said, smiling cutely. I look over to Jean whose eyes are widened, but it's clear he doesn't know what to do or how to feel about it and I can't blame him for that. "I don't give a shit what you do to me, just don't fuck my friend and toss him to the curb like before." I snatch my hat out of her well-manicured hand and walk out of the bar, holding back the tears as my lip trembled until I made it outside.

\--

"I don't give a shit what you do to me, just don't fuck my friend and toss him to the curb like before." Hannah grabs her hat out of Christa's hand and confidently walks out of the bar. Erwin lets out a low chuckle, "Well that was interesting. I've never seen a chick with a bald spot before." Christa takes the now vacant seat beside Erwin, "Right? What a freak." She giggles. As soon as those words left her lips I walked away. _Who the fuck does she think she is? Who does that?  
_

After exiting the bar I look around for Hannah, she couldn't be far... right? Knowing she most likely walked, I run a few blocks toward her apartment before I come across her. I notice she didn't bother putting her beanie back on but I couldn't care less. It didn't bother me, but I knew it bothered her. "HANNAH!" I shout but she doesn't turn around.

I speed up and try again, "HANNAH, STOP!"

She hears me this time and halts in her tracks, glancing back at me with the most heart-wrenching look I've ever seen, tears streaking her face. I sprint the rest of the way towards her and wrap my arms around her shoulders. Hannah's arms snake around my waist, pulling me closer and burying her face into the crook of my neck as she sobs. I shift my arms so the hand is resting in the small of her back to push her against me, the other is holding the back of her head as I weave my fingers through her hair.

"I'm so sorry, Hannah," I whisper against her hair and she takes a few deep breaths to try and calm herself. She sniffles and pulls away from my chest to speak, "It's okay. God, I'm going to start taking over Eren's fucking nickname soon if I keep this shit up." I smile sadly at her, "I won't ever call you Cry Face." She forces out a breathy laugh.

"Wanna walk with me back to my car? I'll take you home after." She nods, "Sure."

When Hannah loosens her grip and the warmth of her body receeds from my own, I realize how much I crave her touch. As we walk the few blocks to where I parked my car, she told me about the day she spent with my mom, apologizing for acting the way she had. Our shoulders were close together as we ambled, making the tops of our hands brush against each other occasionally. Every time they did, I felt a surge of electricity flow through me until finally I just weaved my fingers into hers. Although it's not the first time our hands have touched, this time is different. A touches intention changes the intensity of the gesture. This time it wasn't a touch offering condolences or support, it was one of affection. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Hannah glance at me before taking a deep breath and giving my hand a soft squeeze.

"This is your car, right?" Her voice is soft as she speaks. I nod and open the passenger side door for her. She hesitated to get in, glancing down at our clasped hands for a moment before releasing her delicate grasp and taking a seat. When I get into the car I smile at Hannah as I pull it into drive. In a burst of confidence, I set my hand on top of the one she's resting on her leg closest to me, wrapping my fingers around the top to rest under her palm. I don't dare look at her, afraid to get distracted while driving. The last thing I want to do is have her scared of being in the car with me...

We drove in comfortable silence and as I find a parking spot and put the car in park, I regretfully pull my hand away from hers. I leaned my head against my seat headrest and gaze at the woman next to me. "Want me to walk you to your door?" Hannah nods, "Yes please."

I lean over and unbuckle her seat belt before mine and slip out of the car. We walk up the stairs and I sigh when we get to her apartment door. She sticks her key in the lock and turns it, not opening the door just yet. I tilt my head in confusion and she hugs me. "Thanks, Jean."

I pat her shoulder, pulling her out of the hug and instead letting my forehead rest against hers. I close my eyes, reveling once again in the feeling of being so close to her until my eyebrows cringe as my inner monologue starts creeping in. _W_ _hat if she doesn't like you? What if she does and it doesn't work out? What if this ruins your friendship?_

"Jean?" She breathes, her voice barely a whisper that makes my heart palpitate. I open my eyes to find her green ones looking back at me with worry. I sigh and move my head up, letting my lips press against her forehead in a tender kiss. "Sweet dreams, Banana."

 


	20. Mother Knows Best

Mom's waiting for me when I get home and when she sees that I have a lazy smile on, she calls me out on it. "Fun date with Christa?" She questions, surprisingly without a sarcastic tone.

"No, actually. She's a huge bitch." Mom chuckles, "So what made you finally accept the truth?" I shrug, "She pulled some dumb shit with Hannah."

A sly smile pulls across her lips, "Why was Hannah there?" I rub the back of my forehead, "She came by my work this afternoon to drop off lunch for me and then Erwin asked her out." She hums, "She's a pretty girl, I'm not surprised." I roll my eyes, "Yeah well I just didn't trust the guy so I changed my date with Christa to meet up a the same place."

"Interesting... So what happened?" Mom asks, motioning with her hands for me to get on with it. "Christa ultimately tried, and succeeded, in embarrassing her by snatching her hat, pretending that she didn't know about her injury I had mentioned yesterday. When Hannah left, she and Erwin laughed about it, so I left too."

"And you came to Hannah's rescue then? Such a gentleman." I roll my eyes at the comment but feel my cheeks heating up. "Aww, Jeany! Did something happen?! Please tell me she's going to be my daughter in law." I flick her shoulder for the latter comment. "I held her hand," I admitted. She smiles a huge shit-eating grin, "How'd it feel?"

"Mom!"

She swats my arm, "Oh for once in your life just indulge me." I take a deep breath and close my eyes, collecting my thoughts. "At first it was as if I was electrocuted by sticking a fork in a wall socket or something, but then just felt... natural. Like I should've been doing this all along. "

"Because you should've." She states, holding out a hand matter-of-factly to emphasize her point. My eyes return to the floor, "I just can't get over her and Marco. They said it was fate that they met! I can't top that..."

Mom takes a deep breath, softening her features even more as she puts her hand on my shoulder. "They weren't star-crossed lovers, Jean. Sure they shared a few nice moments, but they didn't develop the same deep connection that you two have. Maybe ultimately she met Marco for you to meet and help each other, to navigate the world together when Marco left. How is that not romantic?" Our brown eyes meet, "You really think so? You don't think they were meant to be?" My voice comes out quieter than I had intended. "I think they were destined to meet, I have no doubt about that. What I also know is that you and Hannah have incredible chemistry and bond that I've never seen before. You were meant to be together, Jean, I just know it."

Lying in bed that night, I caught myself doing something I haven't done in a very long time... I fell asleep smiling like an idiot in love.

-

I wasn't expecting Jean to follow me, let alone hold my hand. The heaviness in my chest combined with the flutter in my stomach just solidified everything. I wanted to be with Jean in every sense of the word, but I have no idea what he wants. Was he just trying to console me because he knew I was embarrassed? It felt... different, but maybe it wasn't that way for him. When he kissed my forehead as he did on his first day back at work, it made my knees weak. His sweet gestures confuse the shit out of me but I never question him, afraid he will stop. That's the last thing I want, but I know I'm just hurting myself in the long run.

Another morning I wake up from the sun in my eyes - I really need to buy some blackout curtains. It's a good thing I woke up when I did because Eren was kind enough to take the day off to come with me to my doctor's appointment and he had been texting me since seven am.

 **Cry Face**  
Good morning!

 **Cry Face**  
Wakey wakey, Hanny!

 **Cry Face**  
Time to wake up, sleepy head!

 **Cry Face**   
GET YOUR DAMN LAZY ASS OUT OF BED!

 **Hannah**  
I'm up, damn!

 **Cry Face**  
I'm coming over. Be ready in 15.

 **Hannah**  
Damn it Eren, you know I'm crippled! That's not enough time!

 **Cry Face**  
Crippled? Oh fuck off, you're just wearing a cast.

Get your ass up and dressed. We have your appointment in an hour.

 **Hannah**  
Fine. But I'm going to complain about it the whole time.

-

Eren comes banging on my door just as I'm slipping on my socks. "Come in!" I shout from the couch. "You need to start locking your door you fucking idiot." I smile, "So I've heard." He raises an eyebrow but doesn't question me. "Let's go."

When we get into his car Eren takes a minute to look me over, inspecting my outfit. "I've never seen that sweater before..." He says in a suspicious tone."It's Jean's." I reply with a lazy shrug. His eyes narrow, "It's too big and looks stupid. Why are you wearing that asshole's clothes anyway? Didn't you say he was a jerk?"

I frown, "First of all, I don't care if it looks stupid. Secondly, it's comfy. Finally, I did say that and he kind of is, but that jerk is the only one who bothered to try and help me out while I could barely do anything on my own, unlike _some_ people I consider friends."

"You wouldn't have let us help you even if we tried!" Eren defends. "You didn't even try, Eren. That's beside the point though, Jean's one of my best friends now and I expect you not to be a total asshat to him." He grumbles and puts the car into drive, "Whatever, Hannah. Don't expect me to like him though."

"I don't."

The rest of the drive was quiet, although not as totally awkward as it could've been. While sitting in the waiting room, Eren speaks out. "Do you want me to come in with you?" My eyes meet his worried ones, "I'm getting my cast off and stitches taken out, it might be kind of gruesome. I'd like it if you came with me, but I understand if you would feel uncomfortable with it." He nods, "I'll come."

-

"Well Miss Watson, even with a deep laceration to your head you've healed faster than expected. You must have been able to rest a significant amount for your body to bounce back ahead of schedule." My lips curl up slightly and I glance down at my clasped hands, knowing it was because of Jean's constant help. "I suppose I had a good nurse."

The doctor chuckles, "I suppose you're right. Now let's get those stitches out first and then I'll cut off that cast." My hands grip Eren's as the stitches slide out of their puncture holes. His face is white as a sheet, looking down at the floor instead of anywhere near meeting my eyes. I couldn't help but laugh at him, "Geez Jaeger, I hadn't realized you were so delicate."

"I AM NOT!" He shouts in his defensive, earning a glare from Dr. Harper. "Sorry." He mutters before narrowing his eyes at me. I shrug, thinking of how I don't think Eren could've handled caring for me after the accident seeing how squeamish he's being now. Jean had to change my bandages twice a day for a week straight, I can't imagine that wasn't a gruesome task...

Dr. Harper blots the spots of blood newly created from taking out the thick thread from my scalp."I'm going to have to cover it for a few days just as a precaution to avoid infection, so you'll have to keep up with changing the bandages." He turns to Eren, "I'm sure you'll be able to handle that." My friend just awkwardly scratches the back of his neck, not wanting to admit that he's probably not going to be the one doing it. "It's no problem, sir," I respond and he simply nods, getting ready to saw off my cast.

The grating sound made me cringe, but the immense relief I felt as fresh air wrapped around my arm was incredible. After a quick moment, I scratched my arm, getting the itch I've felt for weeks. The doctor laughs, "That's a pretty common reaction. Your left arm is going to be a little weaker for a while until you build up the muscle once again, but otherwise, you're back to life as normal. I'll need to see you in a month for a follow up though."

I thank the doctor and stop at reception to make an appointment before we leave. When we get into the car, Eren once again decides to speak. I don't know what it is about him and talking in the car, but he just seems to speak his mind when he gets in. Maybe he just feels safer talking in an enclosed space...

"So I guess Jean really did take good care of you, huh?" I nod with a slight smile, focusing on my hands and remembering how his had felt entwined within it. "For weeks he did almost everything for me, not to mention all of the time he spent in the hospital. Prepared meals, cleaned my apartment, changed the disgusting bandages covering my gross wounds twice a day. For over a _month._ He kept me sane, really." Eren hums sadly and I lift my head to face him, "He's really not as big of an asshole as we thought, Eren."

"I guess not. I'm glad he was able to be there for you."

"Me too."

-

 **Jean**  
Wanna hang out tonight?   
I'll cook dinner.

 **Banana**  
Only if you bring a movie.

 **Jean**   
You got it, Banana.

-

When I open the door to Hannah's apartment I see Eren putting his jacket on. He quirks an eyebrow at me, "So you just waltz in like you own the place, Kirschtein?" I try and play it off for Hannah's sake, knowing she wouldn't want us to argue in front of her. "Considering I pretty much lived here, yeah."

Eren glares at me but shuts his mouth. He relaxes his expression as he turns back to Hannah, "See you, Hanny, let me know if I can help again."

"Isn't it a bit late for that?" I quipped, unable to hold back as I think about what a shitty fucking friend he's been to her. "Fuck you, Jean. I'm not the one doting on her like a lovesick puppy."

"Bye Eren, say hi to Mikasa for me." I flinch slightly at her name, the action causing a frown to flicker across Hannah's face before she's seemingly able to control it. He walks out the door with a wave and I close it behind him. "You didn't have to say that, Jean." She bites the inside of her cheek anxiously, hoping her friends not upset with her.

"He's fine, Hannah."

She sighs and I try to cheer her up, "So you got your cast off today, right?" Hannah smiles and stands, doing a playful twirl as if she's in a beautiful dress. "I must be in a museum because you are truly a work of art." She laughs it off, "Get your cute ass in the kitchen before I get hangry." I couldn't help but tease her for what I imagine as a slip of the tongue, "You've been checking out my ass?" Her eyes widen and cheeks turn a light rose color but then she suddenly has a moment of cockiness, "You've seen mine so I figure it's only fair."

I shake my head with a grin and head to the kitchen to whip up the fanciest fucking mac and cheese known to man. When I bring a bowl over to her on the couch and plop down next to her she lets out a giggle."Jean, you truly are a master chef! Look at this gourmet meal you've prepared for us. _C'est Magnifique!_ " She kisses her fingers in an impersonation of a French chef.

After eating she grabs out bowls and heads to the kitchen to wash the dishes. "Don't worry about the dishes, Banana. I've got it." Hannah narrows her eyes, "You hate washing dishes. Plus you cooked, it's only fair." I shrug, "Just let me do something nice for you, idiot."

"Okaaaay." The apprehension clear in her voice but I just grab her shoulders to turn her around and gently push her away from the sink.

 


	21. Cringy Nose Boop

Hannah sits at the kitchen table as I clean and I feel her gaze burning into the back of my head.

"Stop staring, Hannah," I call out without even a glance at her.

"That's spooky." She chuckles.

"We should change that bandage after I'm done."

Hannah's silent but I imagine she nodded.

"You know I can't see you nod, right?"

"It's kind of frightening how you know these things, Jean. I hadn't realized you were so perceptive."

I look over my shoulder at her, meeting her eyes as I sigh, "You're on my mind so much I should charge you rent."

She turns away shyly and her voice comes out a tone that she only uses when she's embarrassed, "Very funny, Jean."

Hannah's chair scrapes against the floor, "I'm going to go get the supplies ready. Meet me in the bathroom when you're done."

After she leaves the room all I could do was shake my head in disbelief, wondering how it is that someone could be so adorable, how someone could manage to sneak into my heart so easily. I don't think anyone else could have had this kind of effect on me...

When I finish up with the dishes, I walk to the bathroom and lean against the door, catching Hannah frowning at herself in the mirror. She moves her face around, assessing the almost disappeared bruises. They had been so severe that it took forever to get to this point, especially since she's an idiot who poked at them to, and I quote _, 'See how much they hurt._ ' Fucking idiot.

"You know if you would just leave them alone they would've been gone by now."

She sighs, "I know, I know. I just can't help it."

I shake my head, "Alright, let me take a look at the damage."

Hannah takes a deep breath and sits down on the side of the tub. I carefully take of the bandage, trying to be mindful of not pulling her hair. I grab the alcohol and put it on a piece of cotton, lending her my hand as we used to do when I would clean her wound in the past. She grabs it tightly, hissing as the alcohol hits her skin.

"How's it look, Jean? From the color of Eren's face earlier I figure it looks pretty gruesome."

I chuckle, "What a pussy. This is nothing, just a few small spots with blood."

She smiles, "Typical pansy-ass cry face."

A grin sweeps across my face, for some reason I've always found her cursing somewhat endearing. Probably because it meant that she wasn't holding back her opinion.

I finish replacing the small bandage and boop her nose to signify I'm done.

_WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK, I BOOPED HER NOSE? HOW OLD AM I?!_

A furious blush covers my face as I curse at myself. She bursts out laughing, practically doubling over and trying to catch her breath. I turn and walk away in embarrassment, going to pop the movie into its player and turning off the lights on my way back to the couch.

I hadn't realized Hannah changed into her pajamas until she walked in front of me to take her spot on the couch. Although the other day I had seen her in those tight jeans, I still haven't adjusted to seeing her in clothes that actually fit her instead of my baggy ones that hang off of her body.

She was wearing form-fitting black yoga pants that made her ass look impossibly round and a tank top that showed off cleavage I had forgotten she even had. It didn't quite hit the waistband of her pants, leaving a strip of her skin showing. I thank every god that I didn't get a nose bleed from just looking at her.

She sat cross-legged on the couch and leaned over to flick my forehead, "Are we gonna watch the movie or are you just going to keep staring at the menu screen?"

I shake my head, blinking the image of Hannah's body away from my eyes for the moment before pressing play.

Choosing Hannibal Rising, in hindsight, was probably not the greatest idea. I wasn't even sure if she liked thriller type movies since we've always watched comedies to cheer ourselves up.

Every once in awhile I see her cringe at the violence, but this time I noticed the goosebumps on her arms. I grab the throw blanket from the top of the couch and unfold it on top of her.

"Good lookin' out, Jean."

Hannah spreads the soft blanket over herself before frowning slightly and then tossing half of it over me, leaving part of her uncovered since the blanket was small.

I hold open an arm, "Come here, then we can share the blanket without you still being freezing."

She scooches closer, resting her head on my shoulder. I couldn't help but smile lightly down at her, over the moon that I get to be close to her in this context. I lean down and rest my head on top of hers, being mindful not to touch her wound. I inhale deeply, taking in her signature scent of honey with a hint of vanilla. As I let out a breath, my body moved on its own and I kissed the top of her head before resting my cheek against the hair on the side of her face.

Hannah tilts her head up to meet my eyes, her bright emerald depths search my own as I feel my chest tighten up with a feeling I'm now so familiar with when around her.

"Jean?" Her voice is breathy and alluring.

"Hannah, can I ask you something?" I reply, hoping I'm making the right decision right now.

She nods, not tearing her eyes away from mine as she pulls her legs up to her chest and lays them across my lap, bringing her just that much closer to me.

"I've just been wondering..."

She hums in response, waiting.

"Do your lips taste as good as they look?"

A shining smile lights up her face, easing my worries and my heart is practically beating out of my chest. I hope she can't feel it...

Her smile fades into a playful smirk, "Why don't you find out?"

I lift her chin up with my thumb and forefinger, cautiously closing the gap between us until our noses graze each other. Her hot breath against my lips is overwhelming and I can't hold myself back any longer as I press my lips softly against hers.

When I pull away, I let my hand come up and rest against her cheek, my thumb tenderly caressing her skin. She closes her eyes and leans into my touch for a long moment. Hannah looks up to me and once again her magnetic gaze holds mine captive.

I let out a breathy laugh, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

She smiles and reaches for my other hand, carefully placing her fingers between the spaces of my hand.

I look down at our clasped hands and whisper my thoughts aloud accidentally, "They fit perfectly."

 


	22. Your Mom

After a long silent moment Hannah squirms to get out of my arm but I wrap it around her waist tightly.  She laughs and places a hand on top of mine to try and pry it off. "Try all you want Watson, You're not getting away from me that easily now."  Hannah pats my hand, "I'm not trying to get away from you, dumb ass. I'm trying to get closer."

Instantly my grip loosens and she adjusts herself to sit on my lap, knees on either side of me. " _Holy fuck_ " I mumble under my breath and she laughs as she presses her lips to mine in a needy kiss. I couldn't help but smile against her lips, "Stop." Kiss."Smiling " Kiss. "And" Kiss."Kiss me, idiot."

I laugh, "I know it's stupid but I can't."

She pulls away and gazes into my eyes with her hazy emerald depths, flashing me the most beautiful smile I've ever seen her give. With a sigh, I rest my forehead against hers and place a hand on her back, rubbing slow circles with my fingers against the fabric of her top.  Her eyes close as she relaxes and I notice her stifle a yawn. I slip my hands under her thighs and grasp onto them as I stand up.  She lets out the cutest squeak before leaning into my chest and accepting the gesture.  

Once in her bedroom, I distribute her weight differently and pull back the blanket before sliding her under.  Her sleepy smile is so charming, it's one of the many things I've genuinely missed the last few days... "Jean please stay." She quietly pleads. 

How could I resist my dream girl asking me to fall asleep next to her? I turn off the lights and clear my throat, "I uh, don't really have any clothes to wear to sleep.." She releases a slightly annoyed breath, "Just sleep in your boxers Jean, it's no big deal."

I nervously slip out of my shirt and step out of my pants. As I lift up the covers to climb in next to her, she giggles. "Banana you know it's not polite to laugh at people, especially when they're practically naked." Even in the dark, I could see the blush on her face at my comment. 

"It's just that the heart print on your underwear is like out of a cartoon where someone gets pantsed," I smirk at her, that's the exact reason why I even bought these and I love that it was her first thought upon seeing them.  I lay down on my side, facing the beautiful brunette beside me as she stares up at the ceiling. 

"What's on your mind?" I question, carefully watching her expression as well as I could in the darkened room. 

Instead of answering she turns on her side and scoots closer to me, wrapping an arm around my waist to pull herself against my chest. Hannah's hands wander as she lets her fingers caress my abdomen and chest before ghosting them with the softest touches up and down my arm. The electricity I feel from her touch could restart my heart if it ever stopped beating. I run my fingers through her hair, letting the strands flow through the spaces between my fingers like a babbling brooks stream through river rocks.  I couldn't help but worry though as she hadn't answered my question earlier 

I lean down to whisper in her ear, "Are you okay, Hannah?" She places a light kiss in the crook of my neck before backing away from me enough for her eyes to meet mine.  A delicate smile graces her lips and the softness of her eyes leaves me like putty in her hands. "For the first time in years Jean, I think I am. " Hannah's voice is dripping with emotion and certainty. 

She closes the gaps between our lips and gifts me a soul-stirring kiss, one that left my lips tingling and my heart palpitating. A kiss that I would remember as the moment I knew I loved her.

-

I wake up to the sound of Jean's phone and groan, leaning over to my bedside table to see who would be calling at this ungodly hour.  Seeing it's Marie, I answer his phone. "Good morning, no one is available to come to the phone right now. Please leave a message after the beep."  My voice comes out as groggy as I feel.  " _You_ must have slept well seeing your signature brand of sarcasm is awake before you are."

"Ha-ha. What can I do for you, oh wise one?" She chuckles, "Well, seeing as you answered my son's phone at 6 am it answers my question of where he is.  Although I'm not particularly surprised."

"We fell asleep watching movies. Sorry to worry you, Marie. "

" _Riiiight_ , movies.  Alright, Hannah, I'll leave you two to cuddle. Bring him home for dinner and stay awhile." She instructs as I yawn, "Whatever you say, Mom." My eyes open wide, no longer tired as I realize the word that just came out of my mouth. "M-Marie I-"

"Don't worry about it Hannah, I've grown to love you as I would my own daughter. You can call me whatever you want."

" _I love you too_." My voice comes out faint and I hang up the phone. Oh god. I do love Marie, but how would my mom feel knowing I've unknowingly attached myself to someone else in a way that was only meant for her?

Jean grumbles as he rolls over, placing a hand around me and pulling my back against the radiant warmth of his chest.   
He nuzzles his face against my neck. "Who did you say that to? Do I need to beat someone up to secure your affection?" His gravelly tone has a tinge of jealously attached to it.

"Your Mom, actually." 

 


	23. Don't Say It If You Don't Mean It

Jean quietly lets out a breathy laugh, his hot breath against my neck is making goosebumps raise my skin. "Awww, you love my mom." He teases.

I can't stop thinking about my mom. Her smiling face, her rosy cheeks covered with sun kisses, the slight smell of cinnamon that somehow followed her around..."It's okay, you know." Jean tries to soothe as if we're telepathically connected. He turns me around to face him and touches his forehead to mine.

"Do you think my mom would be upset?" I whisper before closing my eyes. Jean tenderly cups my cheek, letting his thumb trace along the soft skin to wipe away a few stray tears. "Just because you love my mom it doesn't mean you love your mom any less, Hannah. I think she would be glad you had someone to help care for you, don't you?"

He's right. I know he's right. I so desperately crave the love and affection of my parents and had assumed I'd lost that forever..."Y-yeah. Your mom said something similar the day I was leaving the hospital, actually..." He kisses the tip of my nose and hums inquisitively, "What did she say?" Reliving the moment where I knew I had to abandon my pride wasn't exactly what I had wanted to do this morning...

I sigh, "I asked her why she was being so nice to me. She said that if something were to have happened to her, she would hope someone would be there for you...that she was sure my mom would want that too." I open my eyes again to see Jean smiling softly, "She's a bitch sometimes, but she's got a good heart."

I laugh, "You guys are pretty similar in that way." He rolls his eyes and flicks my nose, "Pfft. Whatever, Watson."

"She's demanded we both be over for dinner tonight." Jean grins, "So does that mean you're mine until then?"

"Hmmm..." I pretend to think about it, knowing that spending my day with Jean is exactly what I want to do.

\--

"Hmmm..." I can tell she's messing with me, but can't help thinking she has reservations about me, or us... or whatever the hell it is that we're doing. I sigh and flop onto my back dramatically, throwing my arm over my eyes. Hannah chuckles and climbs on top of me, trying to tear my arm away from my face. I don't budge and she huffs in frustration, it's quite cute actually.

Hannah's silent for a moment before I feel her shift and then I feel her warm lips on my neck unexpectedly.  My breath gets caught in my throat and she drags her mouth across to the other side of my neck, repeating the action. The brunette kisses my jaw right beside my ear and whispers, "I'm all yours today."

I tear my hand away from my eyes and flip Hannah over, pinning her underneath me. "Don't say it if you don't mean it." I rasped against her lips before kissing her passionately. She kisses me back, slipping her tongue into my mouth and massaging mine with it. Hannah's hands move to my chest and her touch drives me absolutely insane.  She is all I want, all I _need_.

I part her legs with my own, pressing my knee against her core. She gasps, interrupting our heated kiss and I take the opportunity to ravish her neck with my lips, dragging the tip of my tongue across her supple skin as I move from one spot to the next.  Her every breath starts sounding like quiet mewls of pleasure encouraging me to continue. "Jean..." _Holy fuck,_ Hannah breathing out my name like that is a sound I intend on hearing much more often.  It feels as if I've been deaf my entire life and am only just hearing for the first time. I nip at her bottom lip, "Yes, beautiful?"

The sound that leaves her lips is a mix between a moan and a sigh, "Jean, wait." I nudge her nose with mine and slide off of her. As much as I want to make love to her, I am in no way disappointed with how hot this was and I'm definitely not going to fuck things up by pressuring her. Hannah takes a few deep breaths before laughing, "That was nice."

I hum in response, rolling onto my side to face her. She tangles our legs together and pulls me against her. Hannah's face goes red and I know _exactly_ why. As soon as she moved me against her body I had to fight myself to gain control as my erection was pressed against her hips, and fuck did it feel good. I raise my hand to gently brush a strand of hair behind her ear, stopping to caress her cheek with a light smile before bringing my hand to its original position. "Hannah you're blushing... What are you thinking about?"

My attempt at teasing her didn't go as expected because she quickly turned it around on me. Hannah's captivating green eyes hold my own as she seductively lifts a finger to her mouth and bites on it gently. "I'm just thinking about how good you'd feel..." I wink at her, "Better than you could imagine, sweetheart."

She sighs and lifts up the blankets, swinging her legs around to hang off the bed, I couldn't help but reach out and grab her waist. Hannah leans back against me with a quiet breath and places her hands on top of mine before lifting them up to her lips, placing a kiss on each of their palms.

"Banana, let me take you out today." She looks back at me over her shoulder. The way her hair cascades over her soft skin entrances me for a moment."Where do you want to go?" She questions.

"Bowling, loser buys lunch." She raises an eyebrow, "You sure you want to make it a competition, Kirstein?"

I sit up and kiss her cheek, "Scared you're gonna lose?" 

 


	24. To Bowl or Not To Bowl?

After getting dressed and shoving food into our mouths for breakfast, we head out to find a bowling alley open at 10 am on a Saturday. To my surprise, it didn't actually take that long. Jean had a place in mind, and although they had their seniors bowling league meetup that morning, there was still a spare lane for us to use.

Jean lets me decide on the names that show up on the score screen while he went to grab us bowling shoes, which was a shitty choice for him really. He comes back and places the shoes down in front of me, making a clacking sound against the checkered laminate floor. "Aw man, come on Banana." He groans but I just laugh.

"Horse Face, really? I give you a cute nickname and you just insult me?" I walk over to him and kiss the tip of his nose, "But I like your horse face, so what's the problem? Plus it's too late to change it, so suck it up, princess." Jean rolls his eyes, "You're lucky you're cute."

I sit down and tie my shoes, looking up at him through my lashes for a moment and fluttering them. He shakes his head and walks over to pick up a ball, starting his turn. His first god damn throw is a strike and he cockily smirks at me as he turns to pick up another ball. I shake my fist at him playfully like Abe Simpson cursing at clouds. This time he bowls a spare and when he comes back to take a seat to end his turn I quip, "Didn't realize you were a ringer, Jean. Jeez, trying to make a fool outta me?"

He laughs, "Hope you brought your wallet, princess." A playfully teasing tone slips from his lips. I stick my tongue out at him childishly and grab the extremely girly pink sparkle bowling ball. I widen my stance and throw the ball grandma-style down the lane. I manage to knock down two pins, causing Jean to pipe up. "Hannah, do you know how to bowl?" He asks with a curious yet not condescending tone.

I shake my head no and he walks up to the lane, grabs a bowling ball off of the conveyor, and holds it in one hand to leave the finger holes open for me to take. I lift a questioning eyebrow and he just stares blankly, waiting for me to take the rock out of his hands. After I place my fingers appropriately, Jean stands behind me, moving my legs with his to put me in the proper stance. My face flushes at how his body is pressed against mine in such a public place. "Relax, Hannah," Jean whispers into my ear eliciting an accidental whimper to escape from me.

He places a kiss on my neck and grabs my wrist, pulling back the arm with the ball. "Okay, so just bring your arm back with mine and release it as it comes back to the front. Don't forget to follow through." I nod, but barely processed the actual words that came out of his mouth as I was much too distracted by the combination of his body pressed up against mine and the heat of his breath on my neck.

He guides my hand back and then forwards. I'm glad that at least I remembered to release the ball at some point and miraculously we bowled a spare. I jumped up and turned to hug Jean, placing a light kiss on his lips that he turned into a much more passionate one.

As I heard an old man whistle out a catcall, I tried to pull away from Jean but he moved his thumb and forefinger to my chin and held my lips in place. When more hoots and hollers came from the horny old men, he finally parted with a lingering bite to my bottom lip and left me standing there. I run back to my seat and cover my tomato face with my hands after getting a few winks on my way back.

I swat Jean's shoulder, "What was that?!" He gives a lazy shrug and grins, not bothering to respond. He bowls his turn again, getting two spares and then sits next to me. "Need another lesson?" He winks. I narrow my eyes at him and take my turn, doing slightly better than my first throw, but not by much.

After I bowl my last frame, losing miserably to Jean, he wraps me up in a hug. When we part he leans his forehead against mine, "Hey Hannah?" He asks with a sweet intonation.  
"Hmm?"

"What does it feel like to be the most beautiful woman in the room?" I turn my head and glance around, "I'm the only woman in this room, Jean." He chuckles, pecking my cheek, "Doesn't change the question." I roll my eyes, "It would probably feel more complimentary had I not been the only person without a dick in here."

Jean grabs my hand and leads me out to the car, "So where are you taking me to lunch, Banana?" I sigh, "Where would you like to go, Jay?" He tilts his head, "Jay?"

"You wanted a nickname right?" A shit-eating grin sweeps across his face, "I love it, say it again."

"Where would you like to go for lunch, Jay?" His smile doesn't falter for a second. "Wherever you prefer, beauty."

-

I end up bringing Jean to one of my favorite family-owned diners, I used to come here all the time with my parents. They have a retro vibe, tables with shiny silver edging and sparkly red vinyl booths that make a squeaking sound as you slide in and out of them. The waitress greets us as we slide into a booth near the back window and takes our drink orders. "This place is interesting," Jean comments as he looks around. I smile, "It's one of the places we frequented when I was a kid. My dad was obsessed with their chili cheese fries."

He hums as he reaches out both hands to take one of mine, rubbing both of his thumbs over my skin. "Thanks for sharing this with me, Banana." Jean's smile is contagious and I couldn't help but return it. When the waitress comes back, we both order chili cheese fries and soda.

There's a knock on our window that startles both of us. "Fuckin Jaeger," Jean grumbles. I wave both him and Mikasa in to sit with us, as it seemed only polite, which for some reason I was feeling obligated to be. Jean gives my hand a squeeze before letting go with a sigh. When the pair make it to our table, Eren clobbers me in a hug while Mikasa stands nearby.

After a second I push Eren off and he smiles, "I'm so glad to see you, Hanny, especially here of all places."Mikasa takes the seat next to Jean, realizing they weren't just saying a quick hello. Jean shifts awkwardly in his seat as he moves closer to the window. I notice and raise an eyebrow at him, but he's just staring out into the street.

"Well, I couldn't avoid the diner forever...plus I had a craving for those fries my dad always got." Eren nods, "Remember how he'd always try to dip them into your mom's milkshake?"

"He tried to dip cheese fries into a milkshake?" Jean questions, suddenly involved in the conversation. "Mostly to mess with my mom. He only actually did it once though and claimed it was by mistake." Eren laughs as he chimes in, "She made him drink the entire thing. Chili at the bottom of the glass and all." Mikasa looks at Jean, "It was pretty funny."

After having spent so many hours with Jean and I touching in some way, I felt myself practically going through withdrawal. My foot searches for Jean's under the table and finds relief as his nudges mine back. When I glance up at him, his lips are pulled up just slightly in a smile.

"What were you guys up to?" Trying to make small talk has never been my area of expertise... but I try; for these bastards only though. "We're on a date. Eren took me to a movie, now we're going to get food." Mikasa states matter of factly. Jean blushes lightly and my smile fades... he's still into Mikasa? I guess I'm not surprised... it wasn't long ago that it came up.

Jean taps on the top of my shoe with his own, bringing me back into the conversation but I can't manage to meet his gaze that I feel burning into me. "Speaking of which, you guys should probably leave," Jean tells them. Eren rolls his eyes, "Right, we interrupted your date."

"I-its not a date." Jean stutters out, causing me to glance up at him and notice his rosy cheeks. Our food and drinks are brought out to us and I shoo my two friends away, "See you later." I stick a fry in my mouth as I watch Eren narrow his eyes at Jean, who just rolls his own and returns his attention to me.

An exasperated sigh leaves the handsome man's lips as soon as Eren and Mikasa are out of view. "Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?" I blurt out, not being able to hold back my anxiety. He looks taken aback. "Embarrassed? God no, why would you even think that?"

"You stopped holding my hand... you blushed in front of Mikasa... " I mumble out the list of small actions that I'd taken note of. Jean chuckles and stands up, moving to sit beside me. He holds my face in his hands and looks me in the eyes. "Hannah, I let go of your hand because I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable in front of your friends. My cheeks got hot when I thought that I need to take you on a date, not because of Mikasa." I frown slightly and Jean brought my face closer to his, placing a light kiss on the corner of each side of my lips. "I said it wasn't a date because I want to take you out properly. I... I don't want to fuck things up."

My eyes close as I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, opening them to see Jean's soft brown eyes thoughtfully inspecting my expression. "I wouldn't have made out with you in front of a bowling alley full of old men if I was embarrassed, Banana." I couldn't help but laugh, "Fuck, that was awkward." He shrugs, "You're an excellent kisser, it's easy to get carried away."

"You're not gonna wanna kiss me after I eat a mouthful of these fries." My elbow playfully jabs his ribs before I take a forkful of chili cheese goodness and moan playfully, rolling my eyes to the back of my head as if in intense pleasure. Jean barely lets me swallow the food before he quickly closes the gap between us and kisses me deeply. I push him away with a laugh, "Jean you're so gross!"

"I will never not want to kiss you." My eyes roll to the side slightly, "You say that now..." He leans towards me again and instead of a kiss he licks the corner of my lips with his tongue, "Mmm, those fries are good."


	25. Dinner With The Kirstein's

When I parked the car in the driveway, I looked over at Hannah, whose hair was in front of her face while she leaned over slightly to undo her seatbelt.  My hand couldn't help but reach out and tuck her hair behind her ear.  She glances up at me with those deep green eyes of hers and smiles gently, making me melt like ice cream on a hot summer day.

It's so fucking nice to be able to reach out and touch her like this, to have to not hold back as much as I once had. I worry I might be too clingy though, as she hasn't been as forward as I have... did Marco feel this way with her too? "Everything okay, Jay?" She asks, her melodic voice flows through my ears.  I still haven't adjusted to the nickname and just the thought of it has me grinning from ear to ear.

"Everything's more than okay, Hannah." I find her hand and rub my thumb back and forth in her palm, "I just want to savor the last few moments alone with you that I'll get." The rose-red blush that creeps onto her cheeks is incredibly endearing, making me wonder about how the hell she was ever single in the first place. "Thanks, Jean.  We should probably get going though since your mom has been leaning in the doorway staring at us this whole time."

My gaze wanders over to mom and she cocks an eyebrow at me with a knowing smirk. I take a deep breath and squeeze Hannah's hand. "Thanks for coming, Banana." She smiles sweetly back at me, "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

My mom wraps her arms around the object of my affections and grips her tightly. "Hey, Sweetie!"

"What? She gets the hero greeting and I'm chopped liver?" I scoff teasingly when in reality seeing my mom and Hannah become so close has warmed my heart. _She did always want a daughter..._

Mom keeps Hannah gripped in one arm as she holds open the other for me to get in on this hug.  Who am I to say no? I slide an arm around my mom's shoulder and allow the other to rest in the small of Hannah's back. My fingers lightly gather the material of her shirt so they can come in contact with her smooth skin. My old lady breaks off the hug, but I keep my hand in its place, not ready to lose the small bit of contact with Hannah.  

"Dinner will be ready in half an hour.  Jean you should go take a shower, it looks like you need one." My eyes narrow at her remark. "Hannah, help me set the table?"

-

Taking a shower probably should've been helpful in cooling me off emotionally, but really had the opposite effect.  The thought that I could be next to her and I wasn't drove me nuts, thus concluding the shortest shower of my life. I dressed quickly in a nice navy long sleeve tee and some jeans, dried my hair as best as I could before heading downstairs to be near the radiance that belonged to Hannah Watson.  

She was sitting at the kitchen table, chatting with my mom as she put the finishing touches on our meal. I walked up behind Hannah and rested my chin on her head, being mindful of her injury of course. Mom's eyes flickered up to meet mine but she didn't say anything and she knew she didn't have to, we both knew she was right. She knew I loved Hannah before I did. 

My dad sits at the table across from her and my mom beside him as I sat beside Hannah. "So what did you two get up to today?" My dad asks, smiling at the woman beside me. "Jean and I went bowling and then grabbed a bite to eat."  

My dad points his fork at Hannah and comments, "Jean is an excellent bowler." She laughs and nudges my foot under the table, "So I've learned. I had to buy the bugger lunch because I lost."  Mom laughs, "Anything for free food, eh Jeany?" 

I shrug,"It's not my fault she can't bowl."

"So what are some of Jean's other hidden talents that I should know about?" Hannah inquires with a smirk, obviously planning on using the information to her advantage somehow. "He can ride on horseback well. It's a funny story actually when Jean was a kid he-"

"Shut it." I glare at my mom, knowing exactly which story she's about to tell. Hannah places a hand over my mouth to try and shut me up, nodding at my mom to continue.  I lightly part my lips and let the tip of my tongue graze her fingers.  She nudged my foot once again.

"After he watched Two Bits & Pepper for the first time, he became obsessed with ponies and cried for _days_ until we caved and took him for horseback riding lessons." Hannah drops her hand down to her lap after my mom finishes and she's laughing so hard she's crying. My cheeks start burning up in embarrassment, "Buttercup was a treasure, damn it!" I defend my favorite horse.

" _Buttercup_?!" Hannah wheezes, placing a hand on my shoulder to keep herself upright. I glare at my mother, "What the hell, Mom!" She smirks, "You've never brought girls home so I've never had the chance to embarrass you. It's been a long time coming, really." Hannah composes herself and lifts her hand from my shoulder to my cheek and pinches it, "Aww Jeany never brought girlfriends home to meet Mom?" I swat her hand away and start shoveling more food into my mouth to avoid talking.

"Nope, he never has. Guess he's just embarrassed by us." My mom continues with a sigh. "Or embarrassed of the girls he dates." Hannah points out, right on the fucking money with that one.

"Well, we're glad you're here, Hannah." My dad concludes, making eye contact with me as if he's sympathizing with my current mortified state. "Yes, you're perfect Hannah. We're very happy Jean's brought you over so often." Mom chimes in.

"I know that's not true." Hannah laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck. "Plus Marie, I'm pretty certain you're actually the only one who's invited me into your home. So maybe we shouldn't tease Jean too much for having a female friend." Mom lifts an accusatory eyebrow at me and narrows her eyes.  I know I'm going to get an earful the moment Hannah leaves the room. 

We're all fairly quiet as we finish our dinner until Hannah offers to do the dishes."Oh, don't worry about it, Hannah. I'll take care of them." My dad comments. "Well, I'll help then.  I'll wash and you can put away, sir." He nods. 

It's funny actually how she's so formal with him. Dad is really ' _impressed with the respect she shows to her elders.'_ as he put it. I think he's just flattered to have someone still call him _sir._  She's definitely not inept at reading people.

As soon as Hannah turns around, her long hair still swaying from her movement, mom pulls me by the ear out of the room and swats my arm. "What the hell?!" I whisper-yell, not wanting to make a scene. She swats me again. "Why haven't you asked her out yet?!" She whispers back in a furious tone.  "You don't need to be so involved in my love life!" 

She clips my head this time. "It's obvious that you won't _have_ one if I don't!" I sigh, "Let me do this at my own damn pace. I don't want to fuck it up.  We've kissed, okay? So it's not like she doesn't know I have feelings for her." She grins for a moment before it falters, "Did you _tell_ her you had feelings for her?"

"No, but-"

"For god sake Jean! A kiss doesn't solidify anything!" 

* _Ahem_ * Dad clears his throat, "You might want to keep your voices down before your topic of conversation becomes known to _everyone_ in the house."

Mom just shakes her head and walks back to the kitchen with dad.  I lean against the living room wall for a minute to compose myself and my thoughts.  Since when has my mom become my fucking go-to expert for girl problems? My face falls as I remember... _since Marco died._

My lips curl up into a smile though as I walk into a picture-perfect moment with my family.  Hannah is washing dishes and passing them to my dad, who's drying them before handing them to my mom, who's putting them away. I pull out my phone and take a picture, capturing a moment where my mom told a joke and Hannah's face was turned to show her profile as she laughed.

A feeling of pure contentment floods through my body and without another thought, I set it as my phone's wallpaper, wanting to remember how this feels every moment of every day.

 


	26. Late Night Texts

_***Ahem. Mature content ahead.*** _

 

I drive Hannah home and walk her to her door.  She frowns as she turns to put her key in the lock. "What's that frown for, Banana?" I ask whilst picking up a piece of her soft hair to twirl around my fingers. "I just had a really nice day today..."

"Most people _smile_ when they've had a nice day, you know." I point out and she rolls her eyes. "Don't have to be a dick about it." She mumbles, looking at her feet.

"Who knows when I'll have another day like this... we all die some time, right? I've already cheated death once, so who knows how much time I've got left." Now I frown, why is she thinking so negatively? Pulling Hannah into my arms with a big sigh, I kiss the top of her head. 

"It's true were not like, immortal vampires or some shit, but we've just gotta try and make the most of every day we have, right? You've got a long life ahead Hannah Watson, and I fully intend to be there with you." Hannah squeezes me for a long minute before releasing her arms, letting mine stay loosely placed on her back as she gazes up at me with her kind eyes, "Thanks Jean, I had a lot of fun today."

I ghost my fingertips over her arm as I move one of my hands from the small of her back to cup her cheek.  She closes her eyes at the touch and I pull her face ever so slightly closer to mine, letting my lips close the distance between us with a kiss.

-

My dad is waiting in my room when I get home. "So your mother seems to be pretty invested in this girl..." I lift my eyebrow, waiting to see where he's going with this. "I want to make sure that you're not feeling pressured to show interest in someone you don't want to be with."

I breathe out with a laugh, "While I could definitely go without Mom's constant nagging about it, I do care for Hannah. A lot, actually." He hums as he looks down at his clasped hands in his lap, "You're mother told me as much, but I wanted to be certain." My face flushes as I think of a question I needed to ask, although I was positive of the answer already.  "Uh, dad?" He glances up at me and smirks as he sees my red cheeks.

"I don't really have anyone to talk to about this stuff since...since Marco..." My dad frowns slightly, "I know. I'm here for you. What's on your mind?" I clear my throat, "H-how do you know if you're in love?" My dad chuckles, "Why don't you tell me how you feel about her and we'll go from there?"

"I can't stop thinking about her, I can't stop looking at her when she's around, which I wish was 24/7. Fuck, I practically lived with her for a month and it didn't feel like enough. I'd move there in a heartbeat if she'd let me. She's so thoughtful and kind, dumb as fuck but in the best damn way. The thought of her with anyone else drives me crazy with rage. Every time I'm near her I just want to hold her, take care of her and make sure no one fucking hurts her." I run a hand through my hair and grip the roots in frustration. I hadn't said any of this out loud to anyone. I've never cared this much.

The smile on my dad's face right now is one I've only ever seen once when he and my mother renewed their vows on their 20th wedding anniversary. "Sounds like you already know the answer, Jean."  And I did. I already knew it, I knew it weeks ago, but telling another person about it just made it feel more...real, less like a dream.

-

 **Banana**   
You awake?

 **Jean**   
It's 1 am Banana, why are you not sleeping?

 **Banana**   
I'm cold.

 **Jean**   
You have like a thousand blankets.

 **Banana**   
Come warm me up?

 **Jean**   
You want me to come over right now?

 **Banana**   
Don't have to...

 **Jean**   
On my way.

-

"Hannah you need to start locking your damn door! Especially at night!" I curse under my breath at her stupidity as I make my way into her bedroom. The lights are off but her face is illuminated by the blue light on her phone. Her eyes flicker up to mine and she places her phone on the nightstand closest to her before holding open her bed sheets for me to climb in.

I sit on the side of the bed and swing my legs up, arranging myself to lay on my side to face her. "Hey, gorgeous." I smile, noticing she doesn't look at all tired. "Hey, handsome." She replies, lifting a delicate hand to rest on my cheek. I lean into her touch and she nuzzles in closer to me. When her legs tangle with mine she frowns, "You can't sleep in blue jeans, idiot."

"I'll be fine, Banana. Don't worry about it." I see her roll her eyes and she sits up, letting the blanket fall from around her shoulders and showing off the tight white tank top she's wearing that leaves little to the imagination since she's not wearing a bra.

Hannah lifts a leg over both of mine, straddling my thighs and lets her fingers graze over the waist of my pants.  My eyes flicker up to hers, which are already studying my face.  Her fingers slide under the material and as they touch my skin I inhale sharply.  A playful smile pulls up the corners of her lips as she rests her hand on top of the cold metal button. The brunette undoes it and then slowly unzips the zipper. Hannah places her hands onto the sides of my pants and shimmies them down to where she's sitting, revealing my boxers to her.

She crawls on all fours down to my feet, giving me an incredible view of her ass... in only her black boy cut panties.  She pulls my pants the rest of the way off and drops them onto the floor before turning around and flopping back down onto the bed, pulling the blanket back over the top of us. _Fuckin' tease_.

"I'm sure you'll be much comfier now." She smiles a deceivingly innocent smile. I raise an eyebrow and her smile turns into a slight smirk. I wrap an arm around Hannah's waist and pull her back on top of me. "Mm, _now_ I feel more comfortable."  I nuzzle my face down into her neck and place a kiss right below her ear. 

My hands move from her waist to caress her sides, grazing the outline of her breasts as I weave my hands into her hair to pull her in for a passionate kiss. Hannah pushes her hips against mine, grinding herself against my growing erection. I let out a low groan, unable to contain how fucking good it feels to have her on top of me. As our kiss becomes lewder, she tugs at the collar of my shirt, signaling for me to take it off.

The hand that's tangled in her hair grips a bit harder to pull her up just the slightest bit for me to whisper, "If mine comes off, yours comes off too." She nods against me and I place a hand on her back as I sit us both up. Hannah watches as I pull my shirt off over my head and she reaches out to touch me.  I pull at the hem of her tank top as a reminder of our deal.  She smirks and peels the thin fabric off, tossing it on the floor next to mine. 

My hands steady her waist as I admire the curves of her form, my eyes raking down her body as she keeps her hands on my chest. Hannah leans down, letting her breasts rest against me.  I once again let my hands travel up from her waist and over her sides.  She whispers into my ear, "Are you sure this is what you want?"

She pulls back enough to catch my gaze in her intense one, worry swimming within her depths. "I need you in every shape of the word, Hannah." The brunette nods and leans back down to my neck, trailing kisses down my chest until she reaches my boxers. Hannah doesn't hesitate taking them off, allowing herself full access to my hard member.  She shimmies down my legs and starts kissing my thighs, alternating legs after every kiss until she reached the base of my dick. 

\--

The desire in Jean's eyes as I look up at him only makes me want to please him more.  I slowly lick my tongue up the side of his cock before placing a light kiss on the tip.  Bit by bit I took him into my mouth, not letting my eyes leave his beautiful brown ones. As my lips hit his base he groans, " _Fuck, Hannah_."

I suction my lips against him as I come back up, letting him go with a pop. I use a hand to stroke his length as I suck on the head and utilize the other to fondle his balls.  Jean's head is leaning back and his eyes are closed.

On my next breath I release his cock from my lips and let my breath hit it as I whisper, " _Does this feel good, Jean?"_

My words were seemingly too much as Jean growls lightly in response and takes hold of my wrist, pulling me up and flush against him. He kisses me deeply, letting his tongue dominate mine as it explores the cavern of my mouth. In one swift movement Jean flips me onto my back, pinning my body underneath his in the best way possible. 

He nips at my neck, alternating between kissing and nibbling the sensitive skin.  He trails his kisses down past my collarbone and into the valley between my breasts. Jean's strong hands gently cup my breasts, letting his thumbs brush over their sensitive nubs to send a shooting jolt of pleasure through my body.

My breath hitches just from that touch and Jean's breathy laugh rings in my ears, _"I haven't even done anything yet, Hannah."_  

The bass in his voice low and seductive has me aching to hear more of it.

" _Mmm, I can't wait."_

Jean lowers his face to my chest and flicks his tongue against the nipple of my right breast. I bite my lip in response and feel him moan against my supple skin as mewls escape from me.  Jean switches his ministrations to my left breast, letting his tongue swirl around and suckle at the nipple while his fingers pinch and grope the other, not daring to leave it unattended.

He continues to venture down and kiss down my stomach while tucking his thumb into the top band of my panties. Being the considerate man that he is, he looks up at me to make sure I'm still okay and when I nod, he pulls the material down in one fell swoop. 

Jean lets his fingers ghost along my pelvic bone and down to my thighs. He comes up to kiss me deeply, letting his legs part my own before pressing his knee against my core, just like he had earlier this morning.

I moan once again at the familiar contact, my body feels as if it's on fire in the best way possible and craving for more.  Feeling Jean smirk against my lips as he continues the lewd kiss had me reaching down and gripping his hardness in my hand, stroking a few times until he moaned my name. 

Jean slides back down my body and stops right above my womanhood before leaning down and blowing his warm breath across my clit.  The sensation sent a shiver down my spine and I ached for more. 

" _Jean_..."  I pleaded into his lustful eyes as they flickered up to mine at the sound of his name. 

He presses his hand against my core, letting two of his fingers slide through my folds.

" _You're so fucking wet_ " Jean groans as he slips two fingers into my aching sex.

One of my hands grips the bedsheet while the other tangles in his hair as he softly kisses my clit before sucking it into his mouth and flicking his tongue across it's surface.

After a few minutes, my hips push up into his hand and he smirks, " _You want me to go deeper?_ " 

I bite my lip and nod,"You'll have to speak up if you want something from me, beautiful." 

He slips a third finger into my pulsing heat, increasing my desire tenfold.

I sigh, _"Mm Jean, I need you_." 

He continues to lap at the bundle of nerves and thrusting his digits at a steady pace. 

 _"What do you need, Hannah? You're going to have to be more specific than that."_  The bass in his voice vibrates against my clit in an extremely erotic way.

" _Damn it Jean, shut up and fuck me_!" I moan out and he chuckles lightly, returning up to my lips to kiss me passionately. 

" _Geez, all you had to do was ask."_  

I push him off of me and straddle him, taking control of the situation and grabbing his cock in my hand, stroking it before positioning it at my slick entrance.

I watch as he sighs underneath me, his eyes once again glued to my own.  I slowly lower myself down onto him and Jean groans, " _Fuck, Hannah. You're so tight."_  

I lean down and kiss his neck, sucking his slightly stubbly skin into my mouth and nibbling gently as I let myself adjust to his size.

While grinding my clit against him, Jean grabs my hips, letting his fingers dig into the skin.  He lifts me up and slams me down into him, I squeal in surprise but continue to ride him until his grip tightens on me and nails dig into my skin.

Jean takes my wrists in his hands and pins me underneath him whilst inside me.  He increases the pace of his thrusts and kisses me greedily, pushing deeper inside me until he bottoms out, hitting my most sensitive spot over and over again. 

Jean leans up slightly to slip a hand between us, rubbing my clit in slow circles that tighten the coil inside me more than I thought it already could be. 

" _Keep going..."_   I breathe out against his ear as I bite the lobe, " _I'm so close, Jean_."

He groans in response and somehow manages to fuck me even harder while lowering his mouth to my breast and nibbling my nub between his teeth. 

My breath hitches as I feel the coil inside me snap, letting the sweet euphoria of the best fucking orgasm of my life flood through my body like a tidal wave.  Jean continues his ministrations, riding out my orgasm until he can't take it anymore and cums as well. 

" _Holy fuck."_ He breathes as he slides out of me, leaving my body feeling incomplete without him.

Jean lays down beside me and pulls me into his chest, kissing my forehead in the process.  I tangle my legs with his, wanting to be as close to him as possible, and catch my breath. 

Jean tilts my chin up so my eyes meet his, "That was incredible."

The sincerity in his voice relaxes me even more. I nod in response, barely able to comprehend language at all at the moment as I feel the after effects of the endorphins swim around in my brain.

Jean's eyebrows knit together, "Are you okay Hannah? Did I hurt you? Or di-"

I smile lazily at him, "Jean, shut up and enjoy this moment with me, 'kay?"

The handsome man beside me nuzzles his face into my hair and takes a deep breath, tracing his fingers with the lightest touch along my arm. 

 


	27. After Effects

Waking up with Hannah in my arms is a heartwarming feeling I will always cherish.  I feel like a fucking lovestruck teenager, but I can't help it. Her smooth legs rub against mine as she rolls over, making her back flush with my chest and pushing her round ass into my crotch. I groan quietly as I feel my dick becoming hard and brush her luscious hair away from her neck, leaving it vulnerable to my touch. I place a kiss just below her ear before letting my tongue lick the spot. I pull back and blow on the area, hoping the cold sensation will wake her up.

She grumbles, " _Morning Jean_." The sound of my name coming from her pouty lips in that cute raspy morning voice of hers was enough to drive me wild again. "Good morning, sunshine," I whisper into her ear. She hums and turns around to face me, raising a hand to caress my cheek with a gentle smile. "Thanks for coming over last night, Jay." I chuckle lowly, "How could I resist a booty call from my favorite lady?" 

Hannah blushes with embarrassment as she averts her eyes, "I couldn't stop thinking about it after the day before." She shyly admits. I nuzzle my nose against hers, "Don't be embarrassed, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't imagined what it would feel like to be with you intimately." Worry flickers within her eyes, "Did it live up to your expectations?" Her voice a quiet whisper. 

I pull her even closer to me and she instinctively presses her hips into mine, letting out a squeak when she realizes she's practically pushed my erection between her legs. I smirk at her reaction and kiss her deeply before responding, "It was better than any fantasy I could've dreamed up, Hannah." The object of my affections kisses the tip of my nose, "I'm glad."

I hear my phone buzz for the millionth time this morning and ignore it.  "Aren't you going to check that?" Hannah pipes up. "I'd rather not look at my phone while an incredibly sexy woman's naked body is pressed up against me."  She laughs, "Fair point. Although your mom's probably freaking out that you're not at home."

I sigh, "Can we _not_ talk about moms while we're in bed?" A sly smile crosses Hannah's lips, " _Jean, are you saying you don't want me to call you Daddy?_ " Her seductively breathy voice dripping with sex appeal while simultaneously teasing me is a new thing I'm happy to indulge in. 

"That depends, _have you been a naughty girl?"_ Hannah tucks her bottom lip between her teeth as she grinds against me, " _You tell me_."

-

After a leg shaking round two, Jean makes us breakfast while I take a quick shower.  I walk into the kitchen with only my towel on, grab a piece of toast off of a plate and take a bite before slapping his ass as I return to the bedroom to dress.  He chases after me and tackles me onto the bed. "I don't recall _me_ being the one deserving of being spanked." His husky voice growls into my ear before he bites on the lobe. 

I giggle like a god damn school girl and roll him over as I sit on top of his abdomen, "Don't act like you didn't like it." Jean leans up so that I slide down into his lap, "Oh I certainly did. Now come, breakfast is getting cold and I know what you're like when you're hangry." I hop out of his lap, "You're right. I've definitely worked up an appetite."

I wink at him as I put on a show of sliding a red G-string on before pulling on some black yoga pants and one of his hoodies I 'borrowed' without bothering to put a bra or shirt on underneath. Jean walks up behind me and kisses my neck, "If beauty were time, you'd be an eternity." I smile at him as I turn to kiss his cheek,"You're such a cheeseball."

-

We spend the rest of the day cuddled up on the couch and order pizza for dinner to complete our lazy day.  When I got home, even the earful from my mother wasn't enough to wipe the grin off my face. "Mom. Relax. Just always assume I'm at Hannah's, okay?"

"You'd think after Marco's accident you'd be more considerate but no, of course not! You leave me worrying all day that something happened to you two!" My face falls and finally the guilt sets in. I take a deep breath, "I didn't even think about that... I'm sorry." My mom sighs defeatedly and hugs me, "Just don't worry me like that again."

I nod, "I won't."

-

 **Jean**   
I miss you already

 **Banana**   
Awwwwwwwwwwwwww

 **Jean**   
That's not how you're supposed to reply.

 **Banana**   
What do you mean?

 **Banana**   
Oh, I miss you too I guess :P

 **Jean**   
Pffft. Nevermind then.

 **Banana**   
I'm kidding! Bring your cute butt back here.

How am I supposed to sleep without you now?

 **Jean**   
You'll get sick of me if you do that.   
Plus, I don't think you'd be getting a lot of sleep ; )

 **Banana**   
I think if I was able to survive a month living with you when we were barely friends that I can handle you here all the time when you're my best friend. 

 

 _Best friend_. Did I just get friend-zoned? **FUCK**. How do I even respond to that? Is that all I am to her? Even after the past few days?  I don't want to just be her best friend, I want to be that among other things. I can't just say that over text. What the fuck am I supposed to do?! 

I pull at my hair in frustration, I wish fucking Marco was here to tell me what to do. He was so damn good with this shit. I can't run to my parents, I don't need them involved any further than they already are. _Especially_ now that sex is involved.  For fuck sake.

 **Jean**   
I hope you have a good first day at work tomorrow, Banana. I'm sorry that you have to go back early.

 **Banana**   
Don't be sorry, it just means you took such good care of me : )

-

It really felt like this was something though, a step forward for us.  I _did_ technically booty call him though, even if there was more behind it then just that... I wanted to show him how much he means to me. I'm not great at talking about those kinds of things so I thought I could convey it in this way.  I hope to god I didn't just fuck everything up.

Eventually after hours of repetitive anxious thoughts running through my mind mixed with thoughts of how god damn good Jean felt, I fell asleep. A phone call wakes me up in the morning and I answer with a groggy voice, "Who dare wake me at this ungodly hour?" 

"Hanny its seven am, you can't be late your first day back. Get your ass in gear, I'll be there in fifteen." I groan, "Fine."

I sift through my closet and pick out a simple navy button-down with cute little anchors on it, paired with a pair of slim fitting black pants, a slouchy black beanie to hide my god damn peach fuzz bald spot, and black kitten heels. I grab the lunch I prepped yesterday from the fridge and head out the door, hopping into Eren's beat up car. Mikasa turns back and hands me a to-go cup of coffee and a bagel.

"You're the best." I smile at her. She narrows her eyes at me, "Why are you smiling about going back to work? Are you possessed?"

"I'm smiling about coffee, thank you very much." I respond with a bagel filled mouth. She grimaces slightly having seen the chewed up food in my mouth and turns back around. I chuckle, "Mikasa's only weakness:  Half chewed food."  I tease. 

"Like you're invincible, Watson." She quips back, she's never really being able to take a joke at her expense, so I'm not surprised. "Hannah Watson's only weakness: Cars." I reply with a laugh. I see Eren's eyes go wide in the rear view mirror as he glances back at me.  The car is silent, "What? Too soon?"  

\-   
When we get to the office I have to deal with all the hugs and looks of pity from people I've probably only talked to a handful of times over my years here.  I finally reach my desk and find an embarrassingly large bouquet of yellow, pink, and purple tulips in a glass vase placed on its surface.  With a sigh, I pick up the card that's in the center of the admittedly beautiful display and read it over.

_Banana,_

_If I had a garden I’d put your tulips and my tulips together._

_Jay_

 

I facepalm as my face flushes.  It's sweet but cheesy, just like Jean. 

 

 **Banana**   
I received an embarrassing arrangement of flowers this morning.

 **Jean**   
Please tell me you don't hate tulips.

 **Banana**   
They're beautiful, thanks Jay.

 **Jean**   
Not as beautiful as you.

 

Eren leans to the side of his screen to look at the flowers, "From your fuckboy I assume?"

"Shut it, Jaeger. He's not a fuckboy." I snap back. "Are you dating?" I scratch the back of my neck, "Well, no."

"Are you fucking?"

"EREN!"

"I'll take that as a yes. Then that's what he is." I fling a pencil at his face, "I didn't ask for your dumb fucking opinion, keep it to yourself."

"Whoa Hanny, relax. I'm just messing with you." His tone changes to a softer one and I sigh. "Whatever."   
  


 


	28. The Day That Never Ends

Jean took off from work a little early to pick me up, claiming he didn't want me to have to rely on ' _that little asshole Jaeger'_ all the time. When I get down to the main floor and see him leaning against his car waiting for me I couldn't help but clobber him in a hug. "I thought you didn't miss me?" He teases as he pulls at my thighs to wrap my legs around his waist.

"It was _torture_ to be there all day, especially when every second I glanced away from my computer I saw the flowers and thought of you." Jean smiles and pinches my thigh. "I'm glad I was on your mind, beautiful." He leans down and nudges my nose before kissing me.

"* ** _BLEGH_** * "

I sigh, immediately knowing that's Eren's fake barf sound. I turn my head to face him, neither Jean or I bothering to adjust our position. "Get a room, you guys are gross." He teases with a scrunched up nose. "Fuck you, Jaeger." We both spit in response and then burst out laughing at the coincidence. 

Eren lifts an eyebrow at me and I shrug, "Seriously Eren, again, don't need your opinion. See you tomorrow?" He rolls his eyes, "Yeah yeah, whatever."

Jean smiles down at me and walks around the car, placing my in the passenger seat as if I was precious cargo, and kissing my forehead before getting into the driver's seat and pulling out onto the road. "So what did you not want Jaeger's opinion on?"  He asks with curiosity. 

"Us," I state plainly. I glance over at him and see his frown.  "You don't need to be upset, Jean. It's no secret you two don't get along so why would he be immediately accepting of whatever's going on, you know?" He hums, "I guess you're right."

"Stay over tonight?" I ask. Jean looks over at me and leans in to kiss my cheek. A memory of Marco doing the same thing while driving occupies my vision and I pull away immediately from Jean. "Watch the road, Jean," I mumble, feeling uncomfortable and trying unsuccessfully to hold back tears. 

What if something happened to Jean? Oh god, it'd be my fucking fault just like Marco.  He can't leave me, _he can't_.  What would I even do without him? Who would care for me and I them? I don't want to even imagine a life without that idiot.

We park in Jean's driveway and he stays quiet for a moment, not daring to tear his eyes away from me.  I can't meet his gaze, I feel guilty for having even thought of Marco while Jean kissed me but I just couldn't help it. "I'm sorry, Hannah." Jean apologizes while tucking some hair behind my ear. 

I sniffle, "You don't need to be sorry."

"You thought about Marco?" He sighs sadly, the sound of which tugged at my heart. "Y-yeah.  I'm so sorry, Jean." He gets out of the car and shuts his door. Oh god, he's pissed. He's going to leave me alone. Fuck, _fuck, **fuck!**_ The tears stinging my eyes get hotter as they hit my skin. 

All of a sudden my door opens and Jean unbuckles my seatbelt before picking me up and sitting in my seat, cradling me against his warm chest. "Hey, Jean?" I sniffle. "Yeah, sweetie?"

" _Sweetie_?" I let out a breathy laugh followed by another sniffle. "I'll call you whatever I want, _sweetie_. Deal with it." He pokes my cheek, "What's up, hmm?"

"Would it be okay if I talked with your mom for a bit while you grab your stuff?" Jean kisses the side of my head, "Of course, Hannah. You don't have to ask my permission to talk with her."

He slides his legs out of the car and stands up, still cradling me as he walks to the door. "I can walk, Jean." He looks down at me with a soft smile, "Just let me do something nice for you, kay?" 

I nod. "I do need you to turn the doorknob though." He admits and I reach out to complete the task. Marie walks out of the living room to see who's come in and she giggles, "I'm offended." I tilt my head at her, "Why?"

"Because you didn't invite me to your wedding!" She laughs and I feel myself blush. "Why would you even say that?" Jean asks in an annoyed tone. "Oh, I'm just teasing you, learn to take a joke.  Although you _should_ marry Hannah, that part wasn't a joke."  Marie smirks and I hide my face in my hands, hitting Jean's arm to let me down, which he ignores. 

"Mom, Hannah wants to speak with you. Living room?" She nods and Jean pops me onto the couch, leaning down to kiss my forehead before leaving the room. Marie smiles softly as she watches her son leave, "He loves you, you know." She directs her smile at me this time and my faded blush from earlier has returned full force from her comment.   
Does Jean love me?  I know he cares for me, that's no secret.  I never considered he would _love_ me. After Reiner, I'm not sure anyone _could_ love me.

Marie takes my hand in hers, "What did you want to talk about, honey?" I take a deep breath, "What if everyone close to me dies? I don't want you and Jean to be at risk." Marie smacks the back of my head. "It's not your fault, Hannah! How many times do we have to say that?"

I lean into her and sob, unable to hold it in anymore. "Jean... kissed me on the cheek on the way over, just like Marco did.  I just kept thinking that I- I couldn't handle it if something h-happened to him. What would I do without him?" Marie strokes my hair soothingly, "He'll be okay, Hannah. You're not going to lose Jean."

"But what if I-" Marie cups my face in her hands to turn me to look at her, "You are not the reason your parents died, you are not the reason Marco died, and you will not be the reason anyone else does either." My eyes squeeze shut as salty tears burn them, "Everyone I love _leaves_ , Marie!"

She rubs her hand in circles on my back. "You can't control what happens, sweetheart. You're friends with that guy Jean hates and his pretty girlfriend, right? They're still here." I squeeze Marie tight and bury my face in her greying hair, "I couldn't take it if something happened to Jean!" My sobs intensify as his name leaves my lips.

Marie sighs, "Life is too short not tell the people you love how you feel, Hannah."

-

I sat on my bed for a few extra minutes, wanting to give Hannah privacy.  I could hear her crying from up here and I just couldn't sit and wait anymore so I head downstairs. That's when I hear Hannah's sniffly voice cry out, "I couldn't take it if something happened to Jean!"

I can hear the sound of my mom's voice, not the words she's saying though, but I don't need to.  _Hannah's worried about me?_ I wait around the corner for a minute before knocking on the wall near the entrance to the living room, "Can I come in?" Hannah nods against my mom, not moving otherwise.  My mom's kind gaze meets mine and she gives me a sad smile.  I walk up to Hannah and kiss the top of her head before pulling her out of my mom's arms and into my own, picking her up in a princess carry. 

When we get to my room I kick the door closed with my foot and lay her down on my bed.  I snuggle in behind Hannah and pull her as close to my chest as possible. I smooth her hair away from her neck and place a kiss on her bare skin.  "Everything's okay, Hannah." Her sob catches in her throat and she shakes even harder.  "W-why are you s-so nice to me?"

I couldn't help but chuckle, "Hannah, don't be dumb. I'm nice to you because I care about you. You know that." I kiss her neck again, this time just under her jaw. Hannah pulls my hand around her shoulders and rests it on top of her lips.  She places a kiss in the center of my palm and takes a deep breath. After she exhales she kisses the pad of my thumb and breathes deeply once again. Hannah repeats the action for each of my fingers and has calmed herself down.

She sniffles and turns around to face me but doesn't look me in the eyes.  "I'm sorry I freaked out." She murmurs. I cradle the back of her head, "You had a flashback, Hannah. It's only natural you'd be upset. I'm sorry I didn't think before I acted."

"It's not your fault, Jay." I sigh and pull away enough to see Hannah's face.  My thumb and finger find their way to her chin and tilt it upwards to place a kiss on her plump lips.   Hannah takes another deep breath, "I need to apologize to your mom and then could we go home?"

"You mean your apartment." I correct. "It's my apartment when I'm alone. It's home when you're there." Her red puffy eyes blink at me as if it's an obvious fact. My chest tightens and my cheeks redden at her comment. Not only do I feel immensely flattered, but I feel that every day I fall more in love with her than I ever thought possible.

When I don't reply her eyebrows furrow, "Sorry, is that weird?"

I smile and peck her lips, "Not weird at all, Banana."   
  


 


	29. An Unnecessary Warning

The rest of the night went by without any more tears. Monty Python's Flying Circus seemed to be distracting enough to get her giggling, which was my goal.  Hannah fell asleep while we were cuddled up on the couch and I carried her to bed.  I knew Jaeger was picking up Hannah in the morning so I sent him a text.

 **Jean**   
I'll take Hannah to work tomorrow

 **Cry Face**   
Okay. You and I need to have a conversation tomorrow anyway.   
Stay in the lobby and I'll meet you there.

 **Jean**   
Ok

 _What does that asshole want_? Whatever, I'm not going to think about it while I've got her in arms reach.  Jaeger's the last thing I want to think about. I snuggled up to Hannah and she found her way into the crook of my neck.  Her hot breaths against my skin soothed my worried thoughts and lulled me to sleep. 

-

  
My blaring alarm rang to wake us, Hannah grumbled and cuddled up tighter to my chest as I kissed the top of her head. "Time to get up, sleepy head." I murmur against her hair. She groans and rolls over, stretching out her arms with a big yawn. I chuckled, "You're so graceful in the morning."

She flashes me a tired smile, "I'm a god damn modern-day Grace Kelly." I lean forward and peck her lips, "Grace Kelly ain't got nothin' on you, babe." Hannah laughs and crawls off of the bed, making her way to her closet and pulling out a muted yellow wrap dress and laying it on the bed to drape over my legs.  She doesn't bother being shy about changing out of her pajamas and into her dress.  

I swing my legs over the side of the bed, letting my feet rest on the cold floor for a minute to get used to it before standing up and grabbing my work attire. Hannah pours us both a bowl of cereal and sets them at the table.  She stares at me for a moment as I walk into the kitchen wearing a pair of dark wash blue jeans, sky blue button-up, and grey sport coat, before motioning over to the bowls. 

"Breakfast of champions!" She states with a grin, handing me a spoon.  "Froot Loops.  Good choice, I was hoping to get rid of that skin on the roof of my mouth anyway." She chuckles and pushes my arm lightly, "Good timing, then." 

After finishing she brings both bowls over to the sink and turns to face me over her shoulder, "You look really nice, Jean." The apples of her cheeks are ripened with a blush and I walk towards her, wrapping my arms around her waist. "I'm glad you think so, Banana. " I reply as I kiss the warm skin of her cheek.

She sighs, "We should get going." I nod and give her earlobe a little nibble before releasing her and walking over to the door to put on my shoes. Hannah steadies herself with a hand on my shoulder as she slips on a pair of heels that make her legs look impossibly long and her ass look that much perkier. Naturally, I hold the door open for her so that I can get another glimpse of her backside.

-

When we arrive at her office building, Eren's waiting outside already and oddly enough, not accompanied by Mikasa. I narrow my eyes, trying to size him up and figure out what the hell is going on. I pull Hannah against me and kiss her deeply, "Can I see you later?" I breathe as we part. 

She nods, "I'd like that." I open the door for her and she walks inside, waving to Eren as she passes him.

"What did you need to talk about?"  I question him, immediately wanting to get to the point and get this over with. "The same thing I talked with Marco about when he started getting close to Hannah." He states plainly. I lift an eyebrow at him.

"Hannah doesn't let many people into her life after going through a bad break up."

"Okay..." I use my hand to signal for him to keep going. "They moved in together and even talked about getting married." My eyebrows scrunched together, "Why would you bother telling me this?" I sneer, he's just trying to make me jealous? Angry? Fuck this guy.

"Because he had been cheating on her for _years_ and it fucking _broke_ her when she found out. If I ever even have a sneaking suspicion you are doing the same, I will beat the living shit out of you." His threatening tone and death glare convince me that he's legitimately trying to protect her, but that's not his god damn job-it's mine.

"Fuck you, Jaeger. How dare you think I'd ever do anything to hurt the woman I fucking love, I'll fuck _you_ up if you ever hurt her." I spat back.  His glare lightened and he curiously tilted his head. "You love her? Wow, Jean. Didn't think you were capable of anything more than a quick fuck."

"Don't ever doubt me again when it comes to Hannah.  Does she even know you're telling me this? Don't you think she might see this as a breach of her god damn trust? Don't you think she might want to be the one to talk with me about her past relationships? This fucking conversation is over. " 

\--

When Eren sits down at his desk he looks mad. No, _livid_.  "What happened with Jean?" I asked. He didn't even bother to look at me as he replied, "Don't worry about it." I scrunch my lips to the side, "Well, I'll be here if you want to talk." I decide to text Jean to make sure he's okay after whatever the hell happened in the span of five minutes.

 **Banana**   
You okay?

 **Jean**   
Just fucking peachy.

 **Banana**   
Why are both you and Eren so pissed? What happened?

 **Jean**   
Don't worry about it.

 **Banana**   
That's the same shitty thing he said.   
Now just tell me what the hell happened and get it over with.

 **Jean**   
We exchanged some heated words, Hannah. Don't read too much into it.  

 **Jean**   
I'm sorry, can I make it up to you later?

 **Banana**  
You better.

-

Jean came to pick me up from work today, but instead of waiting outside he came up to get me.  I assume the receptionist had directed him to my desk because the bastard snuck up on me.  "Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile." I jump as he kisses my cheek.

"For fuck sake, Jean." I turn around in my chair and he decides to sit in my lap. I laugh and swivel the chair back around to face my computer to finish up the task I was working on with Jean sitting on me. "Okay Jean, I'm done now, please get your heavy ass off of me." He chuckles, "Sure thing, sweetheart." 

Both Jean and Eren completely ignore each other and I sighed, but I guess it's better than them fighting. When we're driving to his place to pick up more clothes, I speak up. "Jean, please tell me about what happened."  He breathes deeply before responding, "Jaeger wanted to give me the Coles Notes of your past relationship and then threatened me. Needless to say, I was not happy about that."

"Oh. I-im sorry, I should've said something..."

Jean puts his hand on mine, not peeling his eyes from the road in an effort to relax me because of yesterday's events. "I'm upset about what he said and that _he_ shared something personal of yours that I'm sure you would want to be the one to bring up. I'm not at all upset about you not saying anything about that relationship, Hannah."

I breathe a sigh of relief. How is he so nice to me?  "Do you want to know any more about what he said?" He squeezes my hand, "If you're not ready to talk about it, I'm okay waiting."

"Thanks, Jean."  It's not that I didn't want him to know, it's just that I don't want to cry anymore over it.  It won't accomplish anything and I don't need him. When Jean parks in the driveway and opens his car door, I reach out for his arm to pull him back in.  He places a light kiss on my lips and lets them linger and he asks, "What's wrong Banana?"

I peck his lips, "Why don't you grab some more things to bring over? If you want... that is." I feel my cheeks start to heat up as I worry about his refusal. "I'd love that." He smiles radiantly at me, instantly easing my worries. "Good, because I've had a hard time adjusting to living without you." I return his smile as I see him rub the back of his neck and look away in embarrassment. 

I hop out of the car and bound into the Kirstein's house with a new sense of purpose. I've missed seeing Jean every day and after what Marie had said, I feel more confident admitting to myself how much I wanted him to be next to me. How much I needed to be with him, talk with him, touch him.

Marie walks out of the kitchen with her apron covered in an unknown saucy looking substance.  Her music playing in the background just made me want to dance, creating the perfect mood for cooking. "Oh, hi sweetheart! Are you staying for dinner?" I walk over and kiss her cheek, not wanting to transfer the food on her apron to my dress. "Actually I've just come to steal your son for a while if that's okay?"

Jean rests his forearm on my shoulder to lean against me. "You two look nice." Marie smiles sweetly. "Wait here a second!" She calls as she rushes to find something. 

The song changes to _For Once In My Life by Frank Sinatra_ and I feel Jean's arm move from my shoulder to rest his hand in the small of my back.  He weaves his other hand with mine and pulls it close to his chest, starting to sway to the music. Jean mumbles the lyrics quietly and leans his forehead down to meet with mine.  He keeps surprising me with how romantic he truly is, I just wish I could do more. Jean's kind brown eyes never leave my own and I feel that at this moment, we are the only two people in existence. I think I've gotten a glimpse at heaven on Earth...

***SNAP***

We both jump apart and Marie chuckles, "I didn't want to ruin the moment, but it was so sweet I just had to have a picture." I feel my face flush instantly and bury my face into Jean's back.  "So you're staying with Hannah for a while, Jeany?"

"Yeah, it just makes more sense right now since I'm there all the time anyway." Jean's mom hums before teasing, "You might as well move in at this point or I'll never be able to get you out of this house." Jean reaches a hand back to find mine and pulls me out from hiding. "One day I hope he will," I speak up, catching both of them off guard with the sentiment.

Maries expression softens into a smile at me before she connects glances with her son and motions her head to the side, "Go pack, Jean."

 


	30. Dance Around The Subject

Marie puts on a playfully stern face while placing her hands on her hips, "What are your intentions with my son, Miss Watson?" She questions teasingly. I put my finger up to my chin and hum, pretending to think about it. "You know Marie, I think I might end up making an honest man of him." She smiles lightly and her eyes soften into gentle pools of sincerity, "I hope that to be true some day, Hannah." The familiar warmth of a blush creeps under my skin as I glance away, "I do too." 

Marie pulls me into a hug and kisses my cheek. "You two need to admit your feelings already, I'm so tired of dancing around the subject." I laugh awkwardly, "It's not as easy as you make it out to be, Marie." She lets go of me and raises an eyebrow sarcastically, "You both obviously love each other, at the very least like the other romantically. So what's there to lose?"

_"Our friendship."_

_

 _"Our friendship."_ Hannah and I both respond at the same time. I sigh, "Mom I love you, but you can't force a relationship on us."

"Oh please, you're already in one but haven't admitted it to yourselves." She rolls her eyes. I wonder if Hannah thinks of it that way... I look over at the blushing woman I've come to love, smiling as I outwardly ignore my mother's comment. "Ready to go?"

-

After Hannah had made us dinner, we changed into our pajamas and lazed around on the couch. Hannah laid with her head in my lap and I had my feet propped up on the coffee table while we watched TV.  Everything I wanted was laying right in my lap, there was no better way to end a day as the feeling of utter contentment easily flowed through me like water running downstream.

Hannah turns her head to look up at me. "Do you think what your mom said was true?" I run my fingers through her hair, "Which part?" She narrows her eyes slightly, "How much of our conversation did you hear?"

I chuckle, "Probably more than you would've liked." She bites my thigh in retaliation, "Ow! Jeez, if I knew you were into biting I could've done that for you the other night." Hannah rolls her eyes, "So what did you hear that I wouldn't have wanted you to, Hmm?" I take a deep breath and continue playing with the soft strands of her luscious hair that lay in my reach, "Just that you want to make an honest man of me."

When I had heard that, my heart skipped a beat. I always thought that when people used that phrase it was never meant literally, but today I realized that it was. _I felt it_. I knew that she cared for me, but really that's all she's shown. I don't know if she feels the same as I do, if she wants what I do. So hearing her say that to my mother was as if the clouds parted and God said ' _You're meant to be with her, Jean'._

Hannah was biting her plump bottom lip as she looked up at me with vulnerable eyes. "You didn't answer my question from earlier, Jay. Do you think what your mom said was true? About us not admitting we're in a relationship?" Her voice was quiet and filled with sincerity.

My hand caresses Hannah's impossibly smooth cheek, "It's clear after the conversation with my mom that you have the same worry as me. I know we don't really talk about our feelings towards each other, so if it's okay with you, I'd like to talk more about that. " I'm kind of shocked that I'm able to sound like such an adult, talking about feelings and shit... Marco would be proud. She closes her eyes for a moment and nods, pulling herself to sit upright beside me.

"Hannah, the first time I saw you smile I knew I was a goner. Marco knew, even though I wouldn't admit it." I smile sadly at the thought, my best friend truly did know me better than I knew myself. "The moments I've had with you, both good and bad, have made me a better man. The friendship we share is one I'd never jeopardize over a crush, but what I feel for you is stronger than anything I've ever experienced."

Her eyes become glossy as tears overflowed and ran down her cheeks. I lift my hand and use my thumb to wipe them away. "Please don't cry, Banana," I whisper to her as I pull her face closer to mine, resting my forehead against hers. Hannah nods and laughs softly as she sniffles, though the smile she gifts me is one I've never seen before.  It's both confident and self-conscious, subtle and joyful. 

My heart aches to see her cry because of me, even if it's not necessarily bad, but I have to keep going and get it out. She needs to know how I truly feel. "I finally know what love feels like. To whole-heartedly care for someone more than yourself, to love them for their flaws and not in spite of them, to want to live with them and for them. I love you, Hannah Watson. _So_ fucking much."

I kissed her nose, "I love you with my entire being. I sincerely think we could make each other happy, that we aren't jeopardizing our friendship because I have no doubt that one day, I'm going to let you make an honest man outta me."

Hannah smiles softly through her tears, I lean in and place a tender kiss on her lips and feel her smile growing against it. She presses against me more urgently and with fervor, capturing my lips between her own with more pressure.

I pull away slightly, "Hannah." My voice comes out quietly and a bit shaky as I felt her hot breath on my ear when she sucks on my earlobe. "Jean." She replies with a breathy voice. "How do you feel about me... about us?"

Hannah runs a hand through my hair before resting it on my cheek. "You've shown me kindness like no other person has, Jean. It's incredible how quickly I became attached to you when I've guarded my heart for years, it was like I fell in love with you slowly, and then all at once.  Yesterday when I was so upset... it wasn't because of the flashback."

I lean into her hand, taking in every detail of her face right at this moment. Her green eyes looked as if they were stained glass in the most beautiful church and her lips were the color of cherry blossoms in bloom. My heart is bursting at the seams and my chest feels both incredibly heavy and impossibly light.

_I love her, I love her, I love her._

"I was upset because I was so terrified that the same thing might happen to you, that I couldn't live without you in my life. Because I can't, Jean, I need you like I need air to breathe. I don't even want to imagine a life without you. I _can't_. I need to see you every day, touch you, be next to you." Hannah's thumb brushes against my bottom lip and she smiles her beautiful smile, "I'm sorry I'm not as good as you at expressing myself, but please know I am so irreparably in love with you, Jean."

I run my hand through my hair as I try to make sense of this moment in time.  
    
She _loves_ me, _she_ loves me, she loves _me_.

Holy fucking shit! _She loves me._  

A grin sweeps across my face and I couldn't help but laugh, " _Holy shit, Hannah!"_

-

 _"Holy shit, Hannah_!" Jean laughs with an impossibly large grin. How this man is able to love me, I have no fucking clue. How I'm feeling right now, though? This feeling of sheer relief and all-consuming love?  You can't replicate this. You can't buy this and put it up on a shelf or carry it in your purse.  I have no doubts in my mind, _Jean is my destiny._

I close the gap between us with a kiss, but he doesn't stop smiling so I end up kissing his teeth and burst out laughing. "Jean, you idiot! Stop smiling and kiss me already."


	31. All-encompassing

_"Jean, you idiot! Stop smiling and kiss me already."_

She leans forward to kiss me again but I pull back at the last minute. Hannah laughs and playfully pouts, giving me the prime opportunity to capture her plump bottom lip between my teeth.  

Hannah's breath hitches and I slip my tongue into her mouth, pressing it against hers softly.  As our kisses become more heated and lewd, my hands caress her skin, carefully tracing the curves of her body to have them ingrained into my mind.  Leaving one hand on her waist, I lift the other to brush Hannah's hair to lay over one shoulder, revealing her supple skin. 

I tear my lips away from hers, eliciting a quiet whine from the beautiful woman on top of me.  It's soon quelled as I trail kisses slowly down her neck and to her collarbone. Hannah grinds her hips into my lap, the pressure encourages me to let out the groan I've been repressing.  Just below her collarbone, I take her skin in my mouth sucking and nibbling on it before releasing, lapping my tongue to soothe the soon to be bruised area.

Hannah runs her hand through my hair and lightly pulls my face away.  I glance up at her with worry,  "Everything okay? Have I gone too far? I'm s-"  She leans down and pecks my lips while taking my hands into hers and standing up.  Hannah leans back in an effort to pull me off of the couch. I oblige and smile down at her, taking in the scenic view of her hazy, lustful eyes.

The brunette stands up on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around my neck, moving my face closer to hers. She places her lips on mine as her hands lift up my shirt to explore what lies underneath. Barely a moment later she starts backing herself towards her bedroom, not daring to part from my mouth for a second. Her passion is all-encompassing, filling me with a soothing yet fiery warmth of desire and need.  Hannah starts tugging at the collar of my shirt, trying to lift it over my head.

-

I pull Jean up off of the couch and wrap my arms around his neck as I move him closer to me, finally able to return the electricity of his kiss to my lips.  One hand drops to wander under his shirt, feeling the outline of his abs was a new favorite thing of mine.  I couldn't help but try and lead him to my bed while pulling at the collar of his shirt for him to get it off.

Jean releases me for a split second and scrambled to take it off.  Because of his hasty movements, the shirt turns inside out and his arm gets stuck.  I giggle and free his arm before tugging the rest of the shirt over his head.  He had a light blush but took the lead in pushing me towards the bedroom, sliding a hand around my back and expertly unclipping my bra.  

Jean closes my door and backs me up against it, one arm on the door beside my head and the other embedded in my hair.  His kiss becomes more passionate as I admire his sculpted chest with my hands, letting my fingers drift down to the button of his pants.  Jean presses his hips against me, bringing attention to his firm erection. With my hands on his waistband, I push him away slightly and slide down onto my knees, undoing the button quickly. 

I hear Jean exhale a shaky breath and I look up at him through my eyelashes as I palm him over the fabric.  His eyes close and he takes a deep breath, I shimmy the rest of his clothing off, leaving his glorious body on display in front of me.  Taking his length into my hand, I drag my tongue from base to tip, reveling in the look on his face as I glance up.  I slowly take him into my mouth, repeating the action several times at a painstaking pace. 

Jean's hands become tangled in my hair, lightly gripping at the roots as I continue.  I release him with a pop, stroking his shaft and licking the head like a popsicle.  Jean releases my hair from his grip and lightly places his hand under my chin, drawing me up to place a kiss on my lips.  He wraps his arms around my waist and hoists me up, tossing me over his shoulder, leaving me to squeal in surprise.  God, I didn't think he could do _that_.

Jean tosses me on the bed, not bothering to take his time pulling my tank top over my head and tossing it onto the floor with my previously unclasped bra.  His lips press against my neck, before traveling to my ear, _"I love you in every way, Hannah."_

My chest tightens and my heart burns for him, every day I love him more, every day he shows he feels the same. I hum in response as he trails his kisses down to the valley between my breasts.  His hands cup them tenderly as he blows gently across each nipple, causing a shiver to crawl down my spine. 

Jean notices and glances up at me with a smirk, holding eye contact as he licks the nub of my left breast painfully slow in a circular motion. I let my head fall back against the pillow and slide my hand into Jean's soft hair as he switches his attention to the other breast, kneading thoughtfully as to not leave the other unattended.

His kiss trails further as he reaches my pants, letting his hands do more of the work now by caressing my thighs.  With each pass, he gets closer and closer to my core until he finally tears the rest of my clothing off.  Jean tenderly kisses the bare skin of my thighs before placing the softest kiss on my clit, the spark from which elicited a moan to escape.  He parts my folds and lets his tongue slide across the sensitive spot once more, earning himself another sound of arousal. 

 _"Mmm, I could get used to hearing that."_ He breathes as he glances up at me.

Jean takes a finger and slides it between my folds, already feeling how slick they are.  He groans quietly before easing two fingers into my core, plunging them in and out at a steady pace to increase my pleasure.  A few moments later he adds a third, pushing his digits further back and finding the right spot that makes my mewls much more frequent. 

The coil inside of me tightens and tightens as he alternates between sucking and lapping at my clit while simultaneously penetrating me with his fingers. 

 _"Jean, I'm close."_ I breathe out.  He increases his speed and his pressure, pushing me to new levels of pleasure that have me moaning his name.  The coil in my stomach finally snaps as the flow of ecstasy washes through my body as I ride out my orgasm.

Jean leans down beside me and licks his fingers clean, _"How do you taste like honey? You're incredible."_  

With a sly smile that shows I'm not wasting any time, I pull myself up and sit on his lap.  My womanhood already moistened from his ministries causes me to easily glide my lower lips against him.  Jean moans my name before taking hold of my hips and entering me in one swift movement.  Although I was caught slightly off guard, a gasp was the only sound that left my lips.

My hands use Jean's strong chest as leverage to keep myself up and teasingly pull him all the way out of me. I let my warmth only envelop his head for a few movements before leaning back on my hands and taking him all the way in again, his groans in response are guttural and incredibly arousing, instantly making me wetter.   Jean sits up and lowers his head to suck on my nipple while his hands find their way to my ass, desperately increasing the pace at which I'm riding him.  The way he fills my sex is all-encompassing, and with the slightest guidance from my hips, he hits my most sensitive spot with consistent accuracy, leaving me a moaning mess. 

 _"You feel so fucking good, Hannah."_ He breathes into my ear after tearing himself away from my breasts to pull my shoulders forward and flip me onto my back with a low and fucking seductive growl. 

 _"Mmm,  I love it when you take control."_   I murmur against his neck just before sucking the skin into my mouth, increasing my pressure for a moment before releasing it and pressing the warmth of my tongue against the surface to soothe. 

Jean's hands grope my waist and dig in at my hips, anchoring onto them as he thrusts deeper and faster.  After a minute and with a soft sigh he slows his pace, leaning down to give me a tender and passionate kiss.

He pulls away just slightly and caresses my cheek with his thumb with a gentle smile, _"I love you so much."_   

My lips curl up as I focus on his thoughtful eyes, "I love you too, Jean."  

The connection we shared at this moment feels as if we're sharing one heart, one soul.  While it took me by surprise, it was a welcome one.  I just felt so unconditionally and entirely complete, any doubt I ever had of this man's love for me has altogether disintegrated as I experience the embrace of his devotion. 

I place a light kiss on Jean's cheek before moving to nibble on his earlobe to which he responds with a heavy sigh and buries himself as deep into me as possible with a hard thrust.  I squeal with a smile and he chuckles lowly, continuing with vigorous pumps.  

Jean's hand writhes between us and lightly brushes over my clit, the sudden touch evokes a moan that makes him smirk.  He increases his pressure on the sensitive mound in a circular motion while pushing himself into me with an incredible intensity. 

" _Jean..."_ I breathe, feeling that familiar tingling in more core starting to radiate through the rest of my body. 

_"I know, me too."_

That frustratingly blissful feeling of pressure builds up as I climb to the peak of my climax, while moans turn into silent whimpers as I feel my walls contract against Jean's length intensely and with desperation to hold onto this release as long as possible.  Jean groans as he slows his pace slightly in an effort to contain himself and ride out the duration of my euphoric experience.  My grip on the bedsheets weaken slightly and Jean takes this as a sign that I'm now enjoying the sudden and unexpected aftershocks as he bottoms out and lets himself finally lets the rapture of his orgasm.

Jean collapses on top of me, breathing heavily as he rests his face against the soft skin of my breasts.  I lift a hand to run it through his hair, which he's let grow out past his ears now.  When he catches his breath, Jean rolls off of me and I squeal as I feel his length leave my body unexpectedly.  He chuckles quietly and pulls me in for a thoughtful kiss. 

 


	32. A Good Start To A Bad Day

Our alarm goes off and Jean just grumbles, hitting snooze once again.  I elbow him gently, "Jean, come on we've gotta get up."  I murmur into his ear and nibble it gently.  

He sighs and pulls me into his chest, mumbling something incoherent. I now feel his morning wood and giggle as I reach down to stroke it lightly, "Hmm, seems you're already up." 

Jean chuckles, "Don't tease me before work, Banana." 

I climb on top of him and lean down to kiss him while rubbing my hips against his length.  He growls and flips me over, caging me between his arms. "Don’t start something we don't have time to finish." 

The intensity of desire deep in his eyes captures me by surprise and now I'm unwilling to let this go unfinished. I push one finger against his lips as I reach out for my phone.  He sighs but I lower my hand from his lips to start pushing his underwear off. 

\-   
**Hannah**   
Going to be a bit late to work. Cover for me.

 **Cry Face**   
I don't even want to know.

-

Jean picks me up and throws me over his shoulder like he did last night, leaving me to squeal as I still haven't adapted to the motion.  He laughs and slaps my ass, carrying me into the washroom and setting me down on the countertop.  Jean turns on the shower and adjusts the temperature before kissing me passionately.  He desperately pulls at the bottom of my tank top and I lift my arms up.  He peels the clothing off of me, breaking our kiss for the quickest moment to let the fabric pass over my head.  Jean lifts me off of the counter and slides my panties off before I jump onto him with my legs around his waist and his hands grasping my ass.

Jean pulls the shower curtain to the side and steps into the tub, pulling the curtain closed behind us to keep in as much warmth as possible.  I lean my head back into the cascading water and Jean assaults my neck with kisses, letting his lips slowly drag across my skin with every movement.  I press myself into him further, my neediness starting to show already as all I want is to feel him inside me.  

I feel his lips curl up against my skin, " _Don't be so hasty, Banana_." He husks into my ear as he sucks it between his lips.  

I giggle and pick up a bottle of shampoo, "Well since we're here... do you mind?"

Jean chuckles as he adjusts to steady me with just one arm under my ass.

"Holy shit, you're strong," I mumble as he squeezes the shampoo into his hand and starts massaging it into my hair and quickly rinses it out.  

His brown eyes meet mine with a playful wink, backing me up against the wall and placing both hands on my thighs to lift them onto his shoulders.  "

 _Fuck, Jean_."  My voice is breathier than expected but soon moans of pleasure echo within the walls of the washroom as his tongue circles and flicks my clit.

My hips move on their own as they push more of me against him. Jean encases the sensitive bundle of nerves with his lips, at first sucking with the softest intensity before increasing the pressure as I whimper to him, " _Jean, please_." 

He nibbles on my clit before humming in response, sending chills through my entire body. " _Please what_?" His eyes flicker up to mine with a playful glint.

I grip his hair gently after running a hand through it, _"I need to feel you inside me."_

Jean groans and moves his hands to my hips, lowering me down to my feet for the first time since we entered the room.  I place my hand authoritatively on his chest, pushing him into the flowing water so I can place my hands against the wall.  I arch my back to push my ass out and glance at the god damn sexy man behind me with a mischievous smirk. 

Jean bites his bottom lip and admires the view for a moment, stroking his shaft a few times before closing the distance between us.  He rubs the head of his cock against my clit before sliding into my sex with a groan.  I back up into him, letting his length fill me completely as I desperately call out his name.   

Jean grabs onto my hips and begins thrusting, creating a devoted rhythm that already has me so close to my climax after his earlier ministrations. 

As Jean notices my mewls getting louder and more frequent, he leans himself into me, getting even deeper than I imagined and takes hold of my left breast.  I gasp as a tingle shoots down through to my base when he pinches and tugs at my sensitive nipple.  Jean moans as he feels my walls tighten from the experience and he moves his muscular arm to prop my foot up on the ledge of the porcelain tub and straighten me up a bit. He positions his chest flush with my back as he kisses my neck. 

 _"I want you to cum for me, Hannah."_ He breathes as he's snaking his hand down between my legs and teasing my clit to send me over the edge, both of us simultaneously reaching our peaks.

Jean pulls out and turns me around, wrapping my tightly in his arms before placing a soft kiss on my forehead.   I nuzzle into the crook of his neck for a moment, placing a kiss on his soft skin before leaning over pinching his butt.

Jean chuckles and swats my hand away, "Alright you vile temptress, we need to _actually_ get ready for work."

-

Jean walks me up to the door to my office and squeezes my hand, "I'm gonna have to work later tonight to make up for being late. If you're okay waiting I can pick you up?"

I lift a hand to caress his cheek, "I'll ask Eren or I'll take the bus, don't worry your pretty little head about it."

-

I'd decided to just take the bus today, I didn't want to bother Eren and I could use a bit of time to myself.  I take a seat near the back by the window and place my bag on the seat next to me, not feeling like sitting with some random person.  

Halfway to my apartment, someone lifts my bag, "What the fu-"

My eyes meet piercing blue ones, the eyebrows above them raised challengingly.  I'm completely taken aback, unable to even fucking move. 

I haven't seen Reiner since I picked up my shit from our former apartment, and that's the way I hoped it would stay.  I feel sick to my stomach, dizzy, and immensely sad as the reminder of what happened plays back in my mind.   
\-   
_"How could you do this to me?" I sobbed, hitting his chest with my closed fists as he tries to hold me and calm me down._

_"Nothing happened, Hanny. Nothing. I promise."_

_"BULLSHIT NOTHING HAPPENED, YOU LYING SACK OF SHIT!" I scream at him through tears._

_"Hannah, you've got to believe me. I love you."_

_I scoff, "You LOVE me? Do you love HER too?! How can you claim nothing happened when YOU sent ME the fucking proof!"_

_My entire body is swirling with emotions, with dread, with an indescribable pain that left me feeling as if I were drowning, not even bothering to grasp for the surface._

_I pull out my phone and read him the text that I had stared at for hours on end.  "I'll be over after she goes to sleep.  You better be wearing that sexy little number you wore for me on my birthday last year."_

_"LAST YEAR! FOR FUCK SAKE, REINER!" I yell at him, backing away as far as I could._

_He continued pursuing me, "Hannah, you're over reacting! It's fucking nothing!"_

_His fist hits the wall and goes right through the drywall. My eyes widen in both shock and fear._

_"I'm not over reacting, Reiner. We both know this is over, you've been cheating on me for at least a year. You might as well tell the truth for once.  How long has it really been?  Who is she? Do I know her?" My voice gets quiet as I start accepting that it's over._

_Years of my life I've been living a lie, thinking I'd been in a loving relationship.  Thinking that this man really and truly loved me._

_He pulls at his hair, before sighing in defeat. "This little blonde Christa hit on me at a bar a few years back. It was never anything more than sex. I don't love her or feel anything close to what I feel for you. Ask Bert, he'll confirm."_

_"A few years..." I whisper, wrapping myself in a hug as I feel completely and utterly betrayed._

_"Bert knows? You weren't even ashamed enough to keep it a secret? Who else knew?"_

_"Annie."  Of course, she does._

_"Were you fucking her too?"  I sneer, feeling more righteous and completely forgetting he just stuck his hand through a wall._

_The burly man walks up to me slowly, cornering me against the wall as he towers over me._

_"Would my answer even make a god damn difference?!" He shouts loudly into my face._

_I do everything I can to try and keep myself from shaking, to keep my teeth from chattering, to show him the fear I feel at this moment._

_"WOULD IT?!" He slams his hand on the wall beside my head._

_"No," I whisper._

\-   
"Hey Hanny, still looking good these days." He smirks as his eyes rake down my body in a bone-chilling way.  

I move as close to the window as possible while keeping up a calm façade. "Christa does too, I saw her a few weeks ago," I comment, keeping my voice as level and cold as I can.  

As if what I said went in one ear and out the other, he props his arm up on the seat to rest behind me and picks up a piece of my hair to play with it.  "I heard you were in an accident but you look as radiant as ever."   

I rise from my seat to get off the bus and he grabs my wrist tightly and pulls me down. "Not so fast, beautiful.  We have to catch up."  

I rip my arm out of his hands and side step in front of him to get out and that bold motherfucker grabs my ass and squeezes tightly. 

I yelp, drawing attention to us and slap him straight across the face. "Fuck you, asshole. Don't you _EVER_ touch me again." 

I walk off the bus and stand there, waiting for it to leave so he doesn't see which way I go.   
  


 


	33. Smart Girl

I didn't realize I was crying until I turned a corner and the wind hit my face, making the tears cold against my cheeks. I wipe my face against the sleeve of my jacket but they just keep coming anyway. 

When I get home I immediately lock the door as Tuna weaves in and out of my legs.  I feed her before crawling into my bed, tucking the blankets as close to my body as possible as if they were a protective barrier.  I don't know how long I sobbed for, but I eventually had no more tears to cry.

The overwhelming feelings of self-hatred and hopelessness suffocate me as if I'm standing in the middle of a raging fire and the oxygen is being sucked from my lungs.  All I could do was stare blankly at the alarm clock on my nightstand, not registering the illuminated numbers while I thought about how mad Jean's going to be that I'm upset about him. About another man. About my former lover.  What if he leaves me?

Oh god. _What if he leaves me..._

There was a knock on the door and I burrowed myself further into the blanket.  More knocks came in rapid succession. I still ignored it.  

My phone buzzes on the table next to me. I glance over at it and when I see Jean's name I answer.

"Hey, Jay." I try to keep my voice as steady as possible.

"Hey Banana, are you okay?" Immediately he's concerned, which just makes me feel guilty.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine."

"Can you unlock your door for me so I can come to cuddle you?" 

The tightness in my chest increasing tenfold as he just gets sweeter. He's too good for me. Is he going to hate me?

"Banana?" He brings me out of my thoughts.

I toss the blanket off and walk over the door, unlocking it and opening it for Jean. He wraps me up in his arms tightly and pulls my head against his chest, thoughtfully brushing his fingers through my hair. 

Jean presses his lips against the top of my head before murmuring, "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"I don't think you want to know, Jean."

Jean releases his hold on me before sweeping an arm under my knees and picking me up in a princess carry to bring me to the bedroom. Jean takes off my jacket before sliding me into the bed and climbing in behind me.

"If something is upsetting you, I will always want to know. Hell, I always want to know what you're thinking Hannah."  Jean smiles softly at me as his eyes search mine for answers. 

After taking a deep breath I compose my thoughts, "I took the bus home... and ran into Reiner."

___

As soon as I had heard her voice on the phone, I knew she was far from okay.  She didn't sound like herself, she sounded timid and meek. Two things I've never known her to be. 

"I took the bus home... and ran into Reiner." Her expression is almost pained. 

Was she having second thoughts about him? About us?

"Okay, did something happen?" I follow up.

"Yes."

My heart drops. "Please talk to me, Hannah."

"He sat next to me and was hitting on me. I just brushed it off, but he tried to keep me from getting off the bus. So I had to walk in front of him and... and he grabbed me."

Hannah won't focus her eyes on me anymore, she looks past me.  Holy _FUCK_. I need to keep calm for her sake, but to say I'm angry is a fucking understatement. I ball my hands into fists to try and subdue myself. 

"What do you mean he grabbed you?" I ask quietly, not wanting to upset her more than necessary.

"He grabbed my ass. I told him never to touch me again and slapped him." Her eyebrows are furrowed and her lips are drawn into a tight line; I know this is obviously hard for her. 

"I'm so sorry, Hannah," I whisper as I wrap a strand of her silky brown hair behind her ear, continuing to run my fingers through afterwards.

"You're not mad at me?" The emerald eyes I've fallen for finally meet mine, and I see they're filled with doubt and despair. 

I keep my gaze locked on hers, "Why would I be mad at you? Hmm? "

Hannah sigh, "For being upset about another man."

"Sweetheart, you were harassed by your ex. You're allowed to be upset." I cup her cheek and lean down to place an innocent kiss on her lips. 

Her expression softens and her eyes become glossy with tears.

"S-so you don't hate me?" She asks quietly as tears begin spilling over her eyelids and down her cheeks. 

I kiss a few of her salty tears away, "I could never hate you, Banana."

Hannah closes her eyes and snuggles into the crook of my neck. 

"I think I should tell you about what happened."  She mumbles against me. 

Hannah lays on her back, staring at the ceiling as she briefly recounts her relationship with Reiner, how serious it was and how deeply she cared for him. How she never knew something was going on and never even had a doubt of his commitment to her.

Once she started getting into the breakup though, it made me understand more why she locked the door.

"Did he see where you went when you got off the bus?" I interrupt.

She shook her head, "I just stood at the bus stop until it was out of view before I started walking."

I kiss her cheek, "Smart girl."

"Oh, and get this.  I didn't put it together until I was reminded of what he'd said that day.  He was cheating on me with _Christa_." She shakes her head incredulously.

"How do you know? I mean, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't put it past her." She clearly wasn't a good-hearted person, she just used people until she got what she wanted.

“He had said it was a _little blonde named Christa who hit on him at a bar_.”  She mocks Reiner and I couldn't help but laugh. 

I climb on top of Hannah and kiss her deeply, gazing into her sparkling green hues after pulling away. “I love you, Hannah Watson.”

She takes a deep breath and smiles lightly, “I love you too, Jean.”

I roll off of her and pull her onto me in one swift motion as she giggles.

“I can only imagine how difficult it would be to trust anyone after being deceived for years. I know that my saying this won't mean much, but Hannah I swear to every god there is that I will _never_ do that to you.”

Before she can answer, her stomach grumbles loudly. “Are you craving pizza?”

A sly smile grows on my lips. Hannah just shrugs, “Because I'd love to get a pizz-a you.” I add with a wink.

The woman groans, “God, Jay. That one was _bad_.”

I lean up and kiss her cheek, “Really tho, pizza?” 

We couldn't decide on one topping combo so we ended up getting half pepperoni, half red pepper, and mushrooms.  We propped ourselves up on the couch and each grabbed a slice of the one we preferred.

Hannah takes a bite of her pepperoni slice and then glances over at me out of the corner of her eyes.  She looks from my eyes to my slice and then back to my eyes. I shake my head no and take another bite. Hannah leans closer to me and opens her mouth for me to insert pizza.  I let her hang there like an idiot and after a moment she huffed like a child, her cheeks puffing out and everything.

It was both the cutest and funniest thing I'd seen her do and I laughed so hard I was shaking… so hard that my pizza fell out of my hands and immediately I'm silent. This is a grave situation.

Hannah smirks, “Well, well, well.  How the mighty have fallen!”

“Hannah, it's a dropped piece of pizza. Stop being so dramatic.” 

She scoffs with fake offense, “Me? Dramatic? Never!”  

 _God, I love this woman._ I peck her cheek and grab a new slice, offering her the first bite which she willingly takes and happily chews it. 

 


	34. Hannahbear

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to waking up beside Hannah, but I know this is where I want to be every second of every day.  I prop myself up on my elbow, taking a few long moments to admire her beauty. God, she’s turned me into such a damn sap.

I brush Hannah’s messy hair to the side and place a soft kiss on her neck.  She smiles and lets out a quiet hum as she tilts her head to face me.

“You’re so handsome.” She mumbles with a sleepy smile, lifting a hand to run through my hair.  

“Did you have any plans tonight, Banana?” I question, returning her smile with a gentle kiss.

Hannah shakes her head, “After work, I’m all yours Jay.”

“W-Would you like to go on a date?”

Shit, why am I so nervous? I guess there’s still a possibility of her saying no… then it hit me.  I haven’t officially asked her to be my girlfriend. _Fuck_. 

A sly smile spreads over her lips, “Hmm. I’m not sure who I’d go with though…”

I flick her forehead, “Would you like to go on a date, with _me_? Smartass.”

She giggles and pecks my cheek, “I’d like that very much.”

“Perfect.  I’ll pick you up from work and we’ll head out from there.”   
\-----

If Jean's taking me out _right_ after work I have to find something suitable for both work and a date… _fuck_.

The sound of hangers scraping across their metal rod for the umpteenth time earned me a chuckle from Jean. 

“Banana, whatever you wear to work will be fine.”

“I want to look good for you on our first date!” I defend as I cross my arms in front of my chest.

Jean wraps his strong arms around my waist, making my back flush with his muscular chest.  He gathers my hair to one side and places a soft kiss behind my ear. 

“You look beautiful in everything, sweetheart. You could wear my sweatpants and hoodie and are still the most breathtaking woman I've ever seen.” 

I sigh and turn around to face him, “Thanks, Jay.” 

A kiss is placed on my forehead before he smacks my ass.

“Now get dressed or we're gonna be late.”

I ended up choosing a charcoal grey sweetheart neckline blouse tucked into a high waisted black half-circle skirt with some basic black pumps.  When I came out of my bedroom, Jean's eyes raked over my body as he handed me my morning coffee.

“Damn, Watson.” He smirks and I curtsy in response.

\-   
"Hannah we need you to meet with the contractor on the Centennial account."

I glance up at my superior, "Doesn't Jaeger usually deal with the contractors?"  

His grey eyes narrow yet his otherwise bored expression stays the same, "Are you questioning my judgment, brat?"

I sigh, "No, Mr.Ackerman... I was just hoping for clarification, that's all.

"Jaeger's busy working on another issue today and you're the project co-ordinator for this account so you're the next best person to go." He says, tossing a file on top of my keyboard.

"These are the particulars you need to settle. I need the finalized paperwork on my desk before end of day."

"Yes, sir."

After the short and always angry man walks away, I crinkle a piece of scrap paper into a ball and pelt it at Eren.  He's on the phone but tilts the receiver away, "I'm on hold. What's up, Watson?"

"I need the contractor contact info for Centennial." 

Eren frowns, "Why would you need that?"

"Napoleon says you're busy and he needs shit settled by end of day."

"I'll get it done," Eren states, his eyes lighting with a fierce determination that vastly confuses me. 

"Dude. If you're busy, you're busy. Just give me the info."

He runs his hand through his black hair before pinching the bridge of his nose.  "No."

"For fuck sake. _I'm_ the one who's going to get shit on if this doesn't get done, asshole. Just give me the damn email."

"It's Bertholdt."

"... _fuck_." I breathe out.

Eren's lips are pulled into a straight line, the look of concern mixed with pity makes me pissed off. If Reiner's not there then it's fine, right? He can't get to me. I'm _not_ letting him run my life again and certainly not going to let his dickwad friend cause me to lose my job.

I hold out my hand for his business card and Eren cautiously hands it over. Instead of emailing I call, I'd rather get this over with now than spend the entire day playing email tag.

He picks up on the first ring, "Hoover."

"Hey Bert, it's Hannah. Long-time no talk."

I could hear his lips turn up into a smile.  I actually thought Bertholdt was a decent guy before Reiner told me he had known about the affair...

"Hey, Hannahbear. Reiner mentioned he saw you yesterday, is that what this is about?" 

 _Hannahbear_ is what the two of them always called me, a teasing nickname after they found out a brought a teddy bear to college, I hated it then and the sound of it now has me choking back bile.

I clear my throat before continuing, "No, actually this is a business call. I'm the project coordinator on the new AllSafe renovations, Jaeger's got a lot on his plate so I'm the one finalizing your plans.  Can I bring you a coffee and we'll hash out the details?"

He hums, "Sure Han. Bring for the crew too. There's 5 including me. Two coffees are 2 and 2, two are 3 and 3, one is black with 1 sugar."

My eyes widen, that's _his_ order. Fuck Fuck FUCK.

"O-okay Bert. I'll be down to the site in an hour or so."

"Later."

\-   
Eren's off hold now and speaking with a client but studying my face.  My mind is a shitshow right now.  What do I do? What do I say? Can I get out of this? Will I lose my job? What if I jeopardize the project?

A heavy hand lands on my shoulder and I jump entirely out of my chair, turning around to see who touched me.  My eyes widen with both shock and embarrassment, "Oh god. I-I'm so sorry."

" _Tch_. What's up your ass today, brat?"

I breathe deeply to calm myself before answering, "It's nothing, sir."

"I just saw you jump a foot into the air and onto your feet from me touching your shoulder. I'm only going to ask once more. What's going on?"

I rub my temples in slow circles, trying to soothe myself but it's not working.  "My ex is on that account. It ended badly. To make things worse, I ran into him yesterday on the bus and it was a...precarious situation for me." I blurted out WAY too much information and immediately regretted it, my cheeks burning like the surface of the sun. 

"I-I won't let it affect my j-."

Mr.Ackerman cuts me off, "I'll accompany you. Let's go."

"But sir... I'm sure you have better things to do. I'll be fine. I won't do anything jeopardize the account, I swear you can trust me." My hurried voice just seems to annoy him more as his lean yet muscular arms cross in front of his chest.

"It's not your trust in question. I'm unwilling to subject an employee to a potentially dangerous situation.  Get your shit, we're leaving now."

As I gather my paperwork along with my jacket I feel the intensity of eyes burning into the back of my head, knowing they belong to my boss just makes me all the more nervous.

As we walk silently through the hallways of the building I finally work up the nerve to speak up.  While I wouldn't consider myself a quiet person, I've always been anxious around authority figures, well other than my parents. 

"We have to pick up coffee for the crew. I have their orders written down, sir."

His only response is a nod as he leads me to his black BMW, opening the passenger door for me first.  I couldn't suppress the warming of my cheeks, which embarrassed me more so I focused my attention out the window.

I wonder what Jean's doing right now...

-

I bang my head on the cold surface of my desk, narrowly avoiding my keyboard.  The sound of Erwin's laugh from beside me has my fists clench hard enough to turn my knuckles white.  I'm much too preoccupied trying to figure out where I'm going to take Hannah tonight to bother getting too upset with him. It's our first real date, I've got to make it memorable...

-

I take a deep breath as we pull up to the job site and exit the car.  Instantly I'm harassed with various catcalls but I'm able to ignore it,  I have to restrain myself as I'm unwilling to jeopardize my job. 

"Hey, sugartits, why don't you come over here and I'll show you a good time."  A pot-bellied man with disgustingly greasy black hair calls out, this time I couldn't hide my scowl. 

I feel Ackerman's shoulders brush against mine as he subtly and protectively positions himself a pace in front of me. 

"You know you'd be much prettier if you smiled." He continues.

A rageful crimson haze veiled my green eyes for a moment and I just couldn't bite my tongue this time. 

"Hey, buddy, what was your coffee order?" I call out to this medieval dickweed.

"Triple triple, sweetheart.  Come bring it over and maybe I'll give you something to remember me by."

Ackerman glances over his shoulder at me, his grey eyes meeting with mine for half a second before his eyes flicker down to my hand as I pull out a coffee cup.  I nod over to the greaseball and catch his dead eyes with mine, I put on my prettiest smile, and slowly pour the contents of the cup on the ground beside me, dropping the cup and walking away.

A booming laugh erupts from across the room and my head turns in the direction of the sound.  When my eyes meet Reiner's I tense up but begin walking towards the group of men, my superior now walking in step with me. 

I distribute the drinks until I reach Reiner, who purposefully places his hand directly on top of mine with a firm grip.  I glare, "Let go."

He smirks, "And what if I don't?"

"Then we'll halt all work on this project until we find another company to complete it, presumably leaving you out of a job.  Hands off."  Mr. Ackerman's voice is laced with venom as he walks up behind me, staring down Reiner until he begrudgingly releases my hand.

"Had to bring a bodyguard today, _Hannahbear_? You know I'd never let anyone hurt you."  He reaches out a hand to touch my face but instead of replying I turn and walk to Bertholdt.

After greeting him, I pull out the folder with the agreement, letting him peruse the documents before signing.

"You didn't have any additions?"   
He shrugs, "Seems accurate as it is.  Here you go."

We pass that same asshole on the way out, but this time he gets close enough to spit on me, the putrid liquid hitting my cheek as he calls out, "Bitch."

My eyes widen but I keep walking and I wipe my face, my boss is here and at this point, anything I would've done in response would jeopardize the project.

Turns out that Mr.Ackerman didn't care. I kept walking until I heard him speak, "You need to learn some fucking manners." 

He glares at the man as he stalks towards him, "Unlucky for you, I prefer the tough love approach."

Before the asshole could even move a muscle, the short raven-haired man punched him in the gut, causing him to grunt and hold his stomach.  Ackerman then gave him a solid strike on the cheek and simply turned to make his way towards me. _Holy shit_. What _was_ that?

We make our way back to his car in complete silence.  "Thank you, sir.  You didn't have to do that, though."

Ackerman doesn't take his eyes off of the road while he runs a hand through his hair before responding, "You don't have to be so formal when we're alone, call me Levi."

My lips curl up the slightest bit, recalling how I was chastised for calling him by his first name in my interview. "Okay, thanks, Levi."

"Do you deal with that often?" He glances over at me. 

"It's usually only when visiting job sites. It's a fine line between standing up for myself and jeopardizing accounts, so I mostly end up staying quiet."

Levi clicks his tongue, "Well don't. I can't accompany you every time and you shouldn't be subjected to such treatment anyway, so you might as well speak your mind. If we lose the contract, we lose the contract."

"Thank you, sir," I mumble, digging through my purse to pull out my phone.

 **Jean**   
Can't wait to see you later.

 **Banana**   
Back at cha, hot stuff. 

 


	35. A Real First Date

Back at the office Eren immediately bombards me with questions. "How'd it go? What happened? Was Reiner there?"   
  
"Not as bad as it could have. Shit happened but the contract is signed. Yes, he was." I answer his questions rapid-fire, wanting nothing more than to stop thinking about this.   
  
"Shit happened?"   
  
"Napoleon took care of it so nothing escalated."   
  
He hums, "Ackerfuck went with you?"   
  
"I heard that you little shit," Levi calls out as he walks past and I couldn't help but chuckle.   
  
\-   
  
Soon enough I hear a familiar voice behind me, "Hey Banana."

Jean walks closer to my office chair and sweeps my hair to cascade over my left shoulder, placing a kiss on the base of my neck. 

I hum and tilt my head back to smile up at him, "Just let me finish up this email, Jay."   
  
He places a kiss underneath my ear and breathes, "Go ahead, I'll wait here."

Jean continues placing his lips on my neck, slowly dragging them across my skin to areas he's left unexplored.  That is until someone clears their throat behind us.   
  
"Since you're getting to first base here, I'm assuming you've sent the completed contracts, Ms.Watson?"   
  
My fucking face feels as it was doused in gasoline and set ablaze. "Y-yes, sir. Just sent them off and CC'd you on the email."   
  
I watch as Levi studies Jean with narrowed eyes before they meet my own.

"You're okay?" He sounds as stoic as ever, but the storm inside his grey orbs is swirling with concern. 

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a sweet gesture that he's checking up on me because it is. I never would've thought he'd be the type to actually give a shit about anyone though.   
  
I nod with a slight smile, holding my gaze to his as I reply, "Yes. Thank you again for earlier Mr.Ackerman."

Levi's eyes flicker over to Jean once again before walking away without a word.   
  
Jean raises an eyebrow at me, "The hell was that?"   
  
"This isn't the place to fill you in. I believe I was promised a date, good sir."   
  
Jean bows before offering me his arm, which I attach myself to after grabbing my purse and jacket off the top of my chair.    
  
Jean places his hand on my knee as he drives, drawing circles with his thumb gently on my skin. 

"So what's the plan, Jay?" I look over and admire his profile, the smooth outline of his features illuminated by the setting sun leaves me mesmerized.   
  
A beat later Jean announces, "We're here."

He parks and the gentle smile on his lips begs for me to kiss them.  As if he read my mind, Jean leans over the center console of his car and cups my cheek, guiding my lips to his. When he releases me from the kiss he gifted, I see we're at the diner my parents would take me to as a kid.    
  
My lips curl up, "Aww, this is a great choice Jean."   
  
"Wait here." Jean grins as hops out of the car and races over to my door, opening it for me.  

I chuckle, "Why thank you."   
  
Jean opens the restaurant door and the sight before me is _not_ what I was expecting.   
  
The diner owners were standing together off to the side, smiling at us as they watched my reaction. The lights had been dimmed as the entire room is filled with various sizes of candles that illuminated the venue with a soft glow, a bouquet of roses was placed in the center of every table.     
  
"Jean...I.. _wow_."  Tears sting behind my eyes, he arranged all of this for me? _I don't deserve this._ My heart contracts within my chest with the thought: _I don't deserve him_.   
  
He squeezes my hand and leads me to the same booth we sat in last time.  "This is too much, Jean..." I whisper over to him after I scooch into the booth, my head tilted down to hide my weeping eyes.    
  
Jean slides out from his side and then in next to me.  His thumb and finger guide my chin so I face him. My vision was blurred by tears, but I knew he was smiling gently.  Jean lifts his hands to wipe the salty water streaking down my cheeks, "Banana, you deserve this and much more."   
  
I sniffle, trying to compose myself before responding, "You're too good for me."     
  
Jean chuckles, "We were made for each other, Hannah. I... I realized I hadn't actually asked you to be my girlfriend.  I don't want any grey areas or doubts about my intentions.  I love you, Hannah. Would you be m-"   
  
I couldn't even let him finish before I urgently pressed my lips against his.  "Of course," I mumble against him supple flesh before capturing him once again in a needy kiss.  

Jean combs his hand through my hair and parts from my lips, resting his forehead against mine to allow me to see his bright smile.   
  
"I love seeing you smile like this," I whisper as our eyes lock.     
  
"I can't help it when I'm with you, Banana."   
  
After ordering our food Jean props his elbow up on the table across from me, letting his hand hold up his chin. "So what was that back at the office?"   
  
"I had to meet with a contractor today because Eren was busy with something else...when I found out it was one of Reiner's friends I kinda freaked."   
  
Jean's eyebrows furrow together as he frowns, "Did something happen? I swear I'll fu-"  
  
I place my hand on his and he pauses. "My boss noticed before I left and I ended up telling him that I suspected my ex might be there and that our last encounter was sketchy.  He decided to come with me to be safe."   
  
He raises his other hand and rubs his forehead to try and release the tension, "Why couldn't he just go himself then?"   
  
"He's not familiar with the contract and I'm the project manager.  If there were any questions he wouldn't have been able to answer them."   
  
"I'm right in assuming that fuck tried something, aren't I?"   
  
"He wouldn't let go of my hand when I gave him his coffee. Levi quickly noticed and alleviated the situation, even beat up some other guy who was being a dick."   
  
"Jesus fucking Christ, there was another?" Jean asked through gritted teeth, now looking behind me rather than at me.   
  
"This gross guy was hitting on me as soon as I walked in and I poured his coffee out on the ground." 

His brown eyes flicker back to mine, "So you put him in his place, then."   
  
I rub the back of my neck, "Well, I thought I did.  When we were leaving he spat on me and called me a bitch... that's when Levi stepped in... again."   
  
Jean sighs and buries his face in his hand. "I-I'm sorry, Jean..."  My heart falls through to my feet like an elevator with cut cables. I've hurt him... I shouldn't have said anything.   
  
After a long moment he looks up at me, his eyes glossy and brows furrowed. "Hannah, you have nothing to apologize for. I just... I wish I could keep you safe."   
  
\-   
How is it that this fucking prick keeps slithering back? _Why now?_   I need to keep her safe, but how?! If something happened to her I don't know what I'd fucking do...    
  
My heart tightens in my chest and my brain fogs at the thought of something horrible happening to her again. I'm snapped out of the nightmare playing behind my eyes as she places her hand on my cheek, leaning over the table. 

"Jay..." Her melodic voice softly calls out to me.   
  
I lay my hand on top of hers as I fight to hide the vulnerability I know I'm showing as I blink back the tears that are threatening to spill, saying the only thing I need her to know. "I love you."

Her thumb caresses my skin, "I love you back."   
  
"I'm taking you to and from work every day, okay? If you ever need to visit that account again please let me come with you...we were lucky your boss had enough brains to go with you, but I don't want you relying on another man to protect you."   
  
She frowns, pulling her hand out from under mine and into her lap. "Jean, you can't babysit me every hour of every day and I won't let you.  I can't live my life in constant fear of running into my douchebag ex, if I do that he wins."   
  
Taking a deep breath, I try and compose myself.  I know she's right, but how could I live with myself knowing something happened? Knowing she could get hurt? "I'm sorry, Hannah. I... I just couldn't take it if something happened to you. You're my world."   
  
  


 


	36. An Offer Not To Be Refused

"Watson. My office."

Eren leans to the side of his screen, raising a questioning eyebrow but I shrug. I have no idea what he wants.

Levi leans against the door frame to his office, for someone rather vertically challenged, it's incredible how tall he makes himself seem just with the air of confidence he holds.  I pause in front of him and he motions for me to enter the room, following behind me and closing the door. 

"Have a seat." He instructs and I sit in one of the padded chairs across from his desk. 

Levi rolls his shirt sleeves up to his elbows, giving me a view of his muscular forearms that makes my face flush in embarrassment for noticing. As my superior takes the seat across from me, he props his elbow up on the mahogany desk, letting his fingers weave together flatly as he rests his chin on them.  He studies me with slight curiosity and a subtle smirk. 

"Have I done something wrong, sir? I was certain there were no errors with yesterday's contract..." I break the silence first.

"No." He states plainly.

"Then may I ask why you've called me into your office, Mr.Ackerman?"

"Levi."

I purse my lips and glance away, "Right. Sorry."

"I'd like to teach you something and I will not be taking no for an answer, Hannah."

My first name falling from his lips has my stomach turning and doing flips...it just sounds weird.

"What might that be, Levi?"

A subtle smirk raises his lips, "I'm going to teach you how to fight."

 _Uhhh what?_   I couldn't help but laugh, "Sir this is hardly a work-related issue. Pretty sure it couldn't be justifiable during work hours."

"Your safety on job sites is a work-related issue, however, I have thought of that as well. Therefore every lunch hour until I deem you capable of defending yourself, we will be using the private gym in the basement of the building to train."

Wow, he really is serious about this... I mean, it might help ease Jean's anxieties as well as my own.  It's worth a shot, right?

"Oi, brat."

My eyes flicker back up to the intensity of Levi's grey ones.  "Sorry, sir.  Just lost in thought..."

"So you'll do it?"

"I thought _'I will not be taking no as an answer, Hannah'_   didn't give me the option of refusing?" I tease him as I try to imitate his voice and I swear it almost got a laugh out of him.

"God, you're shitty at impressions. I don't sound like fucking batman, idiot."

My shoulders lift and fall in a lazy shrug as I grin, proud of my ability to get some sort of reaction from him.

"Tomorrow at noon, you'll report to the basement gym. Bring appropriate clothing and footwear."

"Yes, sir."

Walking to the door, Levi's voice stops me as my hand reaches the knob, "Stop fucking calling me sir."

"All the time or just now?" My curious green eyes meet his as I glance over my shoulder at him, waiting for a response. 

His eyes flicker away for a quick moment as a smirk travels across his lips.  When his eyes reconnect with mine it's as if his irises had changed color from their usual stormy grey to a subtle blue.  "Just when we're alone, I suppose."

I nod and turn the handle of the door, but as I leave the room I hear him add in an uncharacteristically playful tone, " _Unless_ you're into that sort of thing."

-

"So what was that all about?" Eren questions as I situate myself back at my desk. "And _why_ are you blushing?"

I place my hands on my cheeks and feel the heat radiating off of them, _fuck_... I am blushing.

"DID SOMETHING HAPPEN WIT-" Mikasa was walking by right at that moment and smacked the back of Eren's head, shutting him up entirely.

I silently thank the raven-haired beauty in front of me with a smile and she nods in acceptance before continuing past Eren's desk and to the fax machine. Leaning closer to his desk from my own, I hiss, "No, jackass.  It was just a weird meeting, we can talk about it later."

Eren leans closer as well and smirks, "I hate the grumpy dwarf less than I hate that horse-faced fuck, Hanny. He'd be a better choice."

"Shut the fuck up, Jaeger." My eyes narrow at him and voice unconsciously raises to a more audible level.

"What? It's true. You can do way better than that Seabiscuit motherfucker. At least the crotchety shrimp over here has charact-"

For the second time today, Eren is cut off, but this time I don't see Mikasa... just my friends face as white as a sheet as he suddenly averts his eyes to look at his monitor.

"If he continues to act in such a manner perhaps he will be your practice dummy." Levi's low, silky smooth voice reaches my ears from behind me.

I glance over my shoulder and let out an almost silent squeak.  I hadn't realized how close the man actually was to me until I had moved my head, which placed his lips directly in front of my ear. 

"The brat's right though, you can do better than that _Seabiscuit motherfucker._ " He breathes against my soft flesh as he delicately tucks a lock of hair behind my ear and then walks away.

_What the hell was that about?!_

-

The rest of the day comes and goes without further vexations.  I was so wrapped up in typing up a contract proposal that I hadn't realized anyone was even _near_ me until I feel a nibble on my ear.  Instinctively I pull away and slap my open palm across my assailant's face. 

" _Fuck, Hannah_!"  Jean shouts, gaining attention from every single person in my fucking office.

I glare at him as my cheeks are now the colour of a ripened gala apple, "You know what's been going on, Jean! You can't just sneak up on me like that!"

"You didn't react like that when short stack was practically sticking his tongue in your ear earlier,"  Eren smirks and is now the recipient of my darkest and most threatening death glare.

"Don't even _joke_ like that you stupid fuck." 

Jean clears his throat, worry swimming in his eyes as his brows crease. "H-Hannah?"

I breathe out, "Jean, it's-"

"It's nothing. I couldn't help mocking Jaeger, I'm sure you can understand." Levi claps a hand on Jean's shoulder. 

He turns around and studies my superior before sticking out his hand.

Levi completes the greeting, "Levi Ackerman."

"Jean Kirstein.  Thank you for looking out for Hannah yesterday."

The ravenette nods and then returns his attention to me, opening his mouth for a moment to say something but quickly shutting it as he censors himself.  "Goodnight, Watson." 

I smile up at him, "Goodnight, sir."

He holds my gaze for a moment before facing Jean. "Good to meet you without your face attached to the woman's neck this time, Kirstein."

"I much prefer it to be there, but it was good to meet you as well, Levi."

An exasperated sigh brings Jean and I's attention to the other side of my desk.

" _Thank fuck that's over_. I kept waiting for one of you to pull out a white glove and slap the other to initiate a duel."  Eren teases as he picks up his coat. 

Mikasa takes hold of his ear and pulls him away with a simple, "Sorry."

I look back up at Jean, whose eyes are still filled with concern. "Nothing happened?"

With a sigh I stand up and wrap my arms around his neck, he instinctively places his around my waist, letting a hand rest on the small of my back.

I lean into his hand as I gaze up at him with a smile, "You have nothing to worry about.  Actually, Levi's going to teach me some self-defense moves during the next few lunch hours. That way you won't have to worry about me so much.  Isn't that great?"

Jean's eyebrows furrow even more and his tone is defensive as he speaks, "Why do you need to spend so much time with him?"

I take a step back, "Whoa, Jean. I thought you'd be happy. I'm just trying to learn to protect myself..."

Jean studies my face and pinches the bridge of his nose to calm himself down. "We can sign you up for classes somewhere... just not with him."

"Or you could stop being jealous and just let me learn how to beat someone up for free."

"Fine. If that's what you want." Jean exhales in defeat as he turns and walks away, leaving me to trail behind him.

-

The car ride back to her apartment was silent, neither of us wanted to argue, but we both felt justified in our positions.

I know Eren says shit to get me riled up, but I don't really peg him for a liar.  Exaggerating though? Maybe.  I saw the way he fucking looked at her today though, that longing fucking glance after he said goodnight... and why the fuck would he ask her if she was okay? It's not like he's never seen me with her before.

Hannah makes dinner while I sit on the couch and stew in my thoughts.  I'm right, _right_? I mean, having some other guy keep her safe is fucking weird. Hell, I'd even be _less_ pissed off it was Jaeger!

She brings dinner to me on the couch, placing out plates on the coffee table in front of us with a slow exhale.  "Look, Jean. You don't need to freak out.  I can have male friends, just like you can have female friends.  What's so wrong with that?"

"You don't get it, Hannah."

She squeezed her eyes shut for a minute before replying, "Then explain it to me, because clearly, I don't understand."

"I don't want some other guy that close to you. Who knows what could happen? What if he turns out to be like Reiner? What if he... tries to take advantage of you?" I turn towards her with desperate eyes.

"Please Hannah, just... don't misplace your trust.  Keep your wits about you. I love you."

My brunette girlfriend straddles my lap and takes my face in her hands, "Jean, I trust him. I want to learn how to do this so I can lessen the burden on you, so you don't feel like you're the only person responsible for my safety, because I am too. I love you and god damn it, I want to be here for a long time so I can see your sorry ass every day. To be able to do that, I have to do this for myself."

"You still want to make an honest man of me?"

She strokes my cheeks with her thumbs as she smiles sweetly, "Of course I do. One day I'm going to be Mrs. Jean fucking Kirstein and we're going to get old and wrinkly together. "

I couldn't help but grin at her remark, "My middle name isn't ' _fucking_ '. Miss Watson."

"Maybe it should be, it's pretty badass."

 


	37. A Levi Sponsored Flashback

"Jeaaan~!" She giggled in the car as I leaned over and kissed her neck, the smell of her perfume overwhelming my senses. 

I place a kiss just underneath her ear, "Are you trying to say you don't like being kissed here?" I kiss her soft skin again, slightly higher up.

She whines quietly, "You know that's not it."

With a hum, I continue to kiss her neck, "Then what is it, my love?"

"I can't be late for work..." Her head tilts to the side, giving me more access as her body betrays her mind.

As I reach her collarbone, my lips suction onto her supple skin, bringing it into my mouth and nibbling it gently, eliciting a quiet moan from the woman I love.  I lap at the flesh with my tongue, soothing the redness I've created, a clear sign to any man that she's fucking taken.

Placing a light kiss on her lips before unbuckling her seatbelt and my own, we slip out the doors.  I walk her to her office, and when we reach the clear glass doors, I see that piece of shit boss of hers leaning against the receptionist's desk.  He's not facing the door directly, but it's clear he's waiting for someone, and I'm fucking certain it's my god damn girlfriend.

With our clasped hands, I guide her to face me, turning her back towards the door.  My hand frees hers and rests in the small of her back as Hannah's arms raise to lay behind my neck, her slender fingers playing with the hair at its base.

"I like your long hair." She muses with a sweet smile as she runs her fingers through my grown out locks.

I pull her in closer to me, leaving barely any space between us as I whisper in her ear, "I'm glad. I'll keep it this way until you change your mind." 

Hannah hums as I feel her body relax into mine, my lips quickly capture hers in a fervent kiss as I try to pour my love into her through our soft flesh.  She breaks the kiss with a sigh and I hug her, letting my chin rest on her shoulder. 

It's at that moment that Levi's head turns to glance out the door. He lifts a challenging eyebrow at me as I glare at him, holding Hannah tighter as I whisper in her ear, my eyes not leaving his as a show of dominance. "I can't wait to see you later."

Hannah hums in response, tilting her head so my lips touch her ear and I kiss it. She does her patented 'pat out' to signify that she's done with the hug and I give her a squeeze before releasing my grip. She smiles and tucks her hair behind her ears before stretching up and kissing the tip of my nose.

"I love you, Jean. See you after work?"

I rest my forehead against hers, "I love you so fucking much, Banana.  You'll have to show me some of your badass moves tonight, okay?"

She tries to take a fighting stance but her cherry red pencil skirt keeps her legs from stretching out that far, it looks wonky but charmingly so.  She places her hands in front of her face and jabs at the air with a deadpan expression.  I fake getting hit and stumble backward causing her to chuckle. 

"Love you!" She waves as she walks through the doors...

-

That horse-faced motherfucker flaunts his relationship around like a needy and insecure teenager.  Does he really think an insignificant hickey on Hannah's neck would deter me if I were interested? Did he think that he was showing his dominance like some fucking animal?  If he thinks _that_ would change my mind, he's sorely mistaken.

As she walked through the office door, I had thought about when I first met her. In the interview I had with Hannah Watson, against my better judgment as she was suggested by Eren Jaeger, she had intrigued me, to say the least.

\--   
_"My last question, Ms.Watson. Why do you think you should be accepted for this position?"_

_Her ruby red lips pull up at the corner in a subtle yet seductive smirk. Her emerald eyes held a dull fire, a small flame newly created from a spark. "Levi. Can I call you Le-"_

_"No," I state plainly, but that ballsy brat didn't care anyway._

_"Well Levi, judging by the waiting room full of...how do I put this nicely... 'winners', I'm the best interview you've had all day, and that you will have today."_

_Hannah taps a slender finger on her chin a few times as she looks up and to the right in thought before continuing, " Also taking into consideration that your desk is stacked with paperwork and your bored demeanor, I doubt you'll even want or have time to do a second round of interviews."_

_She crosses her slender legs and leans back in the chair, one elbow propped up on the arm of it as she rests her chin in the palm of her hand. "I wouldn't be surprised if I'm your best interview today..." She muses in an uninterested tone._

_"Anyway, if my reasoning is correct, which I'm certain it is, you'll be calling my references after I walk out that door and a contract will be waiting in my inbox by the time I get home."_

_I raise an eyebrow at her, "Are you that conceited that you believe the shit you're spewing?"_

_She lifts her head from her hand and waves away my comment, "I'm not a stupid woman, Levi.  I'm not going to sit here and twirl my hair around my fingers to try and do a shitty job of seducing you to get ahead. I'm sure you've already had three of that type in your office this morning.  I know my worth, which is something your other candidates are lacking."_

_I narrow my eyes at her and she rolls hers, "Soooo are we done then or are you going to keep glaring at me?"_

_"Be here at nine am tomorrow morning."_

_She grins and holds out her hand for me to shake, which I do.  When she loosens her grip I tighten mine. "If you call me anything other than Mr.Ackerman or Sir again, I'll fire you."_

_Hannah lets out a chuckle, "Yes, sir."_

\--

No one had ever been daring enough to speak to me like that in a work setting, let alone in an interview.  She had balls, something the other sacks of shit working here didn't, so I bet on her.

While we didn't interact more than necessary, I couldn't say that I didn't enjoy seeing her around the office.  She was easy on the eyes and her don't-give-a-fuck attitude has always been amusing.  She would call me out on my shit if she thought I made a poor choice on an account, which in turn made her opinion more valuable as she was not the kind of person to blindly follow.

When she was on leave for her accident, the atmosphere was different around here - it was quiet and bland. I came to realize how often I utilized her on projects for her brutal honesty, she wasn't afraid to tell it like it is. She carried herself with the mindset of if you didn't care to consider her opinion, it's your funeral.

Then she came back... a shell of the person I knew her to be.  Sure she smiled and joked with Jaeger, but she was more subdued.  Her self-important and opinionated demeanor seemed to have vanished.

For the first time since she came back to work, I saw the spark of her flame for an instant as she made the cheeky move to dump out that assholes coffee the other day.  It was a spark that made me hopeful for a moment... that is before I saw it fizzle in front of my eyes at the ill-intentioned touch of a pathetic excuse of a man.

For whatever fucked up reason, I found myself thinking about it as I laid in bed that night waiting for the cruel mistress of sleep to take me.  It was much too depressing watching this beautiful woman with a take-no-shit attitude become reduced to an insecure mouse. She was worth saving.

I became determined to rekindle her fire and fan the flames....and I knew just where to start.

 


	38. A Lesson

The morning went by fast and just before lunch I received a text from Jean.   
  
**Jean**   
If you were a triangle, you'd be acute one ;)   
  
**Banana**   
*facepalm*   
  
**Jean**   
Don't be afraid to kick that shrimp's ass today, Banana.   
  
**Banana**   
Oh, I won't hold back! He's should fear my wrath!   
  
**Jean**   
And mine.   
  
\-   
*Ahem*   
  
Levi clears his throat behind me.  "I assume you brought a change of clothes?"   
  
I nod and point to the gym bag under my desk, "Yes, sir."   
  
"Good. Let's go."   
  
\-   
  
After getting changed into my yoga pants and fitted forest green tee, I leave the locker room to meet Levi. He's already in the open space they have covered in mats, surrounded by shelves of medicine balls and free weights. Levi is stretching out his left arm, holding it with the other to deepen the pull.   
  
While I had noticed that he was a fit guy, I hadn't realized _how_ fit.  His knee length grey track shorts bared his muscular calves, while his black t-shirt left nothing to the imagination.  It was so tight that you could see the outline of his pectoral muscles, the indents from his arm and shoulder definition were obvious, and had my mouth almost watering.   
  
What I hadn't noticed was Levi's gaze glued on me as he watched me accidentally check him out. "Stop gawking and stretch, brat."   
  
His voice draws me out of my nearly bloody nosed state and I clear my throat awkwardly, "Y-yeah. Heh, sorry."   
  
After limbering up, Levi rolls out his shoulders and his grey eyes lock onto mine. "Hit me."   
  
"Uhhh, what? Aren't you supposed to be teaching me?" I question.   
  
He rolls his eyes, "I need to know what I'm working with here, Hannah. If your arms are weak, we need to work on that."   
  
Well, he doesn't have to tell me another time.  So I set my legs shoulder width apart and throw a punch to the front of his left shoulder.  He hums in response, "Again."    
  
I repeat the action, but this time he catches my hand before impact.  Levi flips my hand over in his and pries my clasped fingers open, pulling out my thumb from underneath.     
  
"If you hit hard enough like that, you'll break your thumb. It needs to stay outside of your grip like this." Levi closes my hand into a fist once again, but folds my thumb over my fingers rather than underneath.   
  
"This time when you hit me, I want you to think about the position of your hand.  Angle it down slightly so that your first two knuckles make contact first."    
  
My lips purse as I take in the information, looking down at my hand to figure out the best way to do it and feeling like a complete idiot in the process.  I wind up and strike him again, a smirk curls up the corners of his lips.   
  
"Better." Levi takes a few steps closer to me.   
  
"Your stance is off though. This leg..." He taps my ankle with his foot. "Needs to be back and at a 45 degree angle. While this one..." Levi taps the other ankle. "Needs to be angled slightly as well."   
  
I look down at my feet and reposition them. "Like this?"   
  
Levi shakes his head, an amused look playing behind his usually cold gaze, "May I?"   
  
"Sure."   
  
\-   
  
"Like this?" She asks, her back leg at the wrong angle and barely two inches away from her front one.  I couldn't help but shake my head, this is pretty charming.   
  
"May I?"  Her eyes flicker up to study mine at the request to help her before replying, "Sure."   
  
I step even closer to her and before placing my hands on her hips, I pause. "I need to adjust your hips and then your shoulders, okay?"     
  
She shrugs, clearly not seeing the big deal, but I didn't want to be an asshole. I also didn't want her to feel like I was taking advantage of the situation, because that wasn't my intention.   
  
When my hands make contact with her, she swallows hard and looks away. I glance up and notice the pink tinge to her cheeks and inwardly smile at how embarrassed she is. Without drawing it out, I angle her hips before removing my hands and placing them lightly on her shoulders.  Our eyes meet and I can't read hers this time, almost as if she's not fully present.  I pull her shoulders into position and let go.   
  
"Alright. Take note of this position because I'm not going to help you with it again.  Now hit me like you mean it."     
  
She throws her punch again and it actually almost hurt this time.    
  
"Again."   
  
She repeats the action.   
  
"Again."   
  
"For fuck sake Levi, if I'm not doing something right just fucking tell me."  She groans in frustration, getting exactly the response I hoped for.   
  
"Your stance is right, your technique is right, but your heart's not in it.  Think of something that pisses you off and fucking hit me like you want to hurt me, Hannah." My tone is heated as I try to provoke her into giving it her all.   
  
Even if she wasn't consciously holding back, I know she's stronger than what she's shown. The brunette drops her stance and her head is tilted toward the ground, long wavy locks shielding her face from me.   
  
_Fuck. I went too far..._   
  
With a sigh, I take a step towards her, but as I glance down I see her fists clenching.  _She's contemplating it._   
  
"Hannah..." I call out.     
  
Just like that, her head snaps up and she unleashes her frustration with a punch to my jaw. A _real_ punch.   
  
Her eyes widen in shock as she realizes that her punch actually hurt me a bit as I rub my hand over the dull pain radiating ever so slightly from the point of impact.  "Oh god, Levi I'm so sorry I shouldn't have hit you in the face. Oh god, oh g-"   
  
"Hannah, I'm fine. Relax."   
  
She exhales, her brow unfurrowing a little as she calms herself.  "That is the intensity you need to strike someone with though. You've done well today, go eat something. We'll work on escaping holds tomorrow."    
  
"Thanks, Levi."   
  
\-   
  
I was sweatier than I had expected to be, so I tied my hair up into a high bun instead of keeping it down.  When I got back to my desk, Eren raised a questioning eyebrow.  "Where did you go that now you're missing half the make-up you left with and a different hairstyle?"   
  
"Since when are you so perceptive?" I question back.   
  
"Probably started when I suspected something was up with you and Ackerfuck. Your life is turning into a bad soap opera and I just can't help but tune in, Hanny."   
  
"For the record, nothing is going on with Levi. I had gone to the gym, calm your tits Cry Face."   
  
" _Levi_?" He smirks.   
  
I roll my eyes, "Oh shut the fuck up, Eren. No one wants your opinion."   
  
\-   
  
An hour later Levi stops at my desk and leans on the side of it for a moment.  He flips through the papers from the folder in his hand before tossing it on my keyboard and walking away.   
  
"The fuck was that about..." I mumbled to Eren, who just shrugged and went back to his task. I open up the folder and tilt my head with curiosity as I look through the pages.   
  
I knocked on the door of his office and just walked in, not bothering to wait for a response.  He stared blankly at me as he continued on with the phone conversation I'd interrupted before nodding his head to the seats in front of him.  We have a staring contest as he continues, occasional ' _mhmm_ ' and ' _okay_ '  fillers make it sound like he's listening.    
  
When the ravenette finally hangs up the phone he speaks up,"You know, there's no point in knocking if you're just going to enter without waiting for a response anyway."   
  
My shoulders lift up and down slowly in a lazy shrug. "I knocked to announce I was coming in. Not entering the room wasn't really an option."   
  
"What can I do for you then, Ms. Watson?"   
  
I open the folder in my hands and start reading, "Hannah Watson. Strength: C.  Stance: D.  Skill: D."   
  
He just blinks.   
  
"You made a fucking _report_ , Levi?! Jesus Christ. What the fuck even is this?" I feel myself getting more heated as I kept talking. 

Levi leans over his desk and snatches the folder from my hands.  He opens it and points to his fucking long answer section. "Don't be upset you didn't get an A.  Look at the notes. ' _Hannah shows promise for growth_.'"   
  
He points out one section, leaving out the next line which I spat at him sarcastically, "' _If she gets her head out of her ass.'_ Yeah some real touching shit right there, Levi."   
  
"You don't strike me as the kind of student who received glowing recommendations in school, why is this bothering you?" His voice lowers as he crosses his arms and leans back in his chair.   
  
"I was valedictorian and graduated with honors. Guess you didn't bother to even look at my resume before you hired me."   
  
Levi chuckled.  He chuckled. The sound took me by surprise after it hit my ears. "I didn't need to. You sold yourself enough for me to buy into it. "   
  
My eyes rolled so far into the back of my head I thought they might actually get stuck. "That seems like bad business."   
  
The ravenette shrugs, "It's my funeral."   
  
\-   
  
"It's my funeral." I shrug.    
  
Hannah's demeanor instantly changes.  The whisper of a smile was gone from her face, and her eyes fell down to her hands.  She clears her throat, "Right...well I'm going to get back to work then."    
  
My eyebrows knit together, "Hannah, I -"   
  
She waves me off as she stands up and leaves the office I worked so hard to call my own, leaving me sitting in my worn leather chair wondering what the hell I did to elicit that response...   
  
  



	39. Mama Kirstein Does It Again

When I return to my desk, I managed to replace my hard outer shell before anyone else tried to talk to me.  Seeing Jean's name light up my phone, though? It was comforting....and exactly what I needed.

 **Jean**   
Hey, Banana. I'll be there in 20 to pick you up.    
Mom invited us for dinner, feel up to going?

 **Banana**   
Sounds perfect, I could use a mama bear hug.

 **Jean**   
Did something happen?   
Do I need to kick the shit out of that guy?????

 **Banana**   
It's fine, just thinking about Marco.

 **Jean**   
Oh, I understand. I'll be there as soon as I can and shall give you a monster hug!

 **Banana**   
You better

-

My eyes glazed over as I stared blankly at the open email server on my computer screen, waiting for Jean to come to rescue me.  With every blink of my eyes, I saw Marco.  I saw his brown eyes studying mine as he looked over at me in his truck.  I saw him clasp my hand within his.  I _felt_ the ghost of his kiss on my cheek...

I hadn't realized I was crying until Jean had spun my chair around.  His smile dropped instantly and he crouched down to be closer to eye level with me, placing his hands on either side of my face and wiping my cheeks with his thumbs. "Hey, sweetie. Let's get out of here, yeah?"

Without bothering to shut off my computer or put any of my work away, I stand up from my chair and slip on my jacket as Jean holds it up for me. "You know, if you weren't in that sexy skirt, I'd have given you a piggyback ride."  He smiles, elbowing my side a little. "You said you'd give me a monster hug..." I sniffle, wiping some pathetic tears away from my face. 

In an instant, I'm encased in a familiar embrace from the love of my life.  Every time he wraps his athletic arms around me, I feel as if he's gifting me with an intoxicating serenity. When I'm with Jean, I crave intimacy.  Not only physical but the emotional closeness that he and I exclusively share.

Jean kisses the top of my head, "Want me to carry you to the car? Cause I will." I smile sadly, "No, I'd be too embarrassed in front of my co-workers." Jean glances around to asses the office before an evil smirk crawls onto his lips.  "You want me too, but you just don't want anyone to see?"

"I guess so...why?" My eyes narrow slightly...what is he planning? In one swift motion, he scoops me up and bolts out of the office, probably drawing more attention to us than if he had just walked.  I playfully hit my fist on his chest as I laugh. "Jeaaaan. That wasn't exactly _subtle_."

The brunette chuckles, "Perhaps not. It did make you laugh though, which was my true motive!" My eyes roll, "Alright, you've earned a pass just this _once_." Jean leans down and kisses my forehead. "That's fair.  Dad said that Mom's making her famous spaghetti bolognese today, so let's motor. That shit is _good_."

"I have yet to have eaten a meal your mother has cooked that wasn't delicious.  Also, I'm starving." 

-

We walk into the Kirstein's house hand in hand, catching the eye of Marie who was setting the table. " _Please_ tell me you two are finally an item." My free hand snakes up to rub the back of my neck as I sport a sheepish smile.  I look up at Jean who's grinning like an idiot at his mother, so proud of himself.  I couldn't help but laugh when she came barrelling towards us, wrapping us both in a tight hug.

Jean squirms out, "Ma, I gotta grab some more clothes while I'm here." She shoos him away and envelops me completely.  "I'm so happy for you guys." She murmurs, kissing my cheek before letting me go. Her hands land on the tops of my shoulders, "Now, I need to know what kind of rings you like.  If that boy is going to ask anyone for help, it's going to be me."

My eyes widen, "Marie, don't say things like that! It's not like he's ever been in an actual relationship before, rushing things would only scare him. He's been there for me through everything, my future's with Jean, I don't need to be engaged to know that."

"Oh please, we both know he heard that you _wanna make an honest man of him._ If the commitment was going to scare him, it would've been then." She rolls her eyes teasingly.

"That doesn't mean anything should be rushed, let him take the time he needs to see if that's how he feels too." I sigh, not because I'm sad at the thought of him probably not being ready for marriage since that's a jump from where we are right now, but contently because I don't doubt that we will get there.

Maybe we should take a smaller jump...a leap? Well, more like a baby step... Jean practically lives at my apartment as it is. The thought of waking up the scruffy brunette every morning and falling asleep next to him every night just feels right.  Maybe we don't need to follow the status quo. Maybe we should just move at our own speed, march to our own drum.

"Hannah, the way you two are together, it's magic. It's already an unbreakable bond that neither of you have said aloud, because you didn't need to. He looks at you the way his father looks at me sweetie, so let me prepare!" My head shakes, god she's bold. "We can talk about rings when we have another girls day, okay?" She grins, "Deal!"

Marie heads back to the kitchen and I follow, taking a seat at the table across from Mr.Kirstein and asking him about his day. Jean comes down the stairs with another bag full of stuff, placing it on the floor beside the table when he takes a seat next to me. Without remembering to sensor myself, I say what I was thinking. "You should just move in."  I clear my throat, "You know... officially."

Marie drops the serving spoon she was dishing up plates with and looks over. Jean's expression stays neutral, "Are you sure? It's not a big deal for me to just grab stuff from here when I need it..." My gaze catches his questioning one and I grin, "Of course I'm sure, dummy. It's only home when you're there." He's silent for a moment and my voice comes out more quietly now, "It's okay if you don't want to, though.  I probably shouldn't have said it like this..."

-

Sound travels in this house, especially from the entry way since it's right by the stairs. Mom knows that... I'm sure she intended for me to hear their conversation. It's not like we haven't mentioned it before, but it's always been in passing and something we've joked about. 

To hear her have a serious conversation about knowing we have a future has my heart beating out of my fucking chest.  It was weeks ago when I told her that I wanted to change her last name...though it was a cheesy line, I meant it. I would marry her in a heartbeat, without a second thought.

Even when Mom was hounding her about it, she was considerate about not wanting to rush me into it...that she doesn't need a ring to see a future with me...she's just perfect. After grinning like an idiot at the top of the stairs for five minutes, I head to the table and plop my bag down next to my seat beside Hannah. 

"You should move in." She states before clearing her throat, "You know... officially." _Is this really happening? Fuck, I've been waiting for months..._ I have to keep my cool.  What if she didn't think it through? What if she thinks it'll just be more convenient for me?

My mom drops a serving spoon with a clatter, accentuating the silence now in the room. I keep my tone smooth and even as I ask, "Are you sure? It's not a big deal for me to just grab stuff from here when I need it..." Her eyes lock onto mine catches as she smiles widely, "Of course I'm sure, dummy. It's only home when you're there."

_I love her. I love her. I love her. Holy fuck. That she trusts me this much after everything she's been through..._ _**me** _ _...what an incredible feeling... There's nothing I wouldn't do for this woman. She's everyth-_

"It's okay if you don't want to, though.  I probably shouldn't have said it like this..." Her quiet voice pulls me out of my thoughts. " _Took you long enough to ask_." I tease, grinning from ear to ear. She exhales loudly and swats my arm, "You didn't have to make me sweat, Jean!"

Mom chuckles and sets the plates down in front of everyone. She grabs a bottle of wine and four glasses from the cupboard and pours some for all of us, something she only does on holidays or birthdays. She smiles, leaning down to kiss my girlfriend's cheek before she takes her seat and places her hand on top of mine. "What a special night it's become."

Glancing over at Hannah, I notice her eyes are a bit glassy, her bottom lip quivering slightly. "You okay? If you changed your mind I won't be mad."

She rests her forehead against my shoulder, "That's not it, I'm sorry I'm being emotional...I just..." Her tears spill past their barrier as she closes her eyes for a moment. My gaze flickers up to my moms for a second and she looks concerned as well. 

Hannah's eyes slowly open and she lets out a breathy laugh as she smiles, "It's just been a long time since I've felt like part of a family."   
  


 


	40. Move In and Make Up

After my embarrassing moment at dinner, Jean, who let his crying mother drink his share of the wine she'd poured, drove us home. Jean propped his legs up on the coffee table and I laid in his lap, staring up at him with a silly grin. "What's going on in that noggin of yours, Hannah Banana?" Jean asks as he taps my temple with his finger.   
  
"I'm just really happy you want to move in." Jean runs his fingers through my hair, spreading it out over his legs as he goes.  He sighs lightly, "I'm really happy you want me to move it...I told my dad ages ago that I wanted to, that if you'd asked me I wouldn't hesitate." _Ages_ ago _?_   
  
"Let's get the rest of your things after work tomorrow. I don't want to be apart from you any longer than necessary." A smile spreads across his lips, "You're really sure? Even when we argue? Even when I eventually mess something up? Ev-"   
  
"Yes. Even then, Jean. I'm going to do everything in my damn power to keep you happy and here with me. I believe in us." Jean lifts me up to sit sideways in his lap and lays his forehead against mine.  "I love you, Hannah. You know I'm going to marry you someday, right?" I feel my cheeks blush as I let out a breathy laugh to try and lighten the conversation, "I request a mariachi band."   
  
Jean bursts out laughing, "You're just fucking perfect for me, Banana."   
  
\-   
  
The next morning at work went by quickly. Horse face didn't make a huge scene this time at the doors like a pathetic child, so at least I didn't have to see them sucking face. Any public display of affection just annoys me, it's so unnecessary. When Hannah walks through the doors she nods her head in acknowledgement but doesn't bother saying anything. Although she was never one to smile without reason, this still irked me. It's probably because it's my own fault that she didn't want to talk.   
  
I head back to my office, sitting in the leather chair at my desk, and tapping a pen against the wooden surface.  How do I address this without seeming desperate for her approval...   
  
  
_Ms. Watson,_  
 _You are required to report to my office upon receiving this email._  
 _L.Ackerman_  
  
  
Ugh, no. Too strict.   
  
  
_Watson,_  
 _My office. Now._  
 _L_   
  
Too informal.   
  
  
_Hannah,_  
 _Forgive me for upsetting you yesterday. It was not my intention._  
 _Levi_   
  
Too fucking personal and needy. For fuck sake.

After wasting an hour staring at a draft of an email, I've decided to just go and get it over with.  As I walk over, I notice her chocolate brown hair is pulled up into a perky ponytail today and it sways over her shoulder as she tilts her head to the side. "Hannah." I catch her attention and she turns around in her chair, "Hey Mr.Ackerman. What do you need?"   
  
Her tone is emotionless, not cold, not happy, not sarcastic; just plain.  "I wanted to confirm that you had no reservations about yesterday's..." I pause for a moment, searching for the right word, catching Jaeger's attention as well. "Report." She raises a brow as she narrows her eyes slightly, "I don't think it was necessary, but I don't disagree with what was outlined." I nod, "Good."   
  
\-   
  
"Okay, seriously Hannah.  What the hell is going on?"  Eren questions with annoyance. "If I tell you will you stop being a dick to Jean?"   
  
"Probably not." He shrugs. "Fine, then I guess you don't want to know.  Oh well."   
  
"Haaaaannnnnyyyyyy!" He whines like a child being refused candy. "If you can't learn to be civil with my boyfriend, who's moving in with me by the way, then you don't deserve to know what's going on with Napoleon," I state matter of factly. Eren's eye bulge, "No! Hanny don't do it! Aren't you getting close with Ackerfuck? He practically licked your ear the other day. Even _he's_ better for you than Jean."   
  
My eyes narrow into slits as I glare at my idiotic friend, "First of all, I never asked for your opinion on _my_ relationship. Second of all, you were the one who kept setting me up with people because you didn't like that I was alone.  Now that I'm with someone, you suddenly don't want that?"   
  
"I never set you up with Jean, Hannah! He's such an asshole! God, Marco was perfect for you and I don-" I pushed my chair back to stand up as soon as he insulted Jean. When Marco was mentioned though... all I could see was red.  "Fuck you, Jaeger. Some fucking friend you are."   
  
When I reach the outside of the building, I lean against the smooth concrete surface and pinch the bridge of my nose.  I focus on my breathing in an effort to calm myself down from both my shaking rage and trembling sadness. I'm not sure how long I'd been down here before I hear Eren's quiet voice from beside me. "I'm sorry, Hanny."   
  
I turn my head slightly just to glare at him. "What's the point of apologizing if you don't bother to learn from it." Eren sighs, "You never talk to us anymore, Hannah.  It's like he just stole you away..."   
  
I slide down against the wall to sit on the sidewalk, Eren follows suit. "Eren, I couldn't do anything by myself. Only Jean and his mom were there for me...to take care of me. They barely even _knew_ me and we're willing to drop everything to help." Taking a deep breath, I continue. "Someone who didn't even like me as a person took weeks off of work to live with me and do all of the shit I couldn't.  My best friends only visited me twice..."   
  
"Hannah, you wouldn't have let us help." Eren runs a hand through his brown hair in frustration. "I wouldn't have had a choice this time. You didn't even try...you know you were the closest thing I have to family, right?" Eren's brows furrow, " _Were_? Hannah don't cut me out, don't be like that, please."   
  
My eyes focus on the skin around my fingernails as I continue. "I'm not cutting you out. I'm trying to put things in perspective for you.  Jean didn't hesitate. He wouldn't take no for an answer because he knew I needed him...and after Marco, he needed me too."   
  
"I-I'm sorry I brought up Marco."   
  
"You know, that night...I thought it was fate that brought Marco and I together. It took me a while to realize that while I was destined to meet him, I wasn't destined to be _with_ him."   
  
I glance over at Eren with a sad smile, "I wouldn't have been able to love Marco in the same way I do Jean.  I don't think I could love anyone more...it's as instinctive as breathing."   
  
"You love him more than...Reiner?" He asks awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. My head leans to rest on Eren's shoulder, " _Way_ more. More than I ever thought possible. I know you don't want to hear this but..." I let go of a breath, "He's the best man I know. I know he'd never do anything to hurt me."   
  
A slight smile crosses his lips, "I'm glad you're happy, Hannah." I lift my head and nudge his side, "Good. Now let's go back to work before Levi has a conniption." Eren holds my shoulder down when I try to get up, "And what the hell is going on there?"   
  
"After he saw what it was like for me at job sites...and with Reiner, he voluntold me he'd be teaching me self-defense over lunch breaks." He laughed, "Alright, so THAT'S why you came back all sweaty and disheveled." My eyes roll, "Of course it is, idiot.  I'm in love with Jean, I wouldn't jeopardize that."   
  
\-   
  
"Okay, I'm going to put you in a loose chokehold. You're going to try and get out."   
  
After shaking out my shoulders for a moment, I give him the go-ahead.  Levi wraps his arm around my neck gently and the other around the back of my head, leaving his chest pressed firmly against my back to keep me in place. Immediately I start pulling at his arm but he tuts.  "Focus on what's not gripping you."   
  
I elbow his side but he firms up his grip and taunts, "You're going to have to hit me harder than that, weakling."   
  
"I'm not weak, damn it."   
  
"Prove it, then. We went over this yesterday, just hit me like you fucking mean it.  Why do I have to keep insulting you to get you to hit me?" I stomp my foot on top of his and ram my elbow into his ribs.  He grunts as his grip became loose. After a second he firmed his arms once again, "Good. _Again_." 

 


	41. Go Home, Jean

Jean was running a little late at work, so Eren and Mikasa waited outside with me. "We should grab some drinks tomorrow after work, I have a friend I think you'd like." Eren comments, instantly pissing me off. I couldn't hold back before berating him. "Eren, did we not have a conversation about how much I love my boyfriend this morning?! What th-"   
  
"It's a girl, Hannah.  Calm your tits."   
  
"Oh." I squeak out. "Well that sounds nice actually... how do you know her?" I look over to Mikasa, thinking it's her friend. "Eren is friends with her boyfriend, Connie. They'll both come out tomorrow.  Jean can come too." My elbow nudges her side as I tease her, "Are we gonna get to see _Four-drink Mikki_ tomorrow?"   
  
Mikasa's cheeks dust with a pink blush and she looks away, "It's not like you can hold alcohol any better, Hannah." I make a finger gun and point it at her, pulling the imaginary trigger, "Touché."   
  
"It's _much_ more fun when it's you though." Eren grins and kisses her rose tinged porcelain cheek. Jean's car pulls up and he exits it to meet us.  "Hey." Eren acknowledges simply and with no ill intent, much unlike before.   
  
Jean greets him as well and wraps an arm around my shoulders, squeezing me closer to him and kissing the top of my head. "Ready to go?" I smile up at him, "Yep! Let's go get your stuff." I thank my friends for waiting with me and get into Jean's car.  He leans in and kisses my cheek before pulling out onto the road. "So how did your day go, Banana?"   
  
"It was okay I guess.  Started off rocky because Eren and I got into a fight, but we talked it out. I learned how to get out of a chokehold today and got to hit Levi real hard so that was cool.  How about you?"   
  
Jean sighs, "I can't stand Erwin, he was making plans with Christa over the phone at his desk. So irritating." I couldn't help but worry that he was irritated because he had feelings for her... my mind started racing along with my heart, that sinking feeling building within my chest.  "Y-you don't still umm..."   
  
Jean reaches a hand to my knee and squeezes, not taking his eyes off the road.  "You know I don't, Hannah. You are everything to me, how can I prove that to you?"  His voice is soft and caring, not at all annoyed or angry with my insecurity. "I trust you, Jean.  Hell, I'd jump off a bridge if you said it was safe. I just understand that feelings can linger...and I guess I'd want to know."   
  
Jean shoulder checks before pulling over into the curb lane and putting the car in park. He turns in his seat to face me and cups my cheek with his hand, "How could I have feelings for anyone else, when every ounce of love I have is already spoken for, hmm?"   
  
"I wouldn't hold it against you if you did...as long as you didn't act on it...as long as you love me more."   
  
"Hannah Watson." He says firmly, his brown eyes swirling with intensity. "You are, and forever will be, the only woman for me.  The only person I need, crave and love. " I release a breath, "I love you too Jean, but if-"   
  
His thumb caresses my skin as he leans closer, his voice softens even further as he speaks. "No 'ifs'. You're more than I could've ever _dreamed_ of. I feel like a part of me is missing when you're not around, it's like I'm missing a limb and I'm unable to function properly.  I look forward to seeing you every second we're apart and I work harder at my job because I want to make you proud...I want to do better so we can have a good future, _together_."   
  
As he spoke the last word, I crashed my lips onto his.  No matter how self-conscious or worried I am, no matter how weak I feel, Jean never hesitates to soothe my anxiety. He doesn't judge me, he doesn't scold me, he just reminds me how much he loves me and it always helps.   
  
"Sorry, guess I'm just being dumb." I breathe as our lips part. He kisses the top of my nose, "We all are sometimes, Banana.  Now let's go get my shit and then go _home_." I can't help but smile, "Let's."   
  
\-   
  
"Marie, it's okay! We'll be by all the time! Maybe we could even do a weekly dinner?" My hand rubs circles on her back as I try to console her. "I-I know, it's just... Jeany's my baby boy!" She sobs into my shoulder.    
  
"Ma, come on. You've been telling me I should marry Hannah practically since we met. How are you not okay with us moving in together?" She squeezes me tighter, "I am! I am!"   
  
"Then why are you crying about losing your 'baby boy'?" Jean groans, rubbing his forehead in frustration. Marie sniffles and takes a few deep breaths as I comb my fingers through her hair to help her settle down. She releases me and kisses my cheek before standing in front of her son with a shaky smile.   
  
"I've always wished you'd find love, Jean. I...I feel so lucky to have watched your love grow. I'm so proud of you, Jeany." Jean wraps his mom up in a tight hug, whispering something in her ear that puts a huge grin on her face. Feeling a bit left out, I walk over and clear my throat.  Marie giggles and Jean unwraps an arm for me to get in on it.    
  
***CLICK***   
  
I tilt my head to the side and catch Mr.Kirstein taking a picture, a bright smile on his face that warmed my heart.  I smile and open up an arm for him, as Jean had for me.  We stayed like that for a solid few minutes until Marie stopped crying.    
  
"Okay, okay. _Go home, Jean_."   
  
\-   
  
I dropped my bags on the floor as soon as we walk through the door. Hannah chuckles with a shake of her head, "So now you're just going to leave all your shit everywhere, huh?" My shoulders lift up in a lazy shrug, "Home, Sweet Home."   
  
She swats my shoulder and picks up my bags, bringing them to the bedroom. I follow behind her and plop down on the bed with a dramatic sigh when we reach it. I can't believe this is actually happening... I'm so fucking happy.  Only a few more steps before I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. I can't wait to make her mine officially, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life making her happy.   
  
Hannah starts moving things around in her closet and folding her clothes more neatly in her dresser drawers to create more space. After doing so, she takes a bag of mine and starts rifling through it, putting away clothes as she goes, humming gleefully. When she opens up the next bag, she giggles.  I quirk an eyebrow in a questioning manner and she holds up the pair of white boxers with hearts on them that she had previously seen me wear.   
  
"Hannah, don't touch my delicates!" I joke, jumping off the bed and snatching them out of her hands. The brunette pouts and leans in for a kiss.  At the last second, she grabs them from me and runs away, cackling.  "You'll never catch me!"   
  
" _It's on, Watson_!"   
  
After a ten minute standoff of us on either side of the couch, one periodically taking a leap at the other and consequently switching sides, Hannah tosses them at my chest and runs over to kiss my cheek. I wrap my arms around her waist and lift her up slightly as I hug her. "I love you so fucking much, Jay." She sighs happily. I kiss the top of her head before resting my chin on it, cradling her head with my hand.  "I love you too, Banana."

 


	42. Four Drink Mikki

**Banana**   
Don't forget we're meeting up with Eren and Mikasa for drinks after work.  The usual place. Meet you there.

 **Jean**   
Haaaaannnnnnaaaaah. 

 **Jean**   
Can't we just go home and have a repeat of last night? ; )

 **Banana**   
If you play your cards right, maybe when we get back.

 **Jean**   
Ugh, fine.  But you're doing that thing that I like.

 **Banana**   
Don't act like I wasn't going to do it anyway lol

-

The day passed by quickly, my training session with Levi was strength and endurance, nothing notable. By the time we arrive at the usual place, the pub around the corner with the large wooden wrap-around bar and cheesy tin beer signs on the wall, Eren's friends were already there.

A brunette with a long ponytail waves ecstatically at Eren as she shoves a handful of pretzels in her mouth...I can already tell he's right; we will probably get along.  They both have goofy demeanors, Sasha quirky with what seems like an obsession with food, Connie sporting a huge smile and cracking jokes already, making everyone feel more at ease.  After I'm introduced to the couple, I immediately order Mikasa two shots, getting my usual Old Fashioned.

The glare the raven-haired beauty shoots me as the drinks are placed in front of her would've been shudder-inducing in anyone else. I, however, couldn't help but cackle.  "Come on, Mikasa. You know Four-drink Mikki is my best friend! Bottoms up!"

Mikasa glances over at the bartender, "She'll have another. A double."  

I raise an eyebrow and she smirks, "If you want to see me drunk so bad, you're going to match my drinks one for one, Hannah."

"You're on."

Arms wrap around my waist and I stiffen up until I hear Jean's smooth voice, "Just me, Banana."  He kisses the top of my head before taking the seat on my other side.  "Two drinks already, eh? Guess I'm the DD tonight." A grimace spreads across my face, "Sorry...do you mind? It's been forever since I've seen Mikasa let loose and she's making me drink with her."

Jean shrugs, "No big deal.  I've never seen you tipsy, so this will be interesting."

Mikasa laughs, "She gets real handsy, I'm sure you'll have fun." My boyfriend's eyebrow raises at me and I wink, "I told you earlier. Don't overthink it, sexy."

"Jeez, Banana.  You've barely finished your first drink and you're already this flirty?" I pat his cheek a few times, "Don't worry your pretty little head about it, _Jeany_." 

-

Skip two hours later to when Hannah, Mikasa, and Sasha are dancing in the middle of the pub, making their own dance floor.  Eren, myself, and my new acquaintance Connie sit backward on our stool, facing our girlfriends.  Connie bursts out laughing as Sasha pulls out her famous dance move...the worm.  He wolf whistles at her and she playfully casts an imaginary fishing rod towards him.   He turns to us, rubbing his shaved head awkwardly, "Well, that's my cue, boys."

Connie jumps and wiggles like a fish on a line towards his cackling girlfriend while Mikasa and Hannah are busy twirling each other around with some early 00's style dance moves a la Mary-Kate and Ashley.  The huge smile on my girlfriends face warms my heart, I can't take my eyes off of her.   Her hair sways with the upbeat music the bartender was nice enough to humor them with, occasionally falling in front of her eyes, causing her to run her fingers through it and push the locks backward.  She was a sight to behold and glancing around the room at the men who were absent-mindedly staring, I wasn't the only one who thought so.  The familiar burn of jealousy started creeping into my chest but was caught by Jaeger.

"You really love her, don't you." He sighs as he takes another sip of his beer. A small smile crosses my lips as I watch her throw her head back as she laughs at her friends.  "I'm going to ask her to marry me." Jaeger chokes on his drink, "W-what?! You guys just started dating!"

"We're meant to be together. Kismet or whatever... I'd spend my life alone if she ever left me, I could never love anyone as I love her." I don't bother waiting for Eren's response before I leave to join her, her magnetic air pulling me in.

"Jean!" Hannah shouts, wrapping her arms around my shoulders to clobber me in a hug. 

My hands find her hips and lightly hold on to them as they sway to the music, her eyes closed and a content smile graces her lips.  _God, I love her_.  She stops swaying and looks up into my eyes, hers slightly hooded and incredibly alluring as the lust in them isn't even masked.  Hannah stands up on her tiptoes and presses her lips against mine, at first gently, then more passionately.  Her teeth capture my bottom lip, nibbling the skin momentarily before sliding her tongue across it and releases. 

***CLICK***

We both part at the sound of a camera's shutter and look towards where it came from, only to see a smirking Mikasa with her phone out, "Well, someone needs evidence to show your future children how gross you are."

"Miiiikkkkiiiiii~!" Hannah whines with a chuckle, flicking her friend's forehead. 

I clasp her hand and pull her back against me with a smirk of my own, "You're not getting away that easy, Watson." My lips crash back onto hers and she squeaks in surprise before relaxing into it.  Eren taps my shoulder and I turn my head slightly, "Fuck off, Jaeger." I mumble. "Just go home, guys." He says with a shake of his head.

-

As soon as we got in the door, Hannah drops her purse on the floor and pulls me towards her by the collar of my shirt.  The scent of her fruity yet alcohol-laced breath invades my space as she looks up at me through those incredibly long lashes of hers.  "Jean..." She says with a sweet tone.

I hum and smile down at her, "Yes, love?" She slowly walks her fingers up my arm and to my neck, where she cups my cheek and guides my head down towards her.  She tilts my face so her lips are right beside my left ear, so close that I can feel the heat of her breath against it.  "Will you make me a grilled cheese?"

Try as I might, I could _not_ stifle my laughter.  She pulls back and shoots me a cheeky grin.  "Anything for you, Banana."

Hannah takes a seat at the kitchen table, sitting sideways so she can face me and make idle chit chat while I make us some sandwiches.  She pulls a few strands of hair in front of her nose and twirls them as she goes crossed eyed to watch them unravel. "Did you think it was gross when I had that bald spot?" She asks out of the blue.

"Of course not, don't be dumb." Does she really think that I would be that shallow? Well... I guess I was shallow. Even scarred and bruised, she was still beautiful. The brunette hums in response, continuing to play with her long locks as she quietly responds a moment later. "I'm lucky you were there for me...you always are."

I place a plate with a deliciously gooey grilled cheese in front of her and give her cheek a kiss. "And I always will be, Banana."

A goofy smile spreads across her face, "This grilled cheese looks... PERFECT!"   
  


 


	43. Bury The Hatchet

I faked a doctor's appointment at work to head over to my parents' place, I needed advice and well, Mom was the only person I trusted with this. As I walked in the door my mom calls out to me, "Just pulling some cookies out of the oven, Jeany! Come sit."

_Cookies? Hell yeah!_

The fridge door sticks a little as I pull it open to grab the milk, pouring my mom and I each a glass before setting them down at the table. She places a plate of heavenly chocolate chip cookies between us and rests her cheek in her hand. "So when are you going to do it?" 

"I'm thinking about her birthday? It's next week and I know she usually hates that day...I want to make it a happy day for her." I look to my mother nervously, awaiting her response. "That sounds lovely Jean. Are you going to do something intimate? Just the two of you?"

"Actually, I think I'd like to have people there. Like a birthday party... I was thinking the bowling alley we went to on our unofficial first date. She had a blast...do you think that's lame? Oh god, it is. Nevermin-"

A warm cookie is shoved in my mouth and my mom laughs, "You know her best, Jean. If you both have fond memories there and it's meaningful, it's a great choice." 

"Wahwh-"

"For god sake, Jean. You're a grown man, don't talk with your mouth full." She scolds. After polishing off my treat and gulping down some milk with a dramatic _ahh_ , I continue. "Have you found out what kind of rings she likes?" Her greying hair bobs as she shakes her head no. "I _need_ to know, mom! You're supposed to be my wingman!" 

"Oh calm down, Jeany. She's coming over to bake with me tomorrow, we can go shopping for it the next day. Do you know her ring size?" My eyes widen, "What?! No! How do I find that out? What if sh-"

Mom cuts me off once again by shoving another cookie in my mouth. I have to admit, I'm not opposed to being shut up like this...these cookies are amazing. "You _live_ with her. Just find her jewelry box and sneak a ring to bring with you that day."

"What if Hannah doesn't have any?" 

"That's highly unlikely, Jeany. If she doesn't, you can get the ring resized." My head bobbles as I nod along anxiously, my mind moving a mile a minute. What if she doesn't want to be proposed to in front of everyone? What if she doesn't like the ring? What if she doesn't actually want to marry me.  Fuck. That last thought stopped me in my tracks. "You don't think she's having second thoughts, do you?"  
  


The woman cuffs the back of my head, "That's probably the stupidest thing you've ever said, and you've said _a lot_ of stupid things."

"Rude."

"She told me she doesn't need to be engaged to know her future's with you." She states with a small smile. "Really?"

"Don't pretend you weren't listening from the top of the stairs." Mom's smile turns into a knowing smirk and I roll my eyes.  With a sigh, she rests her hand on top of mine, her kind brown eyes peering into my own. "She's perfect for you, honey. If you need any more help, don't hesitate. There's nothing I wouldn't do for the two of you."  
  


-  
  


**Jean**

Hey, I need your help.   
  


**Cryface**

What is it this time?  
  


 **Jean**

Let's meet up. 

Beer?   
  


**Cryface**

I'm off in 20. See you at the usual.   
  


-(Eren pov)-  
  


I walk into the bar and see the back Jean's head. Taking the seat next to him, I catch the attention of the bartender and get a Corona before speaking. "So what's happening? Is Hannah okay?"

"Yeah, she's good." He takes a sip of his beer before continuing, "Remember what I said last night?" I frown, they literally just became official. This can't be a good idea. Hannah is usually level headed in situations like this. "Your insane idea about proposing? Yes."

"Just because it doesn't follow the expected pace of a relationship doesn't mean it's insane." He comments, not even angry....that's new. "Okay...so what about it?" Horse face scratches the back of his neck before taking another swig of his drink. "I'm going to do it next week, at the birthday party I'm going to throw for her. I know you mean a lot to her, you're her family." 

He takes a deep breath before continuing, "I want to put whatever issue we have behind us. I don't want Hannah to have to worry about us arguing all the time...and I want, you know... your blessing or whatever." _Wow_. This wasn't what I was expecting...I have to hand it to him though, this is what she would want. Takes balls for him to do this when he knows I hate him.

"I'm not her dad, Kirstein." Jean just shrugs lazily, "Close enough. You're family to her, I want your approval." 

I've hated Jean since the day I met him. He's arrogant and cocky, outspoken and rude, so naturally, we've always butt heads. I hated him a little less when he was staying at the hospital for Hannah, even though he was a dick about us being at work, but that was because he didn't want her to be alone. My hate for Jean continued to lessen with each interaction we had that showed, in his own fucked up way, how much he cared for Hannah. I couldn't fault him for that. 

That being said, he still annoys me. I wish she'd have found someone else...but I have to respect her decision to be with this asshat. I hold out my hand to him and he shakes it. "I still think you're an asshole, but I know you love her. Don't fuck it up, Jean."  He smiles tipping his bottle towards mine, "Thanks, man."

-  
  


When I get home, I find Hannah curled up on the couch with a blanket and a book. She smiles when she sees me and holds out her arms for a hug. My arms wrap around her shoulders and I kiss her cheek, "Hey, Beautiful." Her cheeks turn the cutest tinge of pink...wait, I must not tell her enough... "What's wrong?" She worried. _She's getting better at reading me._

"I was just making a mental note to remind you how gorgeous you are more often, that's all."

"Don't be dumb," Hannah grumbles after rolling her eyes. "Shut it, Watson. You're a fuckin' knockout, just accept it already." Hannah quickly changes the subject, obviously uncomfortable with the flattery. "There's dinner for you in the fridge. What was so important that it couldn't wait?" I squeeze her hand before walking to the fridge to get the container of spaghetti she left for me and sit down on the couch. "I needed to talk to Eren, no big deal."

Hannah's eyes widen and she starts questioning me as she freaks out, "No big deal?! Did you two duke it out? Did Eren get hurt? Oh, Jesus, there's no way that went well...also, are you eating that _cold_?"

"We didn't fight, Hannah. We didn't even argue for once. And yes, I am." I shovel a forkful of noodles into my mouth. Hannah lifts her hand to my forehead, checking my temperature. "You feelin' okay, Jean? That doesn't sound like either of you."

"We buried the hatchet." My words come out muffled by the food in my mouth. The smile that spread across Hannah's face made my chest tighten with guilt for not having done it sooner, but I'm glad I did it. I don't like that little shit, but maybe with time, I can hate him less. 

She leans forward and hugs me, squeezing my side tightly. Ruining the moment with my hunger, I take another bite of spaghetti. Hannah kisses my cheek and then places another kiss on the corner of my lips. "Hannah, I've got a mouthful of s'ketti. You don't want to kiss me like this." I mumble while chewing.

"I will never not want to kiss you." Hannah grins as she recited the words I had once told her before she plants her lips on mine. I couldn't hold back my laughter, "You're so gross." 

"You did it first at the diner, so now we're even." 

"No way, Watson!" Scooping up more spaghetti and stuffing it into my mouth, I move to kiss her. She squeals and jumps off the couch but I quickly pin her against the fridge in the kitchen. Hannah's nose crinkles up in the cutest way as she winces, waiting for the messy kiss. Instead, I kiss the tip of her nose before swallowing. 

She breathes a _heavy_ sigh of relief, "Holy fuck. Pretty sure I saw my life flash before my eyes there."

"Was I somewhere in there?"

"It was all you, Jean."   
  


 


	44. One For The Books

_**(a/n: Hold onto your hats, ladies and gentlemen. This is your one and only warning for a hugely clichéd ending.)** _

-

"Jean calm down, it looks perfect in here." My mom's attempt at soothing me did not do the trick.  Today's the god damn day...it needs to be perfect. I ran around all week preparing, talking with my parents, with her friends...even her jackass boss.

"Honey, look around.  Everyone Hannah cares about is here, you've even got a damn three-piece band hiding in the men's room...I don't understand _why_ three musicians were okay with that though."

With a sigh I walked over to Eren and Mikasa, "You're the only one who's going to tell me the tru-"

Eren rolls his eyes as he cuts me off, "Everything is fine, idiot. You're going to be late picking her up, go."

-

Impatiently, I tap my shoe on the floor as I lean against the doorway waiting for Hannah to finish getting ready.   My heart has been racing all day and I feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm so excited yet nervous, I can't help but worry.  I know she loves me, and we've talked about getting married, but what if she thinks it's too soon? Well, fuck. I guess I'll find out tonight.

The object of my affections walks out in a little black chiffon dress...is that chiffon? I don't fucking know, but she looks _perfect_. Her hair is half pulled up and clipped in the back with a red bow that matches the color of her lipstick.  She does a little twirl and I smile from eye to eye, "Are you a cake?"

She scrunches her lips to the side, knowing exactly what I'm doing. "Cause I want a piece of that." I finish with a wink.  Hannah laughs and shakes her head, "You're such a dork." I nod my head out the door, "Let's go, there's a party waiting for you, Birthday Girl."

-

I could tell Jean was nervous on the drive over, his grip kept tightening on the steering wheel. My hand rubs his knee in an effort to soothe his worries, "Hun, it's just bowling.  We're going to have lots of fun, don't worry so much."

Jean takes a deep breath and continues to focus on the road rather than respond.  I couldn't help but frown. The last thing I want is for him to be troubled about something like this, I wouldn't have agreed to it if I thought he would get so anxious.  I just want him to be happy and have fun with me tonight. 

When Jean parks the car he tells me to wait before jogging around to my side and opening my door and offering me an arm. "Why thank you, Mr.Kirstein."

"You're quite welcome, Ms.Watson." He plays along, kissing my hand as we walk in. 

I didn't realize how much effort Jean had put into tonight until I walked through those two doors.  He had hung string lights across the entire venue, creating a slightly dim kind of light as the fluorescents didn't need to be on, it really made the atmosphere more comfortable. The score tables had small vases of red tulips, which because of him, are now my favorite flowers.  He had some great 60's music playing, and everyone was already bowling. 

"Jean, this is so amazing." He exhales loudly, "You _really_ think so?" I stand on my tiptoes and place my lips on his, "Of course I do, Jay.  You gonna show me how to bowl again?" My wink had him laugh quietly, loosening him up a little bit. "My parents are here, so probably not."

I nudge his side, "Since when are you shy?"

At this point, Marie has now spotted us and she pushes her bowling ball into her husband's hands as she hurries over.  "Hannah! You look stunning!" I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks already and look away. "Thanks, Marie." She reaches out and pinches my cheek before grabbing my hand and pulling me away from Jean, "So modest. Now come! Your friends are waiting!"

I can already see Eren holding back his laughter after seeing me with Jean's mom, Mikasa as usual, keeping him in check.  Levi leans on the score table for their lane and nods when we make eye contact... _wow_. I didn't think Jean would've even thought to invite him...he was always so against me being around him.

I glance back at Jean, who's sitting at the counter talking to who I can only assume is the manager of the place.  His brown eyes meet mine and he smiles softly before mouthing the words _'I love you.'_ Puckering my lips, I kiss my hand and blow it over to him.  He winks and pretends to catch it and slap it on his cheek, earning him a strange look from the middle-aged man across the counter.

"Hey, Hanny." Eren greets as he walks towards Marie and I.  She smiles kindly and he holds out his hand for her to shake, "Eren Jaeger." She hums and her eyes flicker to Jean before landing back on Eren's green ones. "I'm glad you two have worked things out."

Eren laughs uncomfortably knowing that Marie already knows of him from Jean. "Ha...yeah... me too, Mrs.Kirstein." The woman ruffles his hair, "Don't worry. He's not _always_ an ass. Oh! This must be the beautiful Mikasa I've heard about." She motions to his girlfriend. Mikasa's cheeks turn pink, "It's nice to meet you, ma'am." Marie nudges Eren, "And so polite, too? Lucky guy."

Levi watches from afar and naturally, nothing gets past Marie.  She rubs my back, "Go say hi to Mr.anti-social over there." I give Mr.Kirstein a quick hug and say hi before walking over to Levi.  I sit down in a chair near Levi and pat the one next to me for him to join.  He rolls his eyes but takes the seat, "Happy birthday, Hannah." 

"I didn't expect you to come."I muse aloud.  His eyebrows furrow, "Your boyfriend invited me... sorry to intrude, I'll leave."

"Don't be dumb! I'm so glad you're here. Especially because I know you aren't fond of Eren _or_ Jean."

Levi clicks his tongue, "I'm not here for them. I'm here because you're my friend. I'll admit, I'm impressed your boyfriend had the balls to invite me. In-person, no less." I grin and glance over at him walking towards us, "Yeah, he's pretty great."

Ackerman claps a hand lightly on my shoulder, "He's a lucky man...just remember what I taught you if he gets too handsy."

"Kick him in the balls?"

"Exactly."

-

After playing a few games Jean pulls me aside. His eyebrows are furrowed and his hands are clammy, instantly I'm worried. I squeeze his hand and glance up, "What's wrong, Jean?"

He smiles down at me and exhales. His grip on my hand loosens and he brings it up to his lips, turning it over to place a kiss in my palm.  "After we first met, I couldn't stop thinking about you...no matter how hard I tried. I wanted to be with you since the night at the pool hall, even if I wouldn't admit it to myself, Marco knew. I was drawn to you, Hannah. I've always been. "

He takes a deep breath, "After everything happened, that pull just kept getting stronger... along with my feelings for you.  Hannah, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.  Every day you make me laugh and every day you remind me of what's important. For once in my life, I'm finally able to look forward to the next day because I know I'll see you, or at least talk with you."

My face starts to heat up as the blood rushes to my cheeks. _God, he's so sweet._ "You're everything to me, Jay," I whisper.

His worried lips turn up at the corners, "I'm glad.  Stop interrupting me though, everyone keeps doing that to me today." He lets out a breathy laugh and I nod.  His eyes flicker behind me for a second before they focus back on mine.

"What we have...it's different than everything I've heard about or read. You're more than my best friend, more than my girlfriend.  I'm going to sound cheesy as hell, but fuck Hannah, we're soulmates."

As he says the word _soulmates_ , music starts to play from behind me. I turn my head to the sound and laugh as I see a three-piece mariachi band, decked out in their black sparkly Charro outfits. I had no idea what they were singing, but it sounded so beautiful. 

I turn to face Jean again and gasp as I see him down on one knee with a ring between his fingers. _He's really doing it... he's really proposing._ His smile is shaky but his eyes speak a thousand words, well, a thousand of one word: love.

A loud voice interrupts us with a sarcastic " _Awww_."  With my head tilted to the side slightly in confusion, my eyes land on the one person that I never wanted to see again- Reiner.

As he stalks over to us, the music stops and everyone's silent. I see Jean just shocked and completely caught off guard. I, however, wasn't frozen. I smile down at Jean and hold up a finger to tell him to give me a minute.  I turn to face Reiner and he smirks as he crosses his arms, "What? You thought I'd let you marry someone who isn't me?"

Though anger was the first emotion that had flooded through me at the sight of him, pity soon followed. I wasn't going to let anything or anyone ruins this for me, he wasn't worth it. "How did you even know we were here?" I question calmly

He nods to the guy behind the counter, "Jimmy's an old family friend.  Let's get out of here, Hannahbear." 

Reiner starts closing the distance between us. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Levi already starting to walk towards him. My eyes flicker over to Jean, who's now taking a protective step in front of me.  The blonde asshole laughs, "You think _you_ can please her, you horse-faced cocksucker? I'm the best she's ever had! I bet she's even screamed my name during sex instead of yours!"

That's all it took for me to punch this motherfucker right in the nose.  Reiner doesn't stumble, but he does look surprised for a split second before that twisted glint in his eyes appears. How did I ever love this man?  "Ooh, she likes it rough now.  That's fun."  He comments, reaching out for my hair. 

Jean grabs the asshole's arm and swiftly but roughly folds it behind his back.  Before he had a chance to react, I kicked him in the balls. Twice.  At this point, Levi pats my shoulder and his lips were turned up in the slightest smile. "Good job, brat. I'll take it from here."

Levi gets in a punch of his own before pulling Reiner out of the building, phone in one hand as he calls the police. Jean, who's standing in front of me again, starts sputtering. "I-I'm sorry, Hannah..."

I reach out my hand to cup his cheek, stroking his slightly stubbly skin with my thumb as I smile softly. "Can you start over?"

"Hannah, I don't want you to have that as part of this memory..."

I flick his forehead, "What? You restraining a douchebag while I kick him in the crotch? Sounds like a pretty good story to tell our kids. Plus, you got a _fucking mariachi_ _band_ , Jean."

Jean shakes his head and pulls me against his chest for a hug, "Well, I can't risk you saying no."

I kiss his ear before whispering, "I won't. Keep going."

Marie claps her hands twice, and as if she's a director in a movie, she declares, "From the top!"

The band starts playing again and I pull back from Jean's hug, my giggle couldn't be stifled and Jean takes a deep breath before speaking again. "Well...that wasn't part of the plan."

He gets back down on one knee, pulling the ring out of his pocket and once again holding it up for me. "I know I'm not perfect, Hannah.  I say things I'm not supposed to and I can be an asshole... but please know that no matter what, I'll always choose you.  In a thousand different lifetimes, I know that I'll find you and love you, even if in those worlds you don't love me back. I'll always love you."

My eyes start to sting with the familiar feeling of growing tears as my heart feels impossibly full of the love I have for this man. I fight to hold them back as my lips maintain a small smile. _I love him so much._   "Hannah I know it may be fast, and I'll wait forever if you need, but what have we ever done what was expected of us anyway?" I nod, letting the tears that I was holding back spill over and streak my face.

"I wasn't lying when I said that the only thing I ever want to change about you is your last name.  So what do you say? Make an honest man outta me. Will you be Mrs. Jean _fucking_ Kirstein?"

My teeth capture my bottom lip as an impossibly large smile sweeps across my face. "You know I will, Jean." My voice falters as I choke back a sob. He reaches for my hand and places a beautiful gold ring with a simple solitaire princess cut diamond on my finger, kissing my hand before standing up. 

"I love you, Jean."

"I love you too, Banana."

My mother's words play in my mind as Jean and I embrace.

_There is never a time and place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a single moment, in a heartbeat._

At this moment, love is all there is. We never had to force it, love was stirring within us since the minute we met.  It's all-encompassing and surrounds us as if it's simply air. 

Jean pulls away slightly and leans his forehead against mine, giving me a glimpse of his charming smile.  I really didn't expect fate to hit me when it did, but as I gaze up into the doting eyes of the wonderful man standing in front of me, I know it's right.

 


End file.
